To think that sometimes a new partners income should be considered by CMS?

[LolaLouise]

My ex hasnt seen our kids in 2 years, or paid a penny in 18 months. This includes birthdays and Christmas. School residential trips, school uniforms, childcare, activities, everything they need is paid for solely by myself. My ex quit his well paid job to live off some inheritance rather than pay for his kids. He said this was the reason for quitting his job.

6 months ago he entered a new relationship, where he now is a sahp to her two young children whilst she works full time. This arrangement has happened for he past 4 months. He is saving her a lot in childcare fees by staying at home and avoiding working so he doesnt have to pay his own. They have a good set up with extra from tax credits and enough to go on a summer holiday together.

Now aside from the morals of allowing a man you have known for 6 months to care full time for your children, she is well he is a father to 3 other children he has no contact or financial support for.

Am i wrong in thinking their household income should be considered by CMS? As it stands, as he has no taxable income, he is on a nil rate.

I don’t see why his girlfriend should work to support his (but not her) kids tbh.

@JuicyStrawberry youre not stuck with lazy men. Its a choice to be with them knowimg they have children they dont pay for.

Absolutely not.

I am under no obligation to pay for someone else’s children.

It's not family money when the man is the SAHP then I guess?

@Jessikita i wouldnt put my self in that situation where i was expected to. Maybe if it was the case more women would have the self respect to not shack up with these losers in the first place so the fathers are forced to take responsibility themselves.

It's not always that black and white.
People can change once you're in too deep with them. My partner went through a faze where he didn't want to work because of x, y and z reason while I was working my butt off. When I first got with him he was working. He's working now because I made him, but like fuck did I give his ex maintenance when he couldn't be bothered.

@JuicyStrawberry i have emails from him stating hes given up work so he doesnt have to pay cms as he had the inheritance. He literally made that choice and didnt hide it.

If a man is just refusing to work then that is one thing. But when a couple have agreed for the NRP to be a SAHP, reducing any childcare costs then why isn't a contribution to his children considered as part of the wider household financial responsibilities?

But you are right i am angry af i work 48 hour weeks to support my kids and he just sits there on his PlayStation "looking after" someone else kids.

Im not saying she should pay. Im saying a calculation for cms should be made off household income not just the fathers.

A distinction without a difference.

I'm in favour of taking into account liquid assets - inheritance and the like. But another person's income? No.

I know of a man who did much the same thing: but in that case he is SAHF to his own child by OW as well as hers. And he is SAHF because they regard that as a better way of looking after their child and hers.

Now aside from the morals of allowing a man you have known for 6 months to care full time for your children

6 months is long enough to know he is reliable.

And finally (1) taking away his driving licence would often make him unable to earn and pay and (2) I doubt whether the newspaper would run the advert. Too risky for them.

If he had his children living with him then his partner income would be reduce any tax credits . So steparents are often liable to financial support children that are not theirs.

Why on earth do you think its fair that a complete stranger should have to fund your children?

Its galling that your ex wont pay, but she is NOT responsible for paying for your children. You are. He is. If he doesn't- then it falls to you.

Surely you understood this when you had kids? ie what would happen in worst case scenario if husband turned into total loser (as yours clearly has..!).

Sadly, for each of my children I have always thought, could I support this child totally on my own? I plan for no safety net and would never entrust something so important as my children's financial security to the whim of 'love' and a man.

Not that I would go out with a loser like your ex, but I would sure as hell not want to pay for your children out of my income if I did.

I look after my kids. You look after yours.

There is a total double standard applied to this when it comes to student loans. My SC's had to declare my income as part of their application for a student loan, even though DP and I were not married at that point. I had no option to refuse to give that information. My income was taken into account for how much loan they could have, with the expectation that parents and step parents (married or not) make up the difference.

You see that's different. If he's not working and has decided to live off his inheritance for a while then that's his income and maintenance should be paid from that.

The thing is with earnings, people go out to work pay their bills/run their home/earn a living etc and sometimes they are doing loooong hours. Sometimes in a job they hate. I really doubt a new partner would want to do all of that and pay it to their partner's ex.

@Andrewofgg there arrangement began 2 months into their relationship and they hadnt been close before hand. And i wouldnt call a man that has no contact with his kids on social services recommendation reliable after police were called due to him shouting at them drunk when he was alone with them at 1am. Personally. She either choosing not to believe what she has ben told about him, or has very low standards over who she leaves her kids with.

Could she be required to "pay" him a fixed amount in lieu of benefit in kind, i.e. care-taking of her children? This could then be considered as income for cms purposes? Because this child care does have a financial benefit for her and she shouldn't get this at the expense of your children.

@Pigsears household income. Not hers. He has zero income and the inheritance is gone. If she was a sahm and he worked to support the kids would you call it his money, or theres?

@lolalouise, no nor would I put myself in that situation.

But it still doesn’t make it right. You can’t expect someone who had no say in the making of that child to pay for your children. He never paid before he met her and you’re not her moral police.

It would be interesting to see if after a few years of the OP's suggestion if they broke up, would the courts still hold the ex's (now ex) partner partly responsible for funding someone else's children.

@Jessikita if he wasnt with her though he would be forced to atleast claim benefits and contribute to his kids, even at the minimal amount. She is enabling his choice knowing his situation. Thats her decision. She could say no you arent moving in and being my babysitter if i have to fund your kids too. She has a say im this too.

And following on from that would that (now ex) partner be able to claim some sort of PR for the children?

@BoneyBackJefferson it wouldnt be household if she left him and notified cms immediately. She would have no financial responsibility with no fakily connection.

You seem to know an awful lot about the ins and outs of their daily lives, relationship, finances etc. If you haven't even seen him for two years how can you be sure your information is accurate?

*family

@MinisterforCheekyFuckery because her sister is a friend of mine i made recently and we discovered the connection whilst talking.