To think that cooking isn’t hard...

[CrabappleBiscuit]

....as long as you are physically fit and not unwell and don’t have a disability that makes it hard, and have access to a kitchen and equipment (disclaimer)

Friends who say they or their partners ‘can’t cook’. But hold down jobs, drive cars and can put together flat pack furniture.

It’s not rocket science, read a recipe and do it. I like cooking and I’m good at it, dh isn’t a great cook but he still cooks a fairly limited repertoire but he does.

Is it just laziness?

It’s not rocket science, read a recipe and do it

Stupid judgemental bollocks.

I've seen my DH (an intelligent capable man) read a recipe and try to do it. But when you don't know how to cook, its not that simple, half the instructions don't make any sense, you have no concept of how long thing will take etc.
Yes, of course he can (and has, somewhat) learnt how to cook, but it isn't as simple as just read fucking recipe, bozo.

StormcloakNord but if you cook interesting food regularly then you actually run out of things- Ok maybe not the sour cream, but we run out of stuff rather than have to throw it out.
I keep 4 different mustards in supply, mustard powder and mustard seeds. They run out as they are reguarly used.
Same with capers.
Same with lots of other stuff.

I can cook, just not very well - I'll stick to the things I know and rarely cook anything other than chicken and if I do it's with my DP in the kitchen to 'help' (take over) when I get stuck or more likely can't be bothered to carry on, because I despise cooking with a passion.
The thing about if you can read you can cook, all well and good if you know what all the words for techniques etc are/mean! I got a recipe book for Christmas last year (it was actually a joke present) and I had to ask my DP or google half the words before I could even try to make any of it! A friend, whose a excellent cook (used to chef) tried to teach me once - it ended with us going out for tea instead.
But I will be the first to admit, I'm lazy when it comes to cooking because I just hate doing it - if it takes longer than 20 minutes in the oven then I'm just not interested. I won't even use my slow cooker because that requires food prep in the morning and I'm definitely not down for that. For the record, I can't drive either and don't have a job but give me a flat pack wardrobe and I'm your girl!

I think cooking is going the way of dressmaking. Years ago many people made their own clothes. When I was a kid in the 60s and 70s my mum made loads of our clothes and they were exactly right in fit and style and fabric. But of course it got cheaper and quicker to buy clothes, even though they weren't quite as nice, so gradually, she just stopped. Food is going the same way.

I'm a decent cook. I know exactly how to chop and fry an onion to get the particular flavour and texture I want, I can work out the herbs and spices to put in a dish to get it to taste how I want, I know how to cook meat and fish, I can bake, I clean up as I go along, I can tweak a recipe that's not quite right, I can multitask and produce meals very quickly and efficiently.

I've been doing this struff daily for 40 years though, it was my job, DH did other stuff. DH is retired now though and doing more cooking. He's much slower and messier and his food isn't as good, but he's getting there.

I'm on the fence here. I can cook, in that I can follow a recipe...but the result is often not great considering the time taken. So I tend to "sort-of" cook (fresh fish, chicken, veg, but bought sauces etc).

I also have friends who would say they can cook, but the results are on a par with my efforts. So I think anyone can cook well enough to feed themselves and their family, but I don't think it's easy to cook well.

I honestly love cooking and baking. But I didn't actually learn until I had to! As a child my mother was really dominant in the kitchen, and seemed to take offence if anyone so much as boiled an egg (I think she's scared of anyone being any better than her ) and school lessons were crap. We spent 99% of our time standing in a line outside not allowed to cook because teachers just couldn't control the kids. No one learned anything.

I also think it needs to continue as a compulsory lesson after year nine. And stop teaching such pointless things. Not that my year did any of it, it had we behaved, we would have made;

. Meringue
. Cake
. Trifle

And that was it! It's hardly life skill kind of cooking is it? And this was only ten years ago!

so much easier these days with u tube and being able to print off the ingredients and so on, i know there have always been books to refer to but its easier to access how to do it.

i hate cooking, find no pleasure in buying it all and having to cook and clean up, but it has to be done-
however as we're all leading much more separate lives here now ( kids are grown up) i dont do as much cooking and tend to just buy whatever is easier to knock up rather than doing roasts or anything too complicated that takes more time. I have just never enjoyed it and have never baked cakes at all.

For those who say they can't cook, it's definitely a case of not wanting to, rather than not being able.

I know there are definite exceptions to this rule, but I often find that people who are concerned with keeping their house spotless tend to be less into cooking that those who have a keen interest. It's like there's something more relaxed about a personality type who's interested in getting creative in the kitchen.

think cooking is going the way of dressmaking. Years ago many people made their own clothes. When I was a kid in the 60s and 70s my mum made loads of our clothes and they were exactly right in fit and style and fabric. But of course it got cheaper and quicker to buy clothes, even though they weren't quite as nice, so gradually, she just stopped. Food is going the same way

What a load of shite. Dressmaking has been a niche activity for a hundred years, most people cook every bloody day!

I don't think it's about having been taught at school or not, or about being good or not, or any of those things.

The vast majority of the time, it comes down to Being Able to Follow Instructions it's genuinely as simple as that.

I've known friends of the 'couldn't boil an egg without blowing something up' ilk, and also of the 'I try so hard but nothing ever turns out right' gang. I've watched many of both kinds cook, and they simply Don't Follow Instructions. Sometimes it's making spurious substitutions to the ingredients (I didn't have x so i used y) sometimes it's not adding things in the right order, or cooking times etc. but it always comes down to simply not being able (or inclined) to follow the instructions.

I do appreciate that there is a time-poor society too, but given that I'm a single mother, work over 40 hours/week and have no car so the commute is another 2.5-3 hours per day on top and I still manage to cook from scratch 6 days out of 7 I don't think it's really an excuse. It's just about people finding the recipes they like, following the damn instructions AND getting into the habit of keeping a range of the appropriate ingredients in stock.

I used to think I couldn't cook. But actually all it takes is a little bit of organisation and following the the damn recipe.

Some people don't seems to have much of a 'feel' for cooking, eg when to take pans off the heat or when meat is cooked. It can be demoralising to get these things wrong.

Why are posters making this a male vs female issue?

Because that’s what they like to do. The OP didn’t make it about sex x she referred to Friends who say they or their partners ‘can’t cook’ whichkmplies both sexes. Some people don’t let that get in the way of their personal agenda though.

I didn’t teach DS1 to cook much before he left for uni. I taught him the skills that made him able to follow a recipe and how to make a basic pasta dish which, by making small adjustments, could become fajitas, bolognese, chilli... He has learnt the rest by discovering Gordon Ramsey.

Haha.
This reminds me of a discussion I had with H around that subject. The ‘oh but I don’t know to do xx’.
My answer has been the same than yours OP.
Read the recipe.

For those who say that reading a recipe isn’t enough and you first need to know how to cook.
Just use a good recipe book. This will tell you exactely what to do, how long to cook stuff etc... Even my 13yo son is able to do that.
You don’t need to know more than how to peel and onion, chop a vegetable and peel a carrot.

Why are posters making this a male vs female issue

Because we all know that is the reality, I expect.

I agree, and from a personal POV I’m glad you put in about disability etc.

I do wonder if in some cases where there looks like there’s no ‘excuse’ there are hidden reasons as to why people “can’t do it” - for example I spent years wondering why I was so shit (I can manage a fair bit now but I really struggle with timing and learning new things and the kitchen always resembles a bomb site when I’m done) before I realised as an adult that in fact I am autistic, and the lack of coordination/executive function etc are a part of that. Things like dyspraxia are vastly underdiagnosed I think. So what looks like laziness may not always be.

But yes if there are really no reasons that make it hard to learn or physically manage, I don’t see why anyone couldn’t do it.

Lack of expectation is a huge problem, so many men particularly brought up with the women doing everything.

I presume you are quite young (as well as rude Miggeldy).

I agree. It totally winds me up when people say this. I'm trying to make sure my dcs know the basics as I can't stand grown adults who can't feed themselves.

Cooking was more of a chore when the kids were little, but we've now come out the other end and the family is more willing to try different things. I find it relaxing at weekends to cook, and quite a contrast from what I'm doing at work.

But you have to practise and experiment and understand what's gone wrong when a recipe doesn't work, how you might improve it, change it to your own taste or what obscure ingredients can be left out or substituted if you don't have them or want to splash out on them.

Having a freezer helps, as you can cook in bulk and reduce effort needed to put a meal on the table, giving no excuse for laziness to be the barrier to having a decent meal. The poster who compared dressmaking to cooking is quite right. Resorting to ready meals means people will lose their cookery skills. And then we'll be sorry.

Wasn't this what "Can't Cook, Won't Cook" was all about?

Nope, I'm ancient. But what has that got to do with anything?

I agree soup.
I sometimes wonder if it doesn’t have something to d with programs wth celebrity chefs. Who because they are CHEFS can add a bit of this or that, don’t seem to follow instructions and do everything on feelings/it looks good etc...

I cook from scratch too. Most people say my cooking is excellent.
I tend to say I’m actually quite crap at it. Because I can follow a recipe but I can’t ‘create’ one out of the air. After years and years of cooking, I still need my recipe in front of me.
But I can follow instructions.

Any grown ass adult that can’t cook is pathetic really. And parents not teaching you isn’t an excuse. My husband grew up on the streets, and he’s an excellent cook.

My son was astonished when he went to university. SO MANY of his fellow students would call him in saying 'is this pasta done yet?' 'How long do I heat this pizza for?' And couldn't work a washing machine. All because they'd reached the age of 18 and never had to do it for themselves. He used to come home outraged, and tell me about it!

I think modern life means that mothers don't have as much time to flop around in the kitchen showing their kids how stuff works, and shortage of time means it's easier to do it yourself than let them learn by making mistakes. But it's not doing them any favours.

He was also horrified by the number of boys who would 'let' the girls cook...

What a load of shite. Dressmaking has been a niche activity for a hundred years, most people cook every bloody day!

Not a niche activity. I got a sewing machine for Christmas when I was 13 and made most of my summer skirts myself when I was younger, having learnt how to sew in a zip and a waist band at school in sewing lessons. Fabric from the local market was cheap and you could experiment without wasting too much money. I wasn't alone in this. Nowadays, people just go to Primark. Our equivalent, bargain basement clothes shop in the 70s and 80s was Top Shop or Chelsea Girl and they weren't cheap.

Why are posters making this a male vs female issue
Because we all know that is the reality, I expect.

What reality? I have plenty of friends who don't cook. Female friends, their DH does the food shop and all the cooking. I know a couple when said DH batched-cooked purees at the weekend when their wife was on maternity leave. It works perfectly for them. That's the beauty of being in a couple.