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Original poster

How to respond to ndn asking for money

56 replies

bedhead12 · 22/05/2018 12:59

NC for this - Every month or so neighbour asks me for money for their bills along with a sob story of how they've spent the last of theirs and have no money to feed their 2 kids....

Not sure why they think I have more money than them to be lending out but this is really draining me as I feel awful saying no and feel really awkward the next time I see them... I have explained I am not in a financial position to help but the requests keep coming, what do I do?

OP posts:
Angrybird345 · 22/05/2018 13:00

Just say no! How much do they owe you?

sexnotgender · 22/05/2018 13:01

Gosh that’s awkward but just a no I can’t. Every time. Don’t apologise, you’ve done nothing wrong.

Original poster
bedhead12 · 22/05/2018 13:01

@Angrybird345 I do but it doesn't seem to get the message across. Don't owe me anything as I've never lent them any

OP posts:
Atalune · 22/05/2018 13:01

“I can’t lend you ££ now or the next time. You need to stop asking me”

GalwayWayfarer · 22/05/2018 13:01

God, how awful for you! I would keep firmly saying no and perhaps point out that there are resources like food banks etc that she could use if needed? If she persists after that I would tell her that she is harassing you and you will report it. It sounds harsh but if it's happening all the time it's not an unfortunate one off where she desperately needs help, it's a scam!

Singlenotsingle · 22/05/2018 13:02

Just say no! How have they got the brass neck? CFs!

AmazingPostVoices · 22/05/2018 13:02

I can’t afford to lend you money, please stop asking.

BerkInBag · 22/05/2018 13:03

Just keep saying no. You aren't doing anything wrong just saying no. Also tell them to stop asking you. You don't need to apologise or explain to them.

Aprilmightbemynewname · 22/05/2018 13:03

Direct them to a food bank..

FizzyGreenWater · 22/05/2018 13:04

Sounds like you've always refused, so that's good.

'NDN I'm so sorry but you know already that I'm not in a position to help. I don't want to offend but could you not ask me again? I simply don't have spare cash to lend and that isn't going to change, sadly. It's making me feel awkward and it isn't helping your situation. Makes me feel sad that we're pretty much in the same boat. Life eh.'

MinaPaws · 22/05/2018 13:06

Do what you're doing. Keep saying no, you can't afford to help. They'll get the message and ask elsewhere eventually.
If you think they are genuinely in need, help them link up to a food bank and if you're feeling extra neighbourly, help them check that any benefits they're entitled to are processed and up to date.

bonnyshide · 22/05/2018 13:07

'I'm sorry I don't have any money to lend you, I am struggling to pay my own bills. Please don't ask me again'

PeanutButterSquash · 22/05/2018 13:08

I work at a food bank, please don't direct them directly here as we would have to refuse them. First they must go to cab, SS, their GP or health visitor for a voucher. Then we can see them and help them, they'll be given a few days of emergency food and a quick chat to see why they've ended up in this situation. Cab may also offer benefits advice or budgeting support. Hope this helps.

Angrybird345 · 22/05/2018 13:14

Say ... i wS going to ask you the same thing!

MinaPaws · 22/05/2018 13:14

@PeanutButterSquash - in our area churches and schools can also provide food bank vouchers.

ADishBestEatenCold · 22/05/2018 13:16

"Don't owe me anything as I've never lent them any"

Do you mean you have given them money, so they don't owe it, or do you mean that (despite them asking) no money has ever changed hands? Just curious.

Either way, you clearly mean they keep asking. You could turn the tables and, the next time they approach you, before they can say anything ... ask them to lend you £50.
If they manage to ask you before you can ask them, then simply say "no, I was about to ask you to lend me some ... have you got any idea who else could lend me"!

Or, as others have suggested, simply say "No. Now please don't ask me again".

FeralBeryl · 22/05/2018 13:17

How awkward.
You need to bite the bullet here.
' I really sympathise with you, I can help find you the numbers for referral to local foodbank, CAB services etc but that's really it. Please don't ask me anymore because I just can't help you and it makes me feel uncomfortable when you do'

IlikemyTeahot · 22/05/2018 13:20

Ha ha what a CF!
I used to have a friend like this...I shook them loose when it became a regular occurrence. She never had enough to feed kids but lways managed to have Hair, Nails and eyebrows done...not that I'm begrudging that really but to literally come back from the nail shop and suddenly realise theres only a fish finger for both kids (regularly not just a one off!) yet always refused my offer of a few supplies or to come over for dinner etc always wanting the money instead.

Mulberry72 · 22/05/2018 13:21

Just keep saying no I’m not in a position to lend money to people, broken record technique. Don’t be sorry about it!

ohfortuna · 22/05/2018 13:22

They sound bat shit and horribly manipulative

Rudgie47 · 22/05/2018 13:27

Direct them also to the nearest Sikh temple, they will provide a meal for anyone, no questions asked and no judgement.Great people always helpful.

Crinkle77 · 22/05/2018 13:31

Stick to your guns op and they will stop asking eventually. Give them money once and they will keep asking.

Furano · 22/05/2018 13:32

“Sorry hun, I haven’t got it to lend”

No need to say anything else.

ohfortuna · 22/05/2018 13:34

They think you're a soft touch and that if they keep on that will wear you down
Just give a one word answer
No
Don't apologize or explain or justify

MizCracker · 22/05/2018 13:36

Direct them also to the nearest Sikh temple, they will provide a meal for anyone, no questions asked and no judgement.Great people always helpful.

This suggestion always gets rolled out, and it's not helpful. It's not a long term fix and since when has there been a Gurdwara in every British town?

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