To think that cooking isn’t hard...

[CrabappleBiscuit]

....as long as you are physically fit and not unwell and don’t have a disability that makes it hard, and have access to a kitchen and equipment (disclaimer)

Friends who say they or their partners ‘can’t cook’. But hold down jobs, drive cars and can put together flat pack furniture.

It’s not rocket science, read a recipe and do it. I like cooking and I’m good at it, dh isn’t a great cook but he still cooks a fairly limited repertoire but he does.

Is it just laziness?

Why are posters making this a male vs female issue?

Agree... my DH says he can't cook but he can on the few occasions he's tried , he just doesn't like it which is very different

I don't think it's that simple. For instance, there's a cafe near here that is bloody awful. The cook can obviously physically cook but he is a BAD cook. He's just not aware of it.

But some of us are bad cooks and aware of it so we avoid doing it. Sure, I can physically cook, but you have to admit there's an aptitude for it, there's having a palette (I never use salt and pepper on anything and am rubbish at herbs/spices as I don't really have much taste in that way), there's having a cool disposition so you don't panic, so you can actually enjoy the process. Sure I can follow a recipe but it feels like a maths exam and even then I usually find I've left something out and it's so dispiriting to do all that then end up with shit food. So I cook a couple of simple meals a week for my DC when it's unavoidable and the rest of the time my (brilliant cook) DH covers it and I do the stuff I'm good at.

You might as well say everyone can arrange flowers. Sure we can all bung flowers in a vase but some people just have that knack for it. Okay, flower arranging isn't an everyday necessity, but you know what I mean. Everyone can't do everything, not well at least.

My 10yo is dyslexic and has a reading age of 7. He can still read Jamie Oliver recipes (he’s a fan) and cooks for the whole family of 5 once a week. So far we’ve had stir fries, chicken wings, sausage bakes, chicken in puff pastry, numerous pasta dishes etc. All with minimal help.

There is no excuse.

Glad you posted that disclaimer, OP. I used to love to cook but, sadly, it's now bloody hard indeed.

I didn't learn to cook until my 30s; a neighbour & friend who makes everything from scratch agreed to teach me and I feel very fortunate she did. Prior to that, I just warmed things up! I think, if you've learned from a young age, it's not too bad and following a triple tested recipe usually means good results. However, really good home cooking is either something you're good at right away or it takes years of practice and experimentation.

My mam never learned from her mother and she was never able to teach me. Moral of the story; parents - teach your kids. It's such an important life skill.

I love cooking as does my DH. He works long hours though so through the week it is usually me that cooks. He will often cook at weekends. He cooks delicious curries and lovely roast dinners as well as many other meals.

We almost always cook from scratch. If we want a quick meal it can be egg and chips or omelette and salad. We occasionally buy a pizza but most of the time I will make one.

Home made food just tastes much nicer. Also I know my pasta sauce does not contain sugar, loads of salt and additives.

DH's mum couldn't cook. She was a school dinner lady too! Her food was disgusting. She would boil veg for ages, soggy roast potatoes, lumpy mash etc

Improvisational cooking - by which I mean planning and putting a meal together from the ingredients you have, without following a recipe - takes practice and experience

Totally agree with this. We grew up in quite a poor household and my mum's ability to throw something together with limited ingredients never ceased to amaze me. I have picked it up from her and am a good improvisational cook. My husband however, needs a recipe to go from, or his food is bland and crap.

True thing is cooking is a skill and for some poeple it doesn't come naturally.
My dp really struggles with it and bless him he tries but it is not something he is good at at all. I on the other hand am a natural cook and can put a meal together with pretty much anything.
Although I think what helped me was that i was cooking for my family everyother day from 14 and I find it very easy where as do wasn't allowed near the stove untill he moved out of home at 21 and I started to teach him

I can cook but I do find it a bit pointless sometimes. DH is undergoing chemo at the moment and on days when he does feel like eating we tend to go out so he can have a day out and some nice lunch somewhere or if we’re at home, he’ll have cheese on toast or similar as he doesn’t fancy big meals and can’t stomach chilli or curry, which I used to make in big batches. The other day we went out and he had soup, yesterday he had ‘skinny’ chicken burger at Byron (so just chicken and salad really). I don’t see the point in cooking a meal like curry for one, as there’s always loads left so I either end up chucking it or eating the same meal three/four days on the bounce (not much room in the freezer). I love baking and did some muffins to take to my SILs afternoon tea last week. When I lived on my own, I lived on ready meals as it’s too much faff and mess to cook for one.

My mum isn’t bad, although she would say she is ‘crap’, when I was little I loved her shepherds pie but my dad only likes ‘plain’ food (meat and two veg, no sauces/stir fry/chilli/curry) so I think she’s just sick to death of doing the same dishes the last forty-odd years.

My lessons at school (over 20 years ago) were awful, cooked a few basics in lower years but for GCSE it was ‘Food Studies’ and as pp said things like ‘Design a ready meal and box’ and we did a module on additives. The teacher told my mum on parents evening (when mum said I was disappointed with the lack of actual cooking) that ‘You can do this course and don’t need to do any cooking for the entire two years’!

My 9 year old made spaghetti carbonara last night.

Fil doesn't cook just sits there like a giant toddler while mil brings him his dinner. He was when dh whipped up a lamb curry and even asked "where did you learn to do that then?" Presumably women born with innate cookery knowledge denied to men?!

I never used to cook any more than simple meals then we got hooked onto watching some cookery show. Now I absolutely love cooking. I have never baked though, I would just eat far too much of that.

Ready made food is relatively more expensive and/or tends to be highly processed - full of salt, sugar, transfats. It's really more about making profits for manufacturers and supermarkets than about nutrition.

I think the nation would be a great deal heathier if everybody felt confident with simple fruit and veg preparation, cooking rice and pasta, grilling meat/fish/poultry etc.

If for example a recipe calls for a teaspoon of dried oregano and we haven't got that he'll think that he can't make the meal. It wouldn't occur to him to just leave it out or use basil instead

That’s interesting @Oysterbabe. I have some friends like that & it is about not being interested in cooking/food - if you don’t know what oregano tastes like, or what it adds to the dish, then you won’t know how or what to substitute.

I used to go out with a guy who when I cooked spag Bol for the first time got really freaked out at the celery, carrot, garlic & spices I was putting in it. Particularly insistent that he hated garlic. I was confused as we had been out to a few Italian restaurants at that point & he’d eaten several classic Italian dishes that contained all these ingredients! He just didn’t know he’d been eating them

It's about familiarity and desire or motivation. If someone has always done it for you you are not going to want to change that easily.

I find sewing easy, I find drawing easy, I find changing oil and checking tyres easy, I find business stuff easy doesn't mean everyone will. Whether or not they have read the book

Thing is...I CAN cook, but don't enjoy it at all. It's a real chore to me. However, sit me in front of a sewing machine with lots of fabrics, and I'd stay there all day totally absorbed in whatever I'm making.

Anyone can cook if they HAVE to. Just most people don't put themselves in the way of having to.

My OH can't. He can't even read a recipe properly. I tried to show him how to make cakes, he was weighing out sugar. I suggested that his scales were broken (because the amount he was about to add was NOT FOUR OUNCES! More like a pound) and he wouldn't have it. The results were welded to the baking sheet, so he's never tried again.

His mum always cooked and he wasn't interested in what went on in the kitchen. That was something Other People did.

So now he heats stuff up. He's not dead yet.

Reading/googling can help to a degree but even chefs disagree on the correct techniques for certain things.

Learning with someone to guide you and reassure you you're getting it right - and can recognise and rescue you if it starts going wrong (now THAT is a skill) is better.

Eg there's a friend's quote 'how do you know when the butters done?' And Monica a chef replies something like 'about 2 minutes before it looks like that' (I'm still not sure what the hell butter had to do with either trifle OR shepherds pie!

Mustbemad on another thread the op has a 12 year old dsd and a 10 year old ds and the family is now adjusting to another dsd. She was saying all she expects the first 2 to do is make beds, draw curtains/blinds and put toys away. New dsd was expected to do more at her mothers including cooking, she's 15 (and is now making herself out some kind of modern Cinderella), the op was shocked.

I too as a mature student at uni was really shocked at the number of otherwise sensible students who had no idea of budgeting, cooking (yes even struggling with eg boiling pasta), basic household chores like laundry (lots of mixed wash accidents).

I really do think if by the time your child is 18 they can't do the basics to look after themselves (disabilities etc aside), you haven't done your job as a parent.

Oysterbabe I also said on another thread that it's not necessarily easy as an inexperienced and unconfident cook won't know how to adjust ingredients to their own taste, won't know certain ingredients can be replaced and what with or that leaving them out won't 'ruin' the dish.

Fleur - wondering if your my bro's wife, that sounds like my sister yet she makes it sound like she's chained to the kitchen!

I rarely follow a recipe for cooking now as I know what we like and cook accordingly. New recipes I'll read a few times, decide how I'm going to alter it then give it a go.

Baking I at least need the amounts for the ingredients.

My mum who is an amazing cook doesn't even measure out ingredients for baking does it all by eye/touch and it's always perfect - meanwhile my scones barely rise!! And I can't seem to crack choux pastry. I can do good pastry and sponge cakes though.

My ex hated cooking but he was a VERY fussy eater (only ate 6 things when I first met him) and had a very basic skill level initially. His mother is an ok but simple cook. After we moved in together I got him trying other foods including being involved in the cooking of them and he went from a very fussy eater who 'didn't like foreign food' to a lover of Thai curries and stroganoff!

I dont agree. I can cook and have always thought if you can read you can cook... but my dp genuinely cant. Hes able bodied, able minded..drives..works..plays sport..etc etc.. but he cannot cook. He understands the concept but he cannot make things time right..ive got him to help me so many times but just gave up in the end. He can obviously take something from packaging and oven it at 190deg for 20mins... but if there's more than one element or a long recipe to follow he just cant. Fresh cooking is my job

What's the point of your thread OP? Judgement on other people as backed up by another poster hot on your heels with "I can't believe what people feed their children"...

So helpful.

“but if there's more than one element or a long recipe to follow he just cant. Fresh cooking is my job”

Well done your dp. Result,

I think it's alright not to be 'good' at cooking....ie making things a bit bland, accidentally under or overcooking things by a minute or two etc. Cooking is after all a skill and we all have things we're better or worse at but that's a completely different thing from saying you can't even make scrambled eggs, or a simple pasta sauce or sticking some salmon in foil and baking it...I mean my bolognaise is nicer than DHs (because im Italian and lovingly simmer it for hours) but his is perfectly edible. OTOH when I cook chicken its always a bit dry, when DH does it its always soft and with the right amount of spice.

DP and I cook, we do it most days and we CAN cook... I find it hard though? I think my difficulty with it comes from never having the right ingredient.

You say it's easy to open up a book and read/follow a recipe but my problem with that comes with the amount of one-off ingredients you need to buy... A recipe calls for, say, capers... or mustard powder... or sour cream or something like that - then you're stuck with a jar of capers/box of mustard powder/pot of off-sour cream because the next few recipes you cook don't require it. If you see what I mean?! Feels like a waste of money.

I can cook but find it boring so use lots of short cuts - ready prepared vegetables and salads, bags of chopped onions, jars of pasta sauce, microwave rice, frozen jacket potatoes etc. The meals I prepare are healthy but DH enjoys cooking so is much more interested in what we eat. We also buy some of the lovely meals from COOK .