To feel wracked with guilt for letting my DD down

[PinotMwah]

I posted on here a week or so ago about my DD (7) who has a horrific chronic cough which goes on for weeks and weeks. It's an ongoing saga - initially thought to be asthma but now not suspected. No cause has yet been identified despite an ongoing investigation and nothing works for it. When it happens its utterly debilitating -- neither of us sleep for days or weeks on end and we can't do anything. I'm a LP and no family around who can help so its all down to me.

We're now into the third week of this and last night again, after thinking we were over the worst, I had a night of almost no sleep due to the coughing. I am nearly deranged with sleep deprivation. At about 2.30am I kicked my bathroom door several times in rage and frustration. My neighbour (who is a bit of a nosy parker but may have just been being nice) has messaged me to ask if I'm OK.

I feel utterly appalled with myself. I asked DD today for her forgiveness -- I'm not sure if she heard me kick the door but for not going to be with her. She said she forgave me but that I had let her down a bit. But I feel that I am not fit to be her mother and almost wonder if I need to call social services on my own behalf.

I know I need to sort myself out and calm down. But how bad is this? Do I need to see a psychiatrist or is this something which will pass when things get back to normal?

I haven't read the entire thread but do you have any air freshener, perfume in the house?
Or animals?

A few people have suggested buying your own nebuliser and using saline - as you don’t know what is going on please don’t do this. Ds has severe asthma and a few other lung issues. For his chest physio they give him saline nebs first but we have to dose him up on ventolin first because otherwise the saline has can trigger problems apparently.

As tempting as it is I wouldn’t give anything without running it by a medical professional first.

I would also really be questioning why they want her drug free to do a broncosopy, we have never had to and ds simply wouldn’t be well enough to consider anaesthetic without his mix of drugs

THis is probably a really silly question given that you've tried so much already but anyway - is there any damp/mould around that could be causing her to cough? I know you've ruled out all allergies but I think mould can still cause coughing without allergy. Just wanted to put it out there.