To tell colleague she can't change her name?

[Professionalminefield]

To summarise:

I am a GP partner, and have been at the practice I work at for over 20 years. I changed my name when I got married, but continued to practise under my maiden name, as that's what my patients know me by.

We have a relatively new partner in the practice, who has the same first name as me. (Let's say it's Lucy). She is getting married in the summer, and is planning on changing her name both personally and professionally.

The issue is that, as I found out today, her fiancé's surname is almost identical to my professional name. My surname is Townsend, her married name is Townshend.

So our practice will have a Dr Lucy Townsend and a Dr Lucy Townshend.

This is absolutely not going to work for multiple reasons:
- Many patients, especially those who don't come that regularly, struggle to remember who their GP is, or which GP they want to see. They're not going to be able to distinguish between Dr Townsend and Dr Townshend if prompted on the phone.
- We are in an ethnically diverse area with high levels of immigration. As a result, many of our receptionists (who give out some appointments) and our patients are not native English speakers and will struggle to hear the very slight difference between the names.

WIBU to tell my colleague that she can't change her name?

nursy1

Obviously there are reasons for her to align her decision with the OP's preference, but she is absolutely not obligated to do so. The OP isn't being unreasonable to discuss it and to point out the problems it will cause, but she cannot insist.

Of course YABU. Sometimes people's names cause confusion. People cope by spelling out names, using questions to ascertain which person someone is referring to, etc. Yes, it is a slight pain in the arse but it's just part of life and work.

If you're really convinced that your practice will not be able to function in this scenario, you could ask her if one of you could be known as Dr Lucy and the other Dr Townsend. But you may find that things shake down naturally and patients ask for e.g. 'old Doctor Townsend' or 'new Doctor Townsend' etc.

Talk to her about the possible confusion changing her professional name will cause. It won’t work in her favour either, so she may decide it’s better to stick with her maiden name. Alternatively she could have a double barrelled professional name or you could add your married name to make yours double barrelled.

many of my elderly/non-native English patients will not remember and will end up going to see the new Dr Lucy Townshend instead.

Yes, as a pp pointed out, that's your real beef with her. You're jealous, and worried that she might 'steal' your patients!

Several posters on here have mentioned continuity of care, which is a great idea in theory, but totally unworkable unless every doctor in a practice is holding a surgery every day of the week. Otherwise you can wait a v. long time to see the doctor of your choice. I'm sure even elderly patients would prefer to be seen sooner, by a different doctor, than hang around for the sake of 'continuity'.

@totallypearshaped

Easy peasy, she’s known as dr Lucy, and you’re dr Townsend. The OP cannot enforce this. Why should her younger colleague have to use a name which sounds less professional or use her first name with patients if she doesn’t want to?

Tell her like it is... your practice, your rules.
Except it’s not the OPs practice or rules. She’s a partner, her colleague is also a partner.

You’re the boss, so act like one and tell her how she’s to be known in your practice she is not the boss any more than her colleague “Dr Lucy” is the boss and the OP certainly cannot tell her how she’s to be known.

Step up BossLady, and, congratulations on your promotion to partner. if you’d read the OP properly you’d realise she hasn’t recently been promoted to partner.

*I have been at the practice 20 years longer than her - I will be senior partner from next year after the only GP who has been here longer than me retires.

If I tell her she can't, then she can't.*

Wow. So you're not actually senior to her at all until next year? You've just been there longer? Workplaces generally don't work like that. I've managed teams of people nearly twice my age who have been here twice as long as me. Should they have been able to tell me what to do just because they've been here longer?

Are you just worried that this new younger GP has come in and potentially may steal your patients? Do the patients like her more than you?

Have an adult conversation with the woman. I'm sure you'll come to an agreeable solution for both of you without having to throw your (imagined) weight around.

Surely the GP booking system ‘knows’ which GP is the lead GP or allocated Gp for each patient so it’s not like they need to remember anyway?

Good point!

YWBVeryU to tell her that; I made the decision to change my name both personally and professionally; it was a big deal - bigger than yours, with probably a lot more drawbacks. However, changing my name on both accounts meant the world to me. I think it would be really really unreasonable (and actually very unkind) to force her to keep her maiden name.
Why don't you both include an initial of a middle or maiden name?

@UserV

You probably think you're funny. You're not.

Oh I am my dear.....

Obviously this will cause all sorts of problems, some trivial but intensely irritating, others potentially serious. Like some pps have pointed out, it's beyond belief that a woman with the intellect to qualify as a doctor hasn't got the commonsense to see how ridiculous this is.

At the end of the day it's a problem for the whole partnership and needs to be tackled that way. Presumably the partners have regular formal meetings, this needs to be on the next agenda.

I think you approach is a bit unreasonable. You’ve identified a problem, now come up with some possible solutions. Try putting yourself in her shoes? Newly married, new and demanding job, maybe a new home – do you want to be the person who says, “Pass me your chips, I need a piss”? Would it put your back up if someone came at you with the ‘If I tell her she can’t, then she can’t’ attitude? If the answer is ‘I don’t care’ then you’ve answered your question. Be Dr No and tell her what she must do if you have the seniority to do so… but be prepared for the fallout. Can her role be easily filled by someone else?

If you don’t want to be 'that person' put your heads together and come up with a compromise – there’s been a number of good suggestions in this thread. I think a double-barreled maiden name/married name would work, and if you can agree on something you get off on the best foot.

My GP surgery has two female doctors who are married and share the same surname. Somehow the practice stoll manages to run just fine. If the receptionist asks which Dr X you mean, you can just clarify by using their first name if you know it, or saying 'the blonde one' / 'the one I saw last time' or whatever.

Well, I brought it up in the practice meeting this morning. Our practice manager and all the other partners agreed with me that it would not be feasible for her to change her name to Townshend at work, and she has agreed to continue practising under her maiden name.

There's also a chance she just hasn't even thought about it.

I had a friend who always planned to call any son she had Jack after her grandfather. She was midway through her first pregnancy and planning it before she twigged that having married a man with the surname Russell (and changed her name) that Jack, perhaps, wasn't the best choice.

I can see your logic, but dictating to her is not going to go down well. Have an adult conversation with her about how best to go about this. Point out your concerns and see if you can come up with a solution. So far you have 'heard' that her fiance's name is Townshend. What if they both intend to change their name? i know people who chose their own name on marriage.
Don't jump to conclusions. Speak to her like an adult.

It also appears that many peopl fundamentally misunderstand how GP surgeries work.

It also appears that many peopl fundamentally misunderstand how GP surgeries work.

Clearly. I thought they worked like employers under U.K. law, but now it appears they work like the Inner Party of the USSR. I stand corrected.

Well done, OP. I'm glad commonsense prevailed.

It also appears that many peopl fundamentally misunderstand how GP surgeries work.

Why ask said people for advice then, rather than your professional colleagues?

It’s hardly earth shattering that people who do not work in a GP surgery will not share your knowledge and experience. Much like you won’t know how other professional workplaces are run.

The partners in a practice aren't employees.

Interested to know if she protested and “agreed” only under pressure, or whether she actually said “yep, I was thinking myself that it would cause all sorts of chaos, what are the chances of us having the same name eh? Better just stick to my maiden name”.

FWIW I do think that her keeping her maiden name professionally is the right decision but was surprised that she’d ever have thought otherwise.

This was a worthwhile AIBU. "AIBU?" "Yes." "No I'm not, you people don't understand the situation well enough to know whether IABU or not."

Same way that partners in a law firm are not employees. Which means, for example, that I had no automatic entitlement to the standard one year maternity leave. Partnership agreement said three months! However it was negotiated.

Problem solved then. But a word of advice when you get them at senior partnership, treat your colleagues with a bit of respect, get rid of the what I say goes attitude! At the end of the day it’s a job title not a carte Blanche to treat people like minions

This would rile me, but then I don’t work as a GP. There’s a couple of people in the business with my exact name - the biggest issue is having to forward emails not for me!

I can see why it wouldn’t work in your setting, only you can know (and presumably, other GPs) how well it will be received.