to dislike my neighbours (kind of know I am being but still)?

[paprika88]

My neighbours aren't totally awful and we haven't argued but if I'm honest I don't like them much because of how they treat the enviroment.

The neighbours opposite us at the back, I kind of know I am being unreasonable but earlier this year they cut down all the beautiful tress and hedges which seperated our gardens (it was on their property). They also did away with their lawn and had hideous astroturf put down eradicating all sign of life because "it would be less hassle". They also put up a large shed to keep all the consumerist tat overspill from their house and installed a noisey (energy greedy) hot tube so they could "enjoy the outdoors" which creates more noise and keeps our little one awake.

We used to get a lot of bats in our garden in the spring through to early autumn but they haven't been this year. My tree chopping neighbours asked if I'd seen any bats and when I said no they remarked that it was strange they had disappeared and when I pointed out that the trees they cut down were a sources of food (bugs) and roosting for the bats and that they had no reason to return now they seemed surprised but shrugged it off.

All around me people are slabbing, decking and astroturfing their gardens with no thought to the negative longterm side effects such as flooding, more air pollution and less wildlife, it makes me quite angry.

The council round here provides a full range of recyclinging pick ups including food waste, plastics, metals etc. but on our street only one or two (including me) actually do it because having to sort waste is too inconvenient and spoils the look of the kitchen.

I know people will think I am being unreasonable but it just upsets me so much how inconsiderate people are of their enviroment and the other creatures. I do my best with my own patch of garden to encourage bees, incests, butterflys and birds but its like I am pissing against the wind.

Their unthinkingness just makes me dislike them on some level.

Derxa, your garden sounds grim sadly but at least you will plant some trees. Well I did leave the shrubs poking through. I do have plenty of wildlife including rabbits, a stoat family, swallows nesting, rats and mice elsewhere.

I with you about the trees.

I get very cross about the people who want to live in a naice area (and tbh what makes it naice is all the mature trees and shrubs in the gardens) and then they chop it all down and put in fence to fence hard standing for 4 cars. But if everyone does that then the street is a concrete car park wasteland, and no longer the lovely green area they bought there for in the first place.

Do people like Astro turf just because it's soft? Otherwise, I can't see the point of it. I get that some people might not be able to cope with a lawn, and that they're pretty impossible to keep in deep shade, but there are other options. I remember looking at a flat with an Astro turf garden years ago - full of weeds growing through it. Hideous!

I hate trees being cut down, unless it's for a really really good reason (overcrowding, root damage to property, diseased). It just seems wrong to me.

I understand where you're coming from, but I've considered getting rid of our lawn. I'm allergic to all sorts of pollen and nature, with grass being one of the worst. If I hear a neighbour mowing their lawn, I know that I can't go outside that day. For health reasons, I'd rather live in a city full of concrete. But my husband has a good job here so I moved to be with him.

So we have grass and a lawn, and lots of plants in our little garden. But I can only look at it from the inside, because I can't often go into the garden.

We have a large'ish garden with many mature trees. The leaf fall in the autumn is overwhelming though . We have got rid of some trees, they were either really crooked or spindly but had to apply a permission as all the trees have a blanket PO.

I've also planted an espalier apple and pear tree and many shrubs. Everything that goes in the garden must be low maintenance and suitable for woodland life. I'd love to have bats but no idea what kind of environment they like? We have mainly oak trees and couple silver birch and sweet chestnut.

What gives me the rage is the multitude cats in our neighbourhood, so detrimental to birds, especially during the spring. I wouldn't mind if it was just one neighbour with a cat but we have three houses almost next door and all of them have at least two cats, one family has bloody four. And yes you guessed it, all the cats like to use our woodland garden as their personal playground

I also get rage seeing the overflowing bins on the collection day. Certain houses often have two additional bags, balanced on top of the bin. How do people produce so much rubbish?? I know it's petty but I sometimes wish the bin men would reject these bins and teach the houses a lesson . Even when I had two in nappies at the same time, we never had an overflowing bin and the managed to close the wheelie bin lid just fine. What it's worth, these families are all 2 adults and 2 kids, no additional people living with them.

Ok rant over!

And, I forgot to say, there was a lovely hedge between our houses, part of it was ripped out and decking laid at one end. The rest was killed off by the crap gardeners except for one bit that was allowed to grow into a tree. The remains of the hedge are in my garden so now I have a row of dead sticks and some mutant ivy instead of a lush green hedge. I saved the tree and made it into a shrub again and they have killed that as well.

I have given up trying.

Urgh-, sounds like my neighbours that completely denuded their garden on moving in, removing all the shrubs and trees, then complained to me that all the other neighbours' houses now overlooked their garden!
Well, yes...

Astroturf is, apart from anything else, eye-bleedingly ugly. It looks nothing like real grass. It's just some horrible green stuff sitting there.

This thread is a tiny bit bonkers, and by the time I got to the ‘Hell mend you’ bit you had lost me completely.
OP, it’s lovely that you’re so environmentally concerned, but really, what people do in their own back gardens is none of your business. I have AstroTurf, both my husband and I have chronic back problems which mean we can’t mow the lawn, or bend over and garden. Sorry if that offends you but sometimes needs must.

Kismett If you have dry soil (not clay) have you thought about a chamomile lawn, it is lovely and springy. I seed mine with micro clover as it is environmentally good, still has grass in it as well but just now it seems to be all buttercups and dead moss.

My garden has pots of flowering, insect friendly flowering things, several saucers of water and 2 bird baths with pebbles in to allow bees to climb out, my trees have lots of bug houses.

My neighbours however have one expensive and showy bird table which they fill with seed, and not a drop of water for the poor creatures, so they come to mine for a drink and a wash.

For the PP who asked about bats, we have had them, tall trees and they liked Leylandii and pine in both the places we saw them in the garden, sadly none here although did see one once. I thought about getting a bat box.

I’m with you OP! One of the reasons we bought our current house was that neither front nor back garden has been substantially paved over. We viewed another house in the same road that was in better condition inside, but both front and back were entirely block paved and I just couldn’t bear it.

I'm with you op. Such a shame they've destroyed their garden like that. I can't stand Astro turf. It's so tacky!!

I understand completely, everyone seems to want decking and concrete
and the front garden gets sacrificed to the all important off road parking space, then they wonder why the road's running with water (because it has no soil to sink into).
I have lots of wild life in the garden and I encourage it as much as I can and will be making a pond soon to encourage more. Don't despair, lots of us still love nature

I have astrotuf put down and stones on the rest of the garden and a fence to replace the hedge as I have a disability and can’t maintain stuff.

I may be harming nature but it saves me being in pain for a week after trying to cut the grass or hedge and also saves the local busybody knocking on my door asking me to cut the grass as I am lowering the tone.

It doesn’t mean I don’t love nature, horrible to think I am prob being judged

Haven’t RTFT but we live on a new development. Everyone has a garden, our back garden (as are most) is quite small, it’s manageable for us. Our neighbours have AstroTurf as their dog digs real grass but not Astro turf. We have thought of getting a dog and DH says we’ll get AT if we do as it’s easier when you have animals and obviously less/no maintenance. We have for some reason a large, open front/side garden which TBH is a PITA - loads of maintenance but we can’t really ‘enjoy’ it as who sits out on their front garden? No fences/hedges so no privacy. Trouble is we only have space for 1 car, I’m starting a new job soon and will need a car, so we’ll have to pave over some of the front garden. It’s very difficult to find new builds with enough parking due to local authorities trying to lessen car uses - fine but when you work shifts (which I will be on a 24/7 pattern) you need a car and somewhere to park it!

If any of the barren gardens are council/housing association, it might not be the residents house. Our house had a lovely garden when we viewed it. It was part of the reason we took it. There was lots of grass, raised veg beds and brick planters full of bushy things that looked as though they'd flower.

When we got the keys 4 months later and rushed around to check on our garden and start planning and pruning, we were met with a rocky expanse of mud

I am trying. Some of the grass grew back. I've planted more grass seed but finding it hard to find the time to water it and keep it alive. I planted a cherry tree that seems to be doing well. Strawberry plants have appeared, so I assume whatever the HA did to the grass didn't kill them.

They left front garden full of random shrubs and bushes. I think most of them are roses, they're a bit overgrown but Gardener Google tells me I should only prune them after flowering.

I have no idea why they flattened the back garden and took away all the plants, grass and flowering shrubs. We didn't ask them to.

I agree OP! It’s horrible when people cut down all the trees and shrubs in their gardens because they are too messy, and pave over their front gardens to park their ugly cars. Then in the summer complain how hot the city is and how bad the air is 🙄
Loads of houses on my street have paved their front gardens to park their cars. The street looks so ugly. My garden isn’t paved and has a flowering cherry and lots of plants. It’s surprising how many people ask if I am going to pave it! I don’t understand it. Why would I want to look out of my front window and stare at a dirty old car when I could be looking at flowers and greenery? Yes it means that I can’t always park outside my house but does it really matter? A 2 minute walk is good for you!

Re lawns and elderly parents. my Dad has a gardener from Age UK who comes and mows his lawn and trims hedges, weeds etc. It’s not that expensive, he loves his garden so it means he can still sit outside and enjoy nature but without all the hard work. I’m not sure how the costs stack up but I can’t imagine installing decent AstroTurf is that cheap so it could work out cheaper to get a gardener twice a month for a couple of hours.

@paprika88 I feel the same about my neighbours. They gravelled their entire front garden and planted one token shrub. They then gravelled over half their back garden, I'm amazed they haven't replaced their small lawn with fake grass, they probably will.

Our garden is the complete opposite, fences covered in ivy, a pond, plants that attract bees. I put rocks and tree stumps in the borders for bugs and bird feeders all over.

We get all sorts of birds, a few are nesting in our trees. We have bees nesting in an old bird box, frogs in the pond, field mice, squirrels and have had hedgehogs. I love all the wildlife as do my children. I hate barren, overly landscaped gardens, like my neighbours!

windermere - quite - this is very judgemental thread altogether! There are some very valid reasons why people have astro turf and some not so valid... but lumping everyone together as environmentally unfriendly nature haters doesn't help anyone! It's rude and shows no empathy for individual situations.

I'm nearly at the point of disliking my neighbour. She will not let me catch her eye to say hello. She doesn't speak at the weekends to her dcs or dh. We have our back doors open, so can hear in each other's houses. If they have guests (neighbours with dcs the same age as theirs,) she is the life and soul of the party. I feel really rejected as I try really hard to be friendly.
We were really close to our neighbours at our old house. I'm sad that she doesn't seem to like me.

What about empathy for all the animals that have had their homes and food sources destroyed?

My garden in in 2 halves: the top half is grass & the bottom has been left as there are some trees at the bottom with preservation orders on. I'm sick of people asking me what I'm going to do about the bottom bit, when I say nothing it's not the answer they are looking for. We have foxes, dormice and bats and I love it. There's absolutely no way I would ever have that horrible plastic grass. If that's being judgemental, I don't care. When we start having floods and lose wildlife everyone will moan.

That's a nice thought, @ToadOfSadness, but chamomile is another high allergy plant. And we have heavy clay soil.

I'm sort of sympathetic to people paving for parking. Here, everyone seems to park on the pavement, making it useless. I sometimes wonder if part of the problem is everyone insisting on their own house and garden. Surely we could maximize efficiency if we lived in high rises and had dedicated parking structures? It would be a smaller footprint on the ground and could leave masses of green space. Though I suspect the government would do nothing to stop developers from building on all that space as well.