To ask what to do about this manspreading arse?

[BastardGoDarkly]

Swimming classes, I don't know how but this bloke always ends up sat next to me.

My stomach drops every time he comes in.

He spreads himself out as much as possible, arms using his phone, and obviously legs together at ankles and knees as wide as they'll go.

I've got no room to move over, I hate it.

What do you do with manspreaders?

I'm laughing out loud at the arm licking suggestion and noting for any future situations

This calls for an extra large whoopee cushion hidden in your handbag. Change your position often, with a pained look on your face, and give it a little squeeze each time...

Put your handbag ON his encroaching thigh

Lol at the whoopee cushion and arm-licking - except I wouldn't want to lick a clammy arm such as the OP described.

How about spreading a sopping wet towel on the seat beside you? Build a barricade around yourself with wet towels, kids' trunks and shoes and bags.

Ma'am spreading usually works.

A hefty knock with a bag or elbow as a shot across his bows, then spread, making sure you bump into his leg hard, obviously and suddenly, not a slow press that might (urgh) be misinterpreted. It that fails then straight up loudish "move your leg over, you're in my space" accompanied by a hard stare. I'm usually past the point of please, and never ever do "sorry but could you...".

If you can’t take the direct approach (which tbh is probably best!) I would make a phone call. Start talking very openly about your terrible uncontrollable diarrhoea and how the hospital says it’s extremely contagious; how you’ve spent most of your time away in isolation etc as it’s an airborne bacterium that’s super-virulent

I bet that’ll move him along...

I pushed back against a manspreader on a plane once. He told me I was assautting him and said he was going to call the police!

He literally had his elbow over the seat arm and in my seat, prodding into my side!

Men can be such cunts. I was left feeling very upset as he was imitating me in a baby voice. I asked if he would speak to a woman in his family like that, or would speak to me like that if I was a man. His response was to ask me how I knew he was not a woman himseld, ie trans.

I think I came up against an uber mysogonist, but I wont be pushing back again.

’Please could you take up less space with your knees, it is rather cramped here. Thank you.’ Say quietly with serious face. He is BVU.

Knitting. My mum could edge out the most determined spreader with her elbows and needles.

Absentmindedly pick your nose/clean out your ear canal and then look around for somewhere to deposit your finds.

A friend of mine on the old jiggly slam door trains on Croydon line. Man in a suit was leaning against her on the train taking her space .... she waited for a jolt and deftly stepped away leaving him to fall heavily to the floor... he was furious. Always makes me smile

Am I the only one finding the idea of licking a large clammy man’s arm 🤮?

On which note, you could try vomiting on him.

Get out a nitty gritty comb and start using it on your own hair?

Or his?

Get your phone out and start writing a text that says "that fucking sweaty twat is manspreading all over me again, vile" so he can see it

@Oddish he looked horrified and moved as far away from me as he could.

job done seniorita

Love the nitty comb! You could flick your hair over him whilst looking at the comb and exclaiming loudly, found another one! Watch him flee

Have always got some safety pins on me. Sometimes, they accidentally open... Tends to do the trick.

I discreetly, subtly,gradually womanspread myself back into 'my' space. A particularly useful tactic is sliding my pointy little woman elbow in the gap between their arm and the back of the seat and slowly allowing the rest of my arm to edge them forwards. Then when they shift their weight I use my ninja like reflexes to reclaim the leg space. All done whilst appearing to be intent on my book or the stage. (Man spreading can be very annoying at the theatre).

Have you got long hair. I find a quick flick of the head sending a ponytail smacking into there face helps.

Their face

I'm at work and giggling through these. Unfortunately it's half term next week, so no swimming.

But rest assured when I go back I'm going to start trying them (and hoping he moves before I have to lick him)

I womanspread right back.

Some of these ideas a weirdo would probably like maybe just the weirdos I've met

I've also pretended to phone someone on the train explaining "the doctor says it could be contagious, waiting for lab results' :)

You need one of these

www.amazon.co.uk/Very-Peculiar-Marmite-Chocolate-Pack/dp/B005FE1QTK