To ask what to do about this manspreading arse?

[BastardGoDarkly]

Swimming classes, I don't know how but this bloke always ends up sat next to me.

My stomach drops every time he comes in.

He spreads himself out as much as possible, arms using his phone, and obviously legs together at ankles and knees as wide as they'll go.

I've got no room to move over, I hate it.

What do you do with manspreaders?

Why not just move? If he sits next to you pointedly get up and move elsewhere so it's obvious. I say this because may be he's not just a manspreader but a fancier.

@butlerswharf

I do this on the train. Last week a man actually asked me to stop jiggling my legs. I gave him my death stare and said very slowly and very calmly while not blinking "If you weren't spreading your legs so wide and touching me, it wouldn't be bothering you"

He huffed and leg. At the next stop he moved carriage. Cunt.

I also vote for arm licking!!!

"Can you move up a bit, please? Thank you."

(But I loved the arm licking suggestion. Dying of laughter here.)

"Can you move up a bit, please? Thank you."

No, don't be polite about it! This isn't a polite request. He's not doing you a favour. He's a cheeky fucker.

Saying "Can you move your leg out of my personal space?" firmly with a death stare is all that's needed.

Another arm licking vote!

Ugh it's so bloody annoying as well as physically uncomfortable. A man who naturally feels he's entitled to more space than you. Because he's a man.

I think you just need to say. "Can you give me back some of my space please?" firmly and loudly

Is there anyone else there who's opinion you care about?

Next time bring a book with a title which might embarrass a manspreader - perhaps "How to tell whether you have a highly contagious skin disease" or "Heavy Periods - an illustrated survival guide" and / or "How to Interpret body language - all you need to know about the inferiority of the man sitting next to you" (*Unfortunately those titles may not exist).

Take perfume and liberally spray it around in your general direction.

Take large knitting needles and knit.

Borrow a baby and change its nappy on your lap. Preferably a boy - aim the projectile wee in his direction, ooops....

Take a sticky sandwich, treacle maybe, and make a mess!

I say pointedly
"you are pressing my leg and shoving me - please can you stop it or move"

Planes are the worst

No, don't do any of those passive aggressive submissive things. Just ask, directly. Like an adult.

Apart from the arm licking. You should also definitely do that

Sit sideways, put your legs on his lap

Honestly, I would either ask him to move along or start spreading back. Use your elbows as much as possible ;)

Or as SDTG says, put your bag next to you?

Start muttering "bad touch, bad touch" to yourself. Or trial the more traditional "may I have a little more room?".

Death stare, but I have Resting Bitchface™️ so they don’t even sit close now

How about wearing a nylon jumper and shuffling your feet - everytime he touches you he’ll get a nice static shock.

Joking aside the sitting next to you everytime is concerning and creepy, do you sit in the same spot week in week out or do you move about? Is there lots of other spots for him to sit but he doesn’t choose them? I agree with a PP, ignore him but as soon as he sits next to you, get up and sit somewhere else while still ignoring him - every time. I’d also try to befriend another parent and tell them so that they can block him off on one side - then swap when he sits down.

"Stop bloody sitting on me"

But I love the idea of licking his arm

Start telling him all about your super heavy period and the cramp. Or sit muttering no I can't kill him, shut up, stop shouting at me and glancing at him.

You see I’d be in @BitOutOfPractice’s camp of just tell him (I’m not scared of confrontation now but I used to be) but with him choosing to sit next to the OP everytime makes me think he’ll be glad that she’s talking to him/any tiny sliver of connection and I wouldn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

Oh I totally agree with @BitOutOfPractice - he's not going to take a blind bit of notice of any passive aggressive hints and you'll only end up getting more annoyed.
Just tell him to move up. And do not blink or say another word while he looks at you in confusion/indignance.

Get your fucking leg off mine NOW you cunt.

Usually works. Especially when said very loudly.

I've actually done that. I'd tried pressing back and the cockend pressed back harder. That's why I said what I said.

His knees almost cracked he shut his legs so hard.

@JohnHunter
Start muttering "bad touch, bad touch"

I don't even know what it means and I'm laughing 😂

Or sit muttering no I can't kill him, shut up, stop shouting at me and glancing at him. 😂

sit muttering no I can't kill him, shut up, stop shouting at me and glancing at him.

THIS.

A mate of mine used to mutter - getting increasingly loud with each mutter - "Bastard, bastard, bastard, BAAAAASTARD!" when any man got too close for comfort.

Coughing all over him?

Or better, eat lots of beans and fart appallingly in his direction?

Obviously, your poor dcs might be so embarrassed they have to quit swimming, but it should be effective on clearing the seat next to you!

Spill a drink all over him