To tell colleague she can't change her name?

[Professionalminefield]

To summarise:

I am a GP partner, and have been at the practice I work at for over 20 years. I changed my name when I got married, but continued to practise under my maiden name, as that's what my patients know me by.

We have a relatively new partner in the practice, who has the same first name as me. (Let's say it's Lucy). She is getting married in the summer, and is planning on changing her name both personally and professionally.

The issue is that, as I found out today, her fiancé's surname is almost identical to my professional name. My surname is Townsend, her married name is Townshend.

So our practice will have a Dr Lucy Townsend and a Dr Lucy Townshend.

This is absolutely not going to work for multiple reasons:
- Many patients, especially those who don't come that regularly, struggle to remember who their GP is, or which GP they want to see. They're not going to be able to distinguish between Dr Townsend and Dr Townshend if prompted on the phone.
- We are in an ethnically diverse area with high levels of immigration. As a result, many of our receptionists (who give out some appointments) and our patients are not native English speakers and will struggle to hear the very slight difference between the names.

WIBU to tell my colleague that she can't change her name?

I think her being Dr Lucy for the calling of patients only would be a good option here. She would still sign as Lucy Townshend and be known to colleagues as that but when patients book her, it’s Dr Lucy. I think a discussion is the way forward here though.

Interested to know if she protested and “agreed” only under pressure, or whether she actually said “yep, I was thinking myself that it would cause all sorts of chaos, what are the chances of us having the same name eh? Better just stick to my maiden name”

How on earth would the OP ever know this???

It also appears that many peopl fundamentally misunderstand how GP surgeries work.

Then why ask us?

Glad it got sorted OP.

However, for your own future professional development, it's worth reviewing how you treat people.

Your high handedness with this colleague comes across as arrogant. The way in which you responded to those who disagreed with you on this thread suggests you aren't good at listening or taking alternative opinions on board. Why post in AIBU if you're so sure you're right and we all know nothing?

echt because she says they discussed it in a meeting.

@Professionalminefield

It also appears that many people fundamentally misunderstand how GP surgeries work.

We all bow to you wise one, and cry and weep with joy in your very presence.

I agree with a pp that you are jealous and pissed that a younger, more recently trained (and generally better) young doctor has come in, and is about to steal your lame limelight.

Shouldn't you be looking after patients right now, and not pissing around on mumsnet?

Well, I brought it up in the practice meeting this morning. Our practice manager and all the other partners agreed with me that it would not be feasible for her to change her name to Townshend at work, and she has agreed to continue practising under her maiden name.

Nice one. Pulled rank did you? And got your own way.

And she just AGREED did she?

The words petulant and childish and petty spring to mind.

Clearly. I thought they worked like employers under U.K. law, but now it appears they work like the Inner Party of the USSR. I stand corrected.

Our practice manager and all the other partners agreed with me that it would not be feasible for her to change her name to Townshend at work, and she has agreed to continue practising under her maiden name ... although for some unfathomable reason she has started perusing job adverts for other surgeries.

Shame - that means we won't be treated to a thread from someone in a few months' time: "AIBU - surgery has two doctors with the same name, isn't this just a recipe for confusion?"

Couldn't she be young Dr Townshend and you be Old (and obviously far more important) Dr Townsend ?

Despite getting many posts recommending that you and she talk about this like adults, you decided that the best way to resolve this was for you and your colleagues to gang up on her in a meeting and bully her into submission.
Badly done.

I'm glad your colleagues agree with you. A sensible decision.

Well, I brought it up in the practice meeting this morning. Our practice manager and all the other partners agreed with me that it would not be feasible for her to change her name to Townshend at work, and she has agreed to continue practising under her maiden name.

You ambushed her in front of all her managers/colleagues so she couldn't really have a say... Nice one.
You sound awful. What a bully.

Of course patients(elderly etc)will become confused.have you spoken to her about it?or have a practise meeting and come up with something that everyone agreed is workable?if you bring everyone on board they are more likely to work with you.

How is putting patients and other staff's needs first petulant and childish? The OP was professional throughout. No wonder women suffer in the workplace when refusing an untenable situation is called such demeaning names

It also appears that many people fundamentally misunderstand how GP surgeries work.

I don’t. I am a GP and I still think you are being vvv u reasonable and a bit of a bully.

i think youre quite right, Id be annoyed to have to say i want dr Townshend the one with brown hair and green eyes, not the one with brown eyes

Bit pathetic that somebody as qualified and educated as a doctor would still defer to their husbands family instead of herself anyway

The partnership made the decision it believed to be in its best professional interests. How on earth is that "ganging up" or "bullying"? MN really is a parallel universe sometimes.

Bit pathetic that somebody as qualified and educated as a doctor would still defer to their husbands family instead of herself anyway

It's not 'pathetic', it is just a personal decision. Thousands of women change their names every year and I am sure have lots of reasons for doing so. None of your business.

Presumably she realises the issue and doesn’t care
So what can you do other than mention it and say how uncomfortable and difficult it will be
Enlist the practice manager

I've heard that some doctors have god complexes but honestly, it was perfectly possible to solve the problem by discussing it, as you have done, without all the If I tell her she can't, then she can't bullshit.

Bit pathetic that [she] would still defer to their husbands family instead of herself anyway

She had to defer to the senior partner instead. Happy days.

She can do what she wants, if it bothers you then use your married name problem solved.

You think she can do what she wants, but the senior partner cannot do what she wants? How odd...

The patients need to be prioritized, not her, and I'm glad she was professional enough to understand that.