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Original poster

Ethics regarding Instamums and huns

999 replies

BurberryIsSo2000 · 24/05/2018 17:14

Homeisthecalm here, I think it's suitable to start a new ethics thread.

Since clearly, the one from yesterday isn't really about ethics but Clemmie.

Thanks all,

Keep it as nice or as stingy as you like Grin

I'll start off by saying things should be clearly marked 'ad' or 'gifted'

Although the term gifted gives me the rage

OP posts:
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Boredandtired · 26/05/2018 11:59

Well as a thread reader, there are plenty of points raised that could deviate away from those accounts @cadyheron. I've raised a few myself about children/teens/exposure, there was some newspaper articles mentioned and books that were really interesting. If you really wanted good discussion it would be easy to move the conversation and shift focus. This is why it so strange you only discuss those 2 accounts as a general theme. They are likely to pop up (when mod goes back live I imagine it will be mentioned...) so perhaps just ignore those posts and pick up on the posts with content you feel is more appropriate.

CadyHeron · 26/05/2018 11:59

Anyways.
I do find it a bit sad that you can't even play dress up without people screaming offence and "transphobic!"

FortheWantof · 26/05/2018 12:00

Candace Brathwaite's feed has improved 100% since she joined her new talent agency. Credit where it's due. Perhaps they should help mod and fod.

Now off to enjoy my bank hol. Enjoy yours CadyHeron 😉

poca · 26/05/2018 12:01

Not sure why anyone would be surprised by Fod's slip up, he's hardly the king of woke. His whole "oh I'm a crazy hapless dad surrounded by women" is pretty dated isn't it.

nipersvest · 26/05/2018 12:02

Cady, FOD wasn't being pulled up about the image/dressing up, it was what he wrote that caused offense, using the terms 'pre-op' and referring to dressing up as a sickness.

Had his caption been different, the feedback also would have been different.

Boredandtired · 26/05/2018 12:04

Today 11:59 CadyHeron

Anyways.
I do find it a bit sad that you can't even play dress up without people screaming offence and "transphobic!"

Yet again a FOD reference... back to them again Hmmand you can but you need to be careful. Especially if your wife was slagging off a forum for being transphobic.
And he wasn't playing dress up. He was playing for the likes.

finks100 · 26/05/2018 12:04

I think the ethical point here is to what degree do you have responsibility for the comments on your page.
FOD clearly made a mistake, so he edited it.
The comments the fangirls then make to ‘take down’ the questioners is a real issue.

There are many professions that have clear and quite strict guidance about social media. If I had posted a photo then I wouldn’t be comfortable with some of the comments below being associated with me, even though the posters think they are sticking up for the instagrammer.

finks100 · 26/05/2018 12:06

I also can’t believe that he posted that comment in the first place and was quite rightly questioned about it!

CadyHeron · 26/05/2018 12:07

and we are in an age where things change so fast and we don't really know what the impact will be. But it's made me very aware, particularly with them making choices for their futures and wanting to present themselves, in their own right online.

Agree with that, bored. As I said on a previous thread,I think it's important that as children get older, they should be able to make their own decisions.
I know I don't post any pictures of my young teen anymore, as he doesn't like his photo on FB etc.
Which is fair enough, and I respect that and I don't put any pictures on.
The youngest though (late primary school age) still totally fine and even asks me if I'm going to put the photo on FB. Me - "Only if you want me to."
Him - "yeah, stick it on!" Grin
Everyone's so different.

nipersvest · 26/05/2018 12:08

Anyway, FOD himself must have agreed with the comments about pre-op being inappropriate, he edited his post to take it out, and posted to say he was doing so and understood why it was an issue.

Irony is the fangirl followers still continue to berate, would be nice if FOD intervened in the comments.

Boredandtired · 26/05/2018 12:10

@cadyheron totally agree and my primary age child is similar, but I've still stopped because I've realised that her consent now, is not relevant to how she may feel as a teenager. And that's where my main interest genuinely lies, we don't really know how they will feel. So we can respect that by posting with care (I'm sure your careful to ensure it may not be the kind of photo to cause embarrassment).

CadyHeron · 26/05/2018 12:15

Bored - I might post photos of them, and definitely have in the past on FB (closed down though, not public) but not any that would cause embarrassment. Just normal childhood photos.

nipersvest · 26/05/2018 12:22

In among the comments on FOD's post (not going to screenshot), someone has made a fair post, no swearing, just challenging his words, the reply from another follower is 'get to f@%k and lighten up snowflake'

Nice.

AbsintheFriends · 26/05/2018 12:27

boredandtired I was just about to make the same point. IME teenagers can become painfully self-conscious and desperately private, and constantly reinvent themselves.

This is their right.

Mine now HATE to look at photos of their previous selves - before braces, with braces, during particular fashion phases, with specific haircuts. I think for girls it's particularly acute (though I only have daughters, so don't know about boys) as their confidence and self-esteem can be very precarious. They want that version of themselves to vanish into history.

If those photographs had been shared outside the family it would make them angry and upset. I had no way of knowing that when they were still sunny, smiley primary school kids. (And I do wonder if the massive surge in SM use contributed to them feeling this way.)

Also, teens are incredibly sensitive to certain issues, and being associated with attitudes that are deemed outdated or unpalatable could cause significant problems further down the line. (Not least to relationships within the family.)

CadyHeron · 26/05/2018 12:30

Nipersvest - that's where the conversation at the end of the other thread is an interesting point.
When your followers are in the hundreds of thousands, and commenters can reply to commenters (!) it must be so hard to moderate the entire lot.
I think if you get to that level then it must be a full time job in itself trying to see absolutely everything and make sure that there isn't any abusive comments being made on there.
If it is at un-managable level, do they get a full time social media person to manage it? I think I would if it was me. As you wouldn't be able to see everything.

nipersvest · 26/05/2018 12:35

Cady, agree about getting someone to manage social media when accounts reach a certain point, I used to be a web editor for a magazine and running the sm accounts was the main role.

I'm just surprised the new comments filter on instagram hasn't filtered out that comment, the writer has written the 'f' word in full, insta says its supposed to filter out offensive language and personal attacks.

finks100 · 26/05/2018 12:39

I think it just takes a couple of effective comments to shut down the nastiness. I have seen other instagrammers do this effectively, but the OD's haven't and aren't interested in doing it. (Sorry Cady I know it is using them as an example again but they have been part of the issue)

Inflammable · 26/05/2018 12:39

Ha ha pp poor ole mod is Boxing Helena. Can we campaign to free her from FOD's stories!! Perhaps they'll morph into a family account. Presumably all her followers followed him too.

Boredandtired · 26/05/2018 13:15

@cadyheron @nipersvest I've seen accounts just delete comment threads and say they've removed offensive comments. I also think if you make it a policy on your account then people will listen. I've seen MP respond pretty well.

lastnightidreamtofpotatoes · 26/05/2018 17:20

I wonder if CB's husband is perhaps doing a FOD and joining his wife on the Insta job. His account is now public and his bio includes 'husband of CB'. She has been featuring him quite a lot in stories too.

sparklefluff · 26/05/2018 17:52

Oh Cady, it's pretty simple.

No one is obsessed with the FODS, they just happen to say/type a lot of stupid and uneducated things.

When other people have done similar, they have also been discussed. It's seems though, that's the FODS find it increasingly hard to learn anything from previous errors and just repeat them.

It's really quite simple. The provide the most controversy.

The question is, are they doing it by accident or not...

Boredandtired · 26/05/2018 18:25

@absinthefriends one of mine is a boy and he in fact had the most ferocious response! 'Why the f* would you post that?' -a birthday pic from years before. He couldn't relate to it or understand why anyone would want to see him blowing candles out... I was quite taken aback by his level of anger and upset but it comes down to what he wants visible of himself, and cheesy family pics don't fit. He was ok with the odd pic of him doing sports at competitive level but everything else. Nope. I assume he will pass through this level of emotion as he's turned 20 but I removed them all age 16.
I don't think we need to risk their being any further issues other than the standard growing up Hmm
I'm fairly sure others would not be so extreme (he's always been quite clear on his likes/dislikes and rights) but I know he didn't bat an eyelid about what was shared at age 9-13 so I could not have predicted this being a cause of such angst.
In turn he logged into my Facebook and sent messages from 'me' to people which I was furious about...

Boredandtired · 26/05/2018 18:25

@sparklefluff now there's a question...

Inflammable · 26/05/2018 18:47

I'd say yes and no with regard to the controversy. Definitely yes to the use of trending hashtags - KK, Why I'm no talking to.... and dressing up, but no to how they go a bit pear shaped in the comments. Being controversial and looking ignorant are two different things.

sparklefluff · 26/05/2018 18:52

You can make a choice to look ignorant, or you can truly be so.