to dislike my neighbours (kind of know I am being but still)?

[paprika88]

My neighbours aren't totally awful and we haven't argued but if I'm honest I don't like them much because of how they treat the enviroment.

The neighbours opposite us at the back, I kind of know I am being unreasonable but earlier this year they cut down all the beautiful tress and hedges which seperated our gardens (it was on their property). They also did away with their lawn and had hideous astroturf put down eradicating all sign of life because "it would be less hassle". They also put up a large shed to keep all the consumerist tat overspill from their house and installed a noisey (energy greedy) hot tube so they could "enjoy the outdoors" which creates more noise and keeps our little one awake.

We used to get a lot of bats in our garden in the spring through to early autumn but they haven't been this year. My tree chopping neighbours asked if I'd seen any bats and when I said no they remarked that it was strange they had disappeared and when I pointed out that the trees they cut down were a sources of food (bugs) and roosting for the bats and that they had no reason to return now they seemed surprised but shrugged it off.

All around me people are slabbing, decking and astroturfing their gardens with no thought to the negative longterm side effects such as flooding, more air pollution and less wildlife, it makes me quite angry.

The council round here provides a full range of recyclinging pick ups including food waste, plastics, metals etc. but on our street only one or two (including me) actually do it because having to sort waste is too inconvenient and spoils the look of the kitchen.

I know people will think I am being unreasonable but it just upsets me so much how inconsiderate people are of their enviroment and the other creatures. I do my best with my own patch of garden to encourage bees, incests, butterflys and birds but its like I am pissing against the wind.

Their unthinkingness just makes me dislike them on some level.

@divadee plants in pots particularly in summer are actually time consuming to look after as you have to water them every day. Even ones with water reservoirs use their water up every two days.

Grass which you can cut long every month particularly if you leave it to die over summer is much easier. Bushes planted in the ground that you prune once a year or every other year are even less time consuming, and a lot of them have nice flowers.

ikeepaforkinmypurse, yes that exactly. I think around here a lot of people were older and are now gone and younger people by the homes and then set about "upgrading" the garden in to a storage area / parking bay / entertaining space. The concept of a garden as a horticultural space or nature space is lost on them.

I also think they often just don't have the insight to see the connection between them finding an area pleasant and the greenary and wildlife around them.

www.woodlandtrustshop.com/category/65-medium-trees.aspx

Have fun working out what to plant to screen them off. Native trees are best for wildlife, but we have a winter flowering cherry (Prunus x subhirtella Autumnalis) which took a while to establish, but now flowers all winter and I love it.

I saw a woman on facebook totally mystified as to why the astro turf she put down in her back garden stank and had stained so much after only a year.

I mean, she barely used the garden except to let her three dogs out to do their business several times a day.

I completely agree in theory but I loathe gardening and my ability to afford a gardener would affect what I chose to do with my garden in terms of time and effort and maintenance required from me to keep it tidy. I'm not a patio heater, hot tub or decking fan though! I am a very nervous driver so would rather have a car parking space than a front garden, too. No extra maintenance and parking that won't induce a nervous breakdown.

Some of your are so rude and judgmental. Obviously a thread for venting - I'll move on!

YABU a little bit - different people like different things, who knew? - but really if you restrict your dislike to being, in your words, "on some level", your feelings towards them sound fairly normal &, provided you stay open minded to their positive qualities, shouldn't cause any real problems.

That's really sad OP. We have a thriving colony of bats under our eaves, and they are beautiful to watch at night. We had a poorly one last year that I brought into the house and took to a local bat rescuer - they were amazing, and really made me see how lucky we are to have them in our garden. They eat all the horrid mossies and insects, and are such fascinating little creatures. The dog and I often sit on our patio at dusk watching them come out. There are very strict laws in place to protect bats ................
www.bats.org.uk/pages/bats_and_the_law.html

Yanbu. I 100% agree with you.
People are, in general, selfish environment destroying arseholes. I despair.

Hotsauce, I dare say we would get on well we even have complimentry usernames!

Melamin, thanks for that link they all look lovely, I love a rowan tree. I grew up with one in our garden when I was a child and found them very special trees.

YANBU
I have similar neighbours. Every time they cut down a tree (another one went this morning) I plant two.
I blame this 'outdoor room' shit. They try to control everything and it all has to be 'clean'. The twats.
I would love a neighbour like you.

This is exactly what my neighbours did. Wonder if you live behind me. They chopped all the trees down and got rid of anything that could be called a garden

Divadee, I understand peoples reasons for doing it such as the one you give, I just don't think they are good enough and yes I do know what it is like to have to upkeep a relatives garden for them because they can't.

Okay, I was with you to a point but this strikes me as a little harsh and unnecessary and not a little superior!
I too have very elderly parents, who in their 80s decided to go down the astro turf route in their small garden despite having concerns about it. Nobody loves their garden more than my mum (a florist in her day) and it's still brimming with plants and flowers which encourage bees and insects and they still get bats! However, they are almost immobile.

And I'm really sorry that I don't meet your expectations of being able to do my parents garden for them, only I have about a third of an acre to look after myself, which incidently is currently home to badgers, foxes (and their new born cubs who play on the grass), mice in the woodstore, bats, several birds nests, newts, toads and all manner of insects from bees to crickets. All of them are encouraged.

Don't worry Divadee - sometimes we have to do what we have to do!

Can you replant some fast growing trees and hedges on your side of the boundary? It'll take a few years to establish, but eventually you will get some of that privacy and sense of nature back.

We couldnt even have grass it was that bad no idea what had happened as the neighbours was no where near as bad as ours and nobody else’s gardens flood as a result of our Astro turf. Our decking is over a bodged cement job someone did that honestly I’m not paying to remove we rent and not taking up green space. Any plants have to be grown in pots so we do have pansys and sweet peas and pots of herbs. We also have a resident hedgehog who lives behind the green house. Before we moved in it was dog crap/boggy mud and crap cement.

I live in a lovely green area, but the guy we bought the house from concreted over back and front . He only moved around the corner to a bungalow and had done the same there
We've done our best to make large planters, bought some trees, and feed birds etc. but I agree with you...it's such a shame.

YANBU I'd dislike them too.

Yes, I agree, thick as mince. Also they have no souls.

Puffyisgood, They aren't awful people but they are selfish and unthinking. I agree that different people like different things and that is fine but it goes well beyond that when the are being destructive to trees, plants and wildlife.

CocoaGin thanks for that link, yes I need to take action before more local habitats are destroyed.

Deshasafraisy, yes I dispair too, its all too say if I weren't so angry I'd cry :(

I hear you and weep OP. I hate the attitude that wildlife and nature is something messy and inconvenient that we can just opt out of to suit ourselves. It’s perfectly possible to have a low maintenance garden full of living plants and shrubs.

I hope they get bitten to death by insects while sitting in their hot tub, now there are no bats to eat them all.

Oh bats are wonderful creatures - we have a colony very close to us. The kids and I love to lie on thgrass atcdysk and watch them swooping above is...much better than tv or a tablet!

We humans are our own worst enemy killing off the delicate ecosystem that sustains not just other animals but also ourselves!

I'd love a garden with beautiful flowers and trees. At the moment, we only have a balcony but we enjoy watching the bees doing their work and the hedgehogs coming out into the communal garden at night.

*at dusk

Oh God I now want a winter flowering cherry tree.
I already wanted a weeping cherry, where the hell will I fit all these trees in?
OP yeah I get it, of course it's dispiriting when people pave/deck/astroturf gardens but sometimes the other option is to leave it to go wild, because no time/money/inclination. And that then leads to neighbours bitching about the "state of that garden"
Can't win