to dislike my neighbours (kind of know I am being but still)?

[paprika88]

My neighbours aren't totally awful and we haven't argued but if I'm honest I don't like them much because of how they treat the enviroment.

The neighbours opposite us at the back, I kind of know I am being unreasonable but earlier this year they cut down all the beautiful tress and hedges which seperated our gardens (it was on their property). They also did away with their lawn and had hideous astroturf put down eradicating all sign of life because "it would be less hassle". They also put up a large shed to keep all the consumerist tat overspill from their house and installed a noisey (energy greedy) hot tube so they could "enjoy the outdoors" which creates more noise and keeps our little one awake.

We used to get a lot of bats in our garden in the spring through to early autumn but they haven't been this year. My tree chopping neighbours asked if I'd seen any bats and when I said no they remarked that it was strange they had disappeared and when I pointed out that the trees they cut down were a sources of food (bugs) and roosting for the bats and that they had no reason to return now they seemed surprised but shrugged it off.

All around me people are slabbing, decking and astroturfing their gardens with no thought to the negative longterm side effects such as flooding, more air pollution and less wildlife, it makes me quite angry.

The council round here provides a full range of recyclinging pick ups including food waste, plastics, metals etc. but on our street only one or two (including me) actually do it because having to sort waste is too inconvenient and spoils the look of the kitchen.

I know people will think I am being unreasonable but it just upsets me so much how inconsiderate people are of their enviroment and the other creatures. I do my best with my own patch of garden to encourage bees, incests, butterflys and birds but its like I am pissing against the wind.

Their unthinkingness just makes me dislike them on some level.

Wildlife numbers in the UK are in decline. Numbers of butterflies in urban areas have fallen by 69% and hedgehog numbers down by half, for example. Gardens play a really important role. So it’s no wonder people get annoyed.
I do appreciate that not everyone can maintain a garden but there are alternatives to Astroturfing and paving the whole thing. How about giving a section over as a wild garden? Or a gardener to cut the grass?

hestia2018 I have every empathy for the animals. If you look back at my previous post on this thread you will see I have a garden that encourages wildlife and is teeming with it as a result.

However, I also recognise that some people are ill, old etc and need empathy too. Sometimes people have to do things they wouldn't if they have health, youth or money on their side.

I'm sure what I do in my garden offsets at least 5 astro turfed gardens for those less able or fortunate than me.
It's the judging on this thread which has angered me!

Perhaps some of the tree and wildlife destructors should be living in flats .......

My house sadly doesn’t have a lawn only flagstones. They are very old so have obviously been there ages. Doesn’t mean my garden can’t be a haven for wildlife though. I have pots of bee friendly flowers and bird feeders galore. Was delighted to find I have a nest of baby thrushes nearby have fledged and are all squeaking in the bushes in my garden.
My next big project will be having a small pond, just working out the logistics of how to do so.

My biggest thrill today which OP I think you will appreciate was seeing a grass snake swimming in a stream in a local park. Everyone else apart from me and two friends I was with had no idea what they were missing.

However, I also recognise that some people are ill, old etc and need empathy too. Sometimes people have to do things they wouldn't if they have health, youth or money on their side.

Yes I agree but why assume fake grass/paving is the only option? The gardener my Dad has through AgeUK costs £17 per hour I think. Comes once a week in summer, less in winter.
To fake grass a garden would cost around £3-£5k. You could pay a gardener for years for the same cost. Plus the fake turf will also require some maintenance, clearing of leaves and weeds etc.

Plus this wasn’t the case with the OPs neighbours anyway.

I agree it is sad about animals and the enviroment.

However it is their property to do what they want with. Some people need parking spaces, So they can work cars to get to work, school etc. Some people need low maintenance gardens.

I have both real grass and AstroTurf. The real bit is for the wildlife with lots of bee and butterfly friendly plants and the fake bit is for the dog who churned up all the grass in the shade to mud and moss. No gardener would be able to 'maintain' foul smelling mud and moss which is run on all day by the dog.

Everyone is different and not everyone wants large trees impacting their garden. We have two small ones which I am making sure don't grow too big so they can't easily be maintained. I dislike the ivy and bamboo that grows in ours from the next door neighbours 'wild' garden. However, it's their garden and I have no say on what they do with it.

You say you dislike your neighbours OP because of how they treat the environment. Perhaps they dislike you as well.

For people wanting to pave part of their front lawn to park a car on, there are special permeable slabs you can get which will take the car's weight but let you have real grass on top. www.marshalls.co.uk/homeowners/view-grassguard-permeable-paving

My garden is fairly wild with a hedge and trees.
My neighbours are so proud of their garden, it's a single plant surrounded by bare earth type, so constant weeding is needed to see the bare soil. Regimented rows of bulbs, no spontaneity. Lots of differently paved areas. They spray, pesticide and slug pellet everything in sight. They had bats in their roof and housemartens used to nest in their gable next to my garden, but now they have a boiler vent there so no more bats or housemartens.
They erected a fence really close to my hedge and said 'you can chop that down now I've paid for a lovely fence'
I found a young hedgehog outside one December, he lived with us for a couple of weeks until there was room at the local sanctuary. I paid for his board and lodgings and asked if I could have him back to live in the garden when he was strong enough to survive, but they said due to "keen gardeners" even in small villages, they will only release hedgehogs and their wild rescues into natural woodland.
On the other side, the people have made well over half of their manicured checkerboard lawn into paving.

Yadnbu op when we moved in we removed all the ugly paving, put down lawn and planted loads of plants to attract bees and butterflies, put a pond in, bat and bird boxes, insect houses and 2 big piles of logs and grass for hedgehogs.We also planted trees and always leave some rough bits. We live in a mid sized suburb so not huge, anyone can do it. We all need to do it, native species are disappearing because people are so selfish and detached from nature.

I can't afford £17 a week for a gardener, and he'd need more than an hour anyway.

Our garden's a disgrace, I've been told. It's pretty wild now. We got all the gravel up and out, laid a lawn (badly! I'd actually saved up so I could pay a professional to do it, but sadly he was crap) and as dh doesn't have time (or interest) to do the heavier jobs they haven't been done for years.

I quite like it overgrown though, and there is plenty of room for any wild life which choose to make their homes there, but it is walled with the bricks going do quite a few feet so I'm not sure what could get in other than the many many many millions of slugs and snails which always ate anything I tried to plant there anyway. We do have an apple tree.

Jux - I wasn’t saying people should pay £17 a week for a gardener at all! It was that astroturf and paving kept being mentioned for older parents who can’t maintain gardens, and I was pointing out that these are expensive to lay and there are alternatives. I think wild gardens are great!

All this talk of bats... isn't it illegal to disturb their habitat? Doesn't that include where they congregate and find food?

Sorry hestia, I just saw that figure mentioned as if it were affordable when to me it isn't.

I like wild gardens too, btw. I'm embarrassed to tell that we have 3 cats and one of them found some slowworms in the garden. I was delighted, but realised quickly that she wasn't going to stop catching them and bringing them in, so I gave them to ndn whose garden is astonishingly lovely and who was equally delighted. He still gives me reports on them sometimes!

I'm with you OP. I really think many people are disconnected from nature and prefer the simple option of consumerism. I don't think they understand or care enough to make the connection of what a lack of trees or bees could do. Too busy in their own little bubbles to stop and think. I hate it. I don't feel connected with many people anymore. They just seem blinded. We are all busy. We all have shit to deal with so I don't accept those excuses. Even my mother who lives daily in pain keeps a small plot.

We have planted trees and shrubs and perennials specifically to attract birds, moths and bees. Many from seeds and from like minded friends. We have cut hedgehog highways and put up bat boxes and bird boxes. We have a small water feature and I saw a dragonfly by it today. It made my day. Built bug houses from scraps of wood and logs. I am desperate for a slow worm. I haven't even seen a hedgehog for 10 years.

I have lots of slow worms so clearly my patch of Astro turf hasn't put them off . I do however, have to rescue them from the dog before he gets hold of them.

Plus this wasn’t the case with the OPs neighbours anyway

I wasn't talking about the OPs neighbours either...as I said - it's the blanket judgment that all astro-turf, paving, decking is evil and so are its owners, no matter what the individuals circumstances. Some people on this thread have felt very judged and I don't blame them.

My parents (ill, elderly) DO have a gardner. They also have astro-turf. But because they try and have a garden full of plants which still attract birds, insects etc, they can't afford to have a gardner mow the grass as well... the amount of work has to give somewhere. If you were to see their garden - it's utterly beautiful. The alternative would be to rip it all out and turf it over so the gardener can spend his time mowing instead! You pays your money and takes your choice!

You might not have meant gardens like that of my parents either - but the blanket judgements on this thread must be very hurtful to some.

I was half way through this response 20 mins ago, but my partner called to me because the male fox and 3 kits had just appeared in the garden as they do nearly every evening at 7ish.They are an amazing, beautiful sight. As I said...It's possible to have empathy for both!

Jux - I do like gardening but try not to keep things too neat, and my opinion is that if plants die then they are not tough enough! I like the slightly overgrown look ...

My next door neighbour is always apologising for his garden - it’s a scruffy lawn, big patch of brambles, some overgrown shrubs. I keep telling him it’s fine and I much prefer it to the immaculate gardens other people have . We often see foxes in it looking very happy!

I'm taking this thread as permission to leave the garden alone, the nettles are good for the butterflies and wild is better for nature. It is my civic duty and frankly I'm relieved

Can anyone tell me why the dandelion are good to be left to? I need my answers ready for when the neighbours moan. also an excuse for why I don't mow my natural lawn/moss?

Well we can't all live in apartments, and some people hate gardening or haven't time to do it. They may have wanted more natural light and needed a shed for storage. Stop being so condescending

You could try making hay - mow at early to mid flowering time in good weather

Dandelion wine? but yes dandelions are a good source of nectar and pollen for insects!

WTF did people do before AstroTurf was invented?

It's a relatively new thing. There are literally no actual reasons why people need it. Pay someone £10 a month to mow your lawn. Cheaper, more environmentally friendly and you don't have to vaccum it.

I agree wholeheartedly with you OP.

I died a little inside the day I saw my neighbours hoovering their lawn.

Also it’s funny how people go on about trees causing subsidence so they chop them down when in fact all the concrete driveways and gardens are just as likely to be the cause (on clay soil the ground shrinks, causing subsidence, because the rainwater is running into the sewers rather than soaking into the ground. Which is also probably why when we have a downpour my street runs with water and the drains overflow).

Yanbu. We've planted trees and get visited by bats

Huh. Amazing how I've only heard of people AstroTurfing their gardens within the last 5 years, but all of a sudden it has become an absolute necessity that people can't do without.