To be angry about my friends social media behaviour when he is mentally ill?

[robotcartrainhat]

My friend has bipolar 1.
The issue is that I do not have any experience of any one else with this so I dont know what behaviour is down to his illness and what behaviour i should hold him responsible for?

I keep telling myself he is ill but its getting really stressful.
He wont really engage with mental health services despite people telling him to. He has been sectioned twice this year so far but managed to get released somehow... supposedly to be treated in the community but he doesnt seem to engage with this at all...
Anyone that offers him any reasonable advice he completely turns on.

Its on social media that this is becoming an issue for me as he posts constantly during the night and day on things like twitter and facebook and instagram. If anyone says anything he doesnt like to him in real life he takes to these things to basically rant for hours about them.

Its really getting me down. I dont follow him but he keeps tagging me in diatribes about things... He blocks me every so often in order to rant about me or my husband... but then I get sent the screen shots by well meaning friends who are appalled by it. So theres not much escape. And the stuff he posts is just awful. Especially about my husband who had the audacity to mention to him that perhaps he should stop taking recreational drugs as that might be effecting his mental health issues..... cue 90 plus public posts about how my husband is an abusive cunt etc etc... and then I get sent all the screen shots by friends who are horrified.

I just find it really invasive and aggressive. Its making me quite anxious.
Itd be fine if people just didnt tell me about it but because he posts these things publicly someone always sees it and 'alerts' me to it.
Im not sure what to do about it?
Like I said any reasonable engagement with him is out of the question because he just turns on you unless you say exactly what he wants to hear.

I feel guilty as well because ive basically cut him dead socially as I just cannot deal with the aggression. He used to be a good friend and its so sad. He justs wont listen to anyone. Not his friends and not mental health workers.

What do I do? Am I right to just be angry? Does anyone have any experience of this illness? How much is he actually responsible for the things he says?

Thanks.

FB causes more problems than it solves IMO. One day in the future society will look back at it as the monster that it is.

A fruitloop, Sweet? Seriously?

I love facebook and have had generally positive experiences of it. I have a lot of family abroad and have moved around a lot, so its really been a great way of keeping up friendships I would have lost and staying in closer touch with my family.

I think it can be very hard for people with mental illness to deal with however as it seems like interaction but isnt quite the same... it can lead to lots of paranoia, jealousy, depression and perceived rejection. I understand that so I do feel sorry for my friend. At the end of the day he just wants affirmation and constant interaction and facebook and other social media probably seems to him like it might provide that. I think he gets very angry that no one really engages with him...... but its because hes posting literally hundreds of things a day... then gets angry and hurt that no one acknowledges him

Hello im a mental health worker. If you call his local team they may be able to help. In my case i would have to make lots of vague non specific noises and couldnt say if he was under my team or not or say much but would be able to note your concerns and it may be part of a bigger picture that allows me to gather enough data to request that he is assesed for dentention

Difficult to know the line between personality and mental illness. I note lots of people saying that "they know people with mental health and they dont do that" but in my experience it can go hand in hand. Social media can often reflect someones thoughts so if the thoughta are chaotic and all over the place then the posts will be too.

We can all recognise typical depression but elated mood can be hard. Theres the stereotypical over happy mood but its really risky. Imagine thinking at a million miles a minute, where the rules dont apply to you, you have understanding others dont, theres no risks or down sides and you feel like you can do anything. Its easy to see why you get frustrated by those around you.

However even if he is ill it doesnt mean you have to be subjected to it. Eg if i became depressed and stopped showering theres only a certain amount i could do before id start to be sent home from work, lose friends etc

If you send FB the screenshots and tell them he’s harassing you they will suspend his account from being used for a certain amount of time. If he continues, they’ll suspend him again. Eventually they’ll just delete his account.

Does he ever apologise for his rants/aggressive behaviour/verbal abuse that occur when he's in a down cycle (no idea of correct terminology) when he's 'feeling fantastic' (your words).

Do you try and talk to him about his upsetting behaviour when he is in a better place mentally?

I know it’s only a small thing but you should be able to block him on fb even while you’re blocked:

1. To block someone who has already blocked you go here:

www.facebook.com/settings?tab=blocking

1. Type his/her name in the window, then a small window will show up.
2. You will need to identity the right person you want to block.
3. Then click Block.

Another way to block someone who has blocked you typing an email instead of a name.

It’s not relevant that his illness is causing his behaviour, you should not have to experience this.

@LeChatDeNuit batshit then if you don't like the word fruitloop

robo I live with bipolar too- and the behaviour you describe isn’t typical of the illness. Certainly not in my own experience.

You truly need to report this person and have the police deal with the harassment and defamation and whatever else he’s saying covers. You may think it’ll make things worse- but if your husband and others go on to follow suit, he will be pulled in for assessment and could be charged. It may have the impact it needs- he may get help, he may stop doing it. Certainly if he continues after being told by the police it must stop, they will rearrest him and charge him. Hopefully mental health services will be forced to sit up and take notice.

I don’t take medication, but I’ve learned to control my bipolar. Well, as best I can. I still have manic weeks and depression, but I have my kids to care for and they give me reason to keep myself in check. And if ever someone around me is concerned, they have the numbers to call and wouldn’t hesitate to protect both myself and my kids from the effects. It’s about being responsible and mindful about managing your own symptoms

You don't need to be on Twitter or YouTube to complain. Just go to their websites and look up their complaints procedures.

pamsterwheel this is not a down time... it stems from elation. He thinks hes a genius and no one understands him and they are trying to sabotage him by saying hes ill!
Ive not seen him this bad for this long before. When he was down before he barely went outside and was very subdued and did not post on any social media at all.
But even when he is 'down' he has been suspicious of people so even then he did not agree to share confidentiality with his fiancee etc So even then its hard to get him to admit to his illness. I get the impression he still thinks other people are trying to bring him down... even though he is much better with people in that time.

Ellendegen yes I agree its hard because he wont accept that hes ill so wont really engage or take responsibility for it in a way which would control it.

Thanks everyone. We have decided to find out who his care coordinator is from his fiancee and get in touch to just flag up all the stuff he is doing. Hopefully it will just help them to paint more of a picture of what is going on with him.

this is not a down time... it stems from elation. He thinks hes a genius and no one understands him and they are trying to sabotage him by saying hes ill!

100% typical of bi-polar. In my experience. But he still needs to be reported.