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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To LTB?

79 replies

Meme12 · 22/05/2018 19:51

Been with my DP for 5 years. I have 2 teenagers, with ASD (not his)

We now live together. He spends all his time gaming. Works for a week (self employed) then has weeks off. Makes excuses not to work, so he can play consoles ie job too far, no parking, not paying him enough, work conditions etc, etc.

He games, sometimes even waking me up at weekends at 5.30am or into the evenings talking on a headset. He literally comes downstairs to eat, even then sits on his phone, checking gaming forums. No conversation.

He says he is ‘bored’, which is why he does what he does. I am ‘boring’ and always watching crap on TV (because I’m always alone downstairs!) I talk he doesn’t even hear me, he is checking forums!! Ask him what does he think of dinner (convo starter) and my conversation is boring!

Today (after not going to work) I came home from shopping. Shouted upstairs Id cooked a breakfast. He came down an hour later (I refuse to take food upstairs now) and went into one about how he thought I had asked him did he want breakfast, not that it was ready (now cold). It’s my fault, I should ask, not just make something!

He refuses to apologise or take any responsibility. I’ve told him to F off and go live in a hotel, which is how he treats our home and me.

I don’t want to break up my family. But I’m sick of it. AIBU to LTB?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 22/05/2018 19:52

Family, you say ?

Blanca87 · 22/05/2018 19:53

The thing is you are not a family? You deserve better.

Aprilmightbemynewname · 22/05/2018 19:53

So actually op you have 3 teenagers?
Time to ltb imo.
He sees you as his dm anyway.

Louislovesmud · 22/05/2018 19:54

How is this a family unit? He sounds so detached, lazy and uncaring.

Sparkletastic · 22/05/2018 19:54

Get rid.

Wolfiefan · 22/05/2018 19:55

Who is paying for everything when he has weeks off? What exactly does he being to the family?

jaseyraex · 22/05/2018 19:55

That does not sound like a family to me. Doesn't seem like you'd be losing anything from leaving him. Infact, you'd be gaining your happiness back!

HollowTalk · 22/05/2018 19:56

You will feel like you're on holiday when you divorce this man. Every moment will be joyful.

On the other hand, post a photo of him to warn anyone who's online dating as he's going to be looking for someone else and I'd hate anyone on here to go out with him.

Samesituation · 22/05/2018 19:58

Not a nice life at all OP. You and your kids deserve much better than what you describe.

ConciseandNice · 22/05/2018 20:02

What you are describing is not a family. LTB. He knows there’s a problem. I doubt he’ll change. You’ll look back in ten years time and regret the waste of your life if you stay with him.

FizzyGreenWater · 22/05/2018 20:02

I don't understand.

There's no family.

You've just got a house share with a weirdo, surely?

Are you renting?

LoveInTokyo · 22/05/2018 20:03

Does he bring anything positive to this relationship at all?

M00nUnit · 22/05/2018 20:03

So you've told him to F off and live in a hotel - what did he say? Is he going to leave? Hope so!

FizzyGreenWater · 22/05/2018 20:03

I mean does this week of work allow him to contribute enough? Or are you subbing him?

KevinTurvey · 22/05/2018 20:04

Fuck that! Of course you should leave this waste of air.

TorviBrightspear · 22/05/2018 20:05

Get rid, he's using you.

arethereanyleftatall · 22/05/2018 20:07

Why wouldn't you leave?

Meme12 · 22/05/2018 20:10

My son’s actually love him! They don’t notice how detached he is!

I’m just so sick of having very limited interaction (my sons teenagers and ASD, understandably) I sit alone, downstairs, night after night.

After ‘breakfast’ today, he went back upstairs, sulking! At dinner, he came down and I asked him does he want to apologise. He said no, it’s my ‘fault’. We sat in silence, I asked how was his dinner, he didn’t hear, checking his phone and said ‘what’ I said it’s like one of my ‘boring’ tv shows, dinner dates....awkward silences, nothing to say and asked shall I just go eat in another room...he said I might as well!

OP posts:
Jamiefraserskilt · 22/05/2018 20:12

Yes. LTB. This is not a happy house

Meme12 · 22/05/2018 20:15

Fizzy I often ‘sub’ him. I cover his expenses ie his direct debits, plus his no money coming in for food, bills etc.

Then he gets ‘paid’ and gives me his few hundred quid wages.

OP posts:
MrsPicklesonSmythe · 22/05/2018 20:17

Oh god, no hesitation, get rid. Fucking waste of time. There's more to life. You basically just have 3 teenagers at the moment what's the point? Wish you luck

jamoncrumpets · 22/05/2018 20:19

Sounds like you have three teenage sons to me.

Meme12 · 22/05/2018 20:21

How do I do this? It’s my house, not his. Do I ask him to leave, time limit?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 22/05/2018 20:34

I thought he was leaving anyway ?

Changed his mind has he. Quelle surprise.

Tell him to get to fuck....the bloke is a waste of oxygen.

Meme12 · 22/05/2018 20:36

Anyfucker huh?

OP posts: