Ethics regarding Instamums and huns

[BurberryIsSo2000]

Homeisthecalm here, I think it's suitable to start a new ethics thread.

Since clearly, the one from yesterday isn't really about ethics but Clemmie.

Thanks all,

Keep it as nice or as stingy as you like

I'll start off by saying things should be clearly marked 'ad' or 'gifted'

Although the term gifted gives me the rage

I mean I like following interiors I just have no issue if people put in this work and get paid

Brilliant we agree

Also there’s no known outcome yet of what the impact on kids will be in the long run so in a way no one can really say for sure yet

Ongoing experiment...

Sorry emotive not immotive!

Also I think it’s been incredibly lucky that nothing sinister has happened to any insta-families yet...I often fear for the safety of these kids as their identities are so public and it feels like it will only be a matter of time before the wrong type of follower gets oppprtunistic

That's a bit ominous Five!

Oh I know! Sorry! I feel terrible even thinking it. But as much as I’d love to live in my optimistic bubble that everyone on ig is as well meaning as myself I know it to be otherwise...and some of these accounts have hundreds of thousands of followers

I saw in some threads people have been able to even locate the addresses of these instamums. So much information is out there- it’s honestly scary. That’s what concerns me most about ig ethics - safety and long term impact on kids

A couple of SV's stories freaked me out about messages she'd received. (Not about her kids). She laughed but I don't think I would. Hopefully people are savvy about their locations. I live near one big IGer and they don't always post on the actual day they are doing something i.e. The weather is different or a coffee shop isn't open on that day.

I’m not familiar with SV - was it to do with personal safety?

I’m not sure they are less safe as a result of IG but who knows, maybe not worth the risk

It was just pervy comments by DM.

I’ve grown up in Australia and ‘stranger danger’ is something that we’re very much raised to be fearful of - so apologies for the very paranoid sounding posts

I don't think you're being too ominous or paranoid duckies. Some of these Insta children are having their names, their faces, places they go, the area they live in, made public on a daily basis. It wouldn't take much for someone to take advantage of that information. It's even more risky with the families who (like some of the big YouTube families) raise the kids to see the viewers as "friends" and directly involve them in addressing viewers etc. It blurs the lines so much.

Five I think it is a genuine concern and others have mentioned it too, don't worry!

If someone even mentioned my kids (and by name!) on a forum, I'd be off Instagram so quickly! These people feel completely differently about family life than I do, whether that's right or wrong.

@fivelittleduckies I referred to those comments as they were on Instagram and mumsnet and it's an example of how choice of words can really have a bearing on how people respond to you.
Actually I think as accounts change they can win and get it right, many do. And with that account I was happy to follow until all this recent playground nonsense. There's plenty of accounts that are currently winning and successful and don't court drama or engage in petty nonsense.

Although some posters try to widen the topic, really it's the kids aspect that concerns people. Nobody is getting that excited about #ad #gift on the interiors' feeds. I don't want to see interior folks' holidays though, sponsored or not. I hit unfollow on someone when they went on a boot camp. Get back to your wallpaper love!

@boredandtired for sure! Delivery of a message definitely matters but I read those particular comments too at the time they were said and in my head I had a less negative response than you experienced is all

I saw an IGers children at a day out, instantly recognised them and mentally had a 'oh there's someone I know moment' only to realise I didn't know them really it was instakids and I thought how weird.
Thinking back to a trip to Legoland where I saw Russell Crowe and his wife with their kids, I would never have recognised the kids. It's a very weird world now.
There was a time on a IG account a person commented that they thought they'd seen that persons children at an attraction and she replied 'oh yes they were with their nanny we have passes they go regularly.' Seriously? To hundreds of thousands of followers you've just put that out there.
I'd have been sat thinking god, how do I feel about strangers recognising my kids?

@fivelittleduckies very true, happens everywhere! Different people respond differently and that's why the internet and SM. can be such a beast!

Ahhh I can’t think of anything more uncomfortable than having complete strangers recognise my children (and by name!) I’ve never been able to bring myself to put my profile on public for that reason (despite some very tempting IG competitions )

I've been tempted to put my kids on Instagram just to get some children of colour on there Would have to make sure they're on best behaviour though. If you're going to represent, you better represent good 😂 😂 😂

I've noticed some of the Insta mums mentioned on this thread have been trying to show a more 'real' picture lately. Personally I find it really disturbing to see a mum sat bawling because she's had a difficult time with the kids/is tired/ needs a break/ feels emotional/ can't cope with kids arguing etc. We've all been there and we all need support but I think it's really unfair on the kids (whose lives we know inside out). I just think imagine what your kids would think if they saw you crying to thousands of people because of them? Imagine if your kid was on SM crying over you as a parent. Youd be mortified.

Like someone already said, they can't win. If it's real it's too gritty and not what their selling point is, and if it's too good then followers feel alienated.