Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shouldn't I feel terrible?

88 replies

Liergotcaughtagain · 20/05/2018 23:02

Regular poster NC for this. I am sure how I feel is not wrong, but OH thinks otherwise.
We went away for my birthday this weekend. It was more of my plan than anything arranged specially by the OH. Ended up booking a hotel and had a fairly good start to the trip. Day 2 ( which is today) we went for breakfast to a near by cafe and while having breakfast, me & him talked about some stuff here & there & about the royal wedding. I mentioned my reservations about Meghan Markle. Nothing too much. Just a quick conversation. He seemed to agree, I think. But like I said it was more of chat than discussion.
He wanted to go for a quick smoke before we could proceed further, so I took DS to a shop near by to get some fruit & water. Fast forward 10 mins we meet OH & proceed according to the plan. I asked OH to take a picture of DS & me. Which he did & with no effort at all. He always does this. I took his phone to take a picture of him & DS & to show him how to take a decent picture for me. As I was showing him I spotted a picture of Megan Markle in bikini. It was the picture before the one I had just took. I asked him & it turns out that while he was smoking he had sent the thing attached below to his group of boys.
I never ever stop him seeing his friends. He goes for night outs when ever he likes. In fact I encourage him to take trips with his friends. I am seriously hurt. He thought it was a good idea to post this just minutes after having conversation with me. That too on my birthday. This clearly is about me when he says "SPEAK TO ANY WOMAN" Also all his internet history is gone & all he has to say is that he doesn't know.
Firstly he defended himself by saying that it's a boys thing & then proceed to say that it's a joke. All that effort to find semi naked picture of Meghan Markle to make a joke, on my birthday. I am so hurt by his comments .

OP posts:
ikeepaforkinmypurse · 20/05/2018 23:54

Should you feel terrible... for bitching about a woman and having "reservations" Hmm? yes, you probably should.

Your DH didn't seem to want to have an argument with you about it, when you write "seem to agree" it means he just let you rant.

You sound incredibly immature about the whole thing. I never ever stop him seeing his friends. He goes for night outs when ever he likes Sorry, but as he's your DH and not your teen son, so he should be.

You bitching about that woman made your DH think about her and send the joke to his mate. It's completely on you. If you feel insecure because you don't feel in the same league as she is, do something about it, don't blame your partner.

Lairyfights · 20/05/2018 23:59

Should you feel terrible for having a bit of a bitch about Meghan? Nope. Everyone does it.

Should you make your husband feel terrible for sending some pictures and a jokey comment to his mates? Nope. It was a joke, his mates probably found it funny. A little sexist maybe with the whole ‘oh women hate her because shes so fit’ undertones but it was graphic or lewd or anything.

Just let it go and move on I say!

Lairyfights · 21/05/2018 00:00

I did mean it wasn’t* graphic or lewd. Oops!

pallisers · 21/05/2018 00:05

Are those her real boobs? They're awesome! misses point

Apparently, they weren't invited to the wedding though.

Sparklesocks · 21/05/2018 00:05

I think I would be put out that he and his friends talk about women that way, but otherwise I wouldn’t be too offended - I know men look at women and fancy them.

Are you more upset that it’s any woman, or specifically the woman he knows you dislike?

Sparkles1992 · 21/05/2018 00:06

You're allowed your opinions on someone in the public eye so don't feel bad about that, people on here must be all be perfect, super kind humans who have never had a negative opinion of anyone Confused

I would be upset by his comment about all women, as he seems to have presumed you're jealous and dislike her because of her looks. It's a bit shitty that you seen it as I think all men will find her attractive it's just not nice to see your DH saying it. The fact that it's your bday has prob made you feel worse Thanks just remember that it was just a bit of banter with his pals and in a few days am sure you won't be bothered

MirriVan · 21/05/2018 00:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MumofBoysx2 · 21/05/2018 00:20

It's just a bit of bloke banter. Don't worry, I think she's only got eyes for Harry!

RitaSpanner · 21/05/2018 00:27

Are those her real boobs? They're awesome!

No, she had a boob job. They were a lot smaller in the first seasons of Suits.

pallisers · 21/05/2018 00:39

That's totes discrimination. If Tom Hardy's head was invited those boobs should have been too.

I know! and then the MN comments about the fit of the dress could have really taken off

Original poster
Liergotcaughtagain · 21/05/2018 00:58

Sparkles, Larry & Puffy.
Thank you for your comments. I am hurt by his behaviour both pre & post sending the message. He constantly gaslights & makes it seem that it's all in my head. When he was making all the effort to put this shitty message together, we were waiting for him to finish, so we could get on with the day for my birthday. I am not jealous of Meghan Markle as some posters suggests. I have found her attractive since her suits days. But She is a public figure & I am free to discuss her if I want to. All these people pretending to be morally superior with condescending tones don't appeal. Each to their own.

OP posts:
BlancheM · 21/05/2018 01:48

He's been a bit of a sad act searching for the photos, but he's obviously fancied himself as a comedian and your chat reminded him.
You seem quite uptight and controlling.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 21/05/2018 02:05

When he was making all the effort to put this shitty message together, we were waiting for him to finish, so we could get on with the day for my birthday.

He googled a picture and sent to his mates which probably took all of 30 seconds, whilst he was having a cigarette and you were in a shop, Hardly a long delay

Monty27 · 21/05/2018 02:14

OP are you always so critical? Your DH probably cba to have the convo with you because you are so negative.
Yes it was your birthday but the world doesn't stop for anyone. Confused Hmm

SabineUndine · 21/05/2018 02:22

All these people pretending to be morally superior with condescending tones don’t appeal and you don’t make sense. ‘Appeal’? Why do you think they’d want to?

You keep saying it’s a free country and you have the right to your opinions. I can only assume you’ve said something so ridiculous your OH found it funny and sent it to his mates.

ToeToToe · 21/05/2018 02:36

Your OH is wrong - I'm a woman and I don't think Meghan is bad for Harry.

But your OH is a dick for sending that message. Commiserations - your ds has a dick for a father.

ToeToToe · 21/05/2018 02:42

And yeah - I agree with a PP - those boobs were not at the wedding.

Beansonapost · 21/05/2018 02:45

Wow! 😐

Mummyoflittledragon · 21/05/2018 03:41

You were being a bitch about Megan. Your bf went a stupid message. Why not take a step back and see how you’re also contributing toxicity to this relationship? It sounds as if there is far more wrong than just him gaslighting.

PastaOfMuppets · 21/05/2018 05:01

Is this irony or hypocrisy?
OP: I am allowed to say what I want about MM
Also OP: My DH shouldn't say what he likes about MM

BitOutOfPractice · 21/05/2018 08:53

I don't think you should feel terrible no.

Is there more to this? What is your relationship like generally?

PastaOfMuppets · 21/05/2018 09:12

Is this irony or hypocrisy?
OP: I am allowed to say what I want about MM
Also OP: My DH shouldn't say what he likes about MM0

PastaOfMuppets · 21/05/2018 09:13

Oops, sorry about double post 😒

Flamingoose · 21/05/2018 09:21

This thread is a car crash. OP OF COURSE your husband is an total dick to hide round the corner sending a leery message to his mates, objectifying Meghan and dismissing you because he thinks you're just jealous of her. It was a twat move, more so to do it while you're waiting for him, and even more so on your birthday. It shows complete lack of respect for you and for women in general.

Original poster
Liergotcaughtagain · 21/05/2018 09:23

Ikeepafork....You don't seem to understand what the post is about just stay out. Also I am not insecure, don't project your feelings vicariously.

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.