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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In laws implying my Royal Wedding food made their DC sick!

65 replies

Loopytiles · 20/05/2018 21:53

Invited BIL, SIL and their DC (primary school age) to watch the royal wedding on TV, play with our DC etc, and stay overnight at ours. Spent ages on Fri eve/first thing saturday making nice food: posh sandwiches, nibbles and biscuits for lunch/ceremony watching, also bought a handmade, iced cake from the local baker. Later (6.30ish) served a hot, home made evening meal for both adults and DC, and ice cream for DCs’ desert.

On Fri they’d been in touch to say one of their DC had vomited first thing, gave us the option of cancelling, we presumed DC had a bug and said fine to still come if DC well enough.

DC were all in bed around 9pm. At 10ish last night their younger DC woke up and was sick.

This evening BIL sent a text saying DC was now fine and “we don't think it was a bug as DC was back eating and fine today. Maybe DC had too many cakes, crisps and e numbers during the day”

I think the text was really rude and am offended and pissed off. Feel it implies that my food was junk!DH thinks the text was just seeking to reassure and that IABU.

So as not to drip-feed, they are sometimes anti-sugar, in other family members’ houses (eg if desert is served) but also have lots more sugary stuff and junk food in their house - for adults and DC - than we do. There have been some past incidences of them putting DC vomiting down to “overeating” or “something that disagreed with them” and just turning up with unwell DC without letting us know. This time is different as they did notify us so we knew DC likely had a bug.

OP posts:
GalwayWayfarer · 20/05/2018 21:56

I think you're reading too much into it - it sounds like they're trying to reassure you that it wasn't a contagious bug for you to worry about. I don't think they were criticising your food, just suggesting their own kid had overdone it.

always2ndbest · 20/05/2018 21:58

I agree with your other half, they were trying to reassure you that it wasn't a bug and therefore not to worry about your children catching it and getting ill. I think you are over reacting slightly. Even though you served all the sweet and sugary food, as parents they still had the option of whether their kids could eat it or not and how much they ate, so if they got sick from over eating, it's not your fault. Forget it, don't take it personally, sounds like you had a lovely weekend. Don't let this spoil it.

Original poster
Loopytiles · 20/05/2018 21:59

It doesn’t reassure - primary age DC with no history of vomiting don’t vomit due to overeating, they are far more likely to vomit because they have a bug, and DN’s sibling was sick 36 hours earlier. The DN who was sick is doesn’t have any health issues or history of illness due to food.

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FullOfJellyBeans · 20/05/2018 22:02

I wouldn't read too much into it, I can see why you're annoyed - especially the e-numbers bit was unnecessary especially if they have form for criticising the food served (why not just say "they ate too much of your delicious food"). On the other hand I definitely wouldn't rise to it it's not worth your energy.

dailyshite · 20/05/2018 22:03

My DS has been sick from eating too much junk food Confused

I think you're overthinking this...

ThatHippyDippyShit · 20/05/2018 22:04

YABU for using the word nibbles.

Envy
honeysucklejasmine · 20/05/2018 22:04

It's bollocks though, as you say. It's obviously a bug.

SavoyCabbage · 20/05/2018 22:05

I think you are over analysing it.

Original poster
Loopytiles · 20/05/2018 22:06

Yes, admit “Nibbles” is an U word and actually = Pringles.

OP posts:
Pastaagain78 · 20/05/2018 22:06

I think they were trying unsuccessfully to reassure you. They probably are trying To reassure themselves it wasn’t a bug when all the evidence points to it being a bug. They may be embarrassed they misjudged the sickness with their DC1.

Original poster
Loopytiles · 20/05/2018 22:08

The DN who was sick does not have history of sickness - bugs or food. DN attends lots of parties and is used to sugary food. DN didn’t eat any more than any of the other DC, in fact ate much less and was complaining of tummy pain.

OP posts:
Fruitcorner123 · 20/05/2018 22:13

Chances are it was a bug as her sibling was also poorly 36 hrs before. Agree they were probably trying to reassure you. I hope you don't get ill. I think you are reading too much into the message.

BackforGood · 20/05/2018 22:14

YABU.
As your dh has already explained to you, they were trying to reassure it they don't think it was a bug that might get passed on to your dc.
There's no pleasing some people though, is there?

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 20/05/2018 22:16

I think the e numbers comment was rude. It does imply that you fed their kids junk. They must know that if one child was ill before they even visited, it is a bug and not your food. I'd be less keen to make such an effort for them in future.

Original poster
Loopytiles · 20/05/2018 22:19

Them hoping (against all the odds and evidence) that it wasn’t a bug doesn't mean it wasn’t a bug and IMO implies criticism of the food served.

And why the need to talk about specific foods? The only e numbers served were in the cake. DN had a small slice.

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AreWeDoingThisNow · 20/05/2018 22:20

So one DC was sick before the food, and one after, but they think it's more likely the second one ate 'too many e numbers' than a bug? Bullshit.

It's a bug.

We had one over Xmas where each family member was sick exactly once (except FIL, he was sick twice, the drama llama), and felt rubbish for 36 hours after. I wouldn't normally put one vomit down to a bug, but given that it got 8 people over the course of a week plus it definitely was.

Original poster
Loopytiles · 20/05/2018 22:20

I don’t mind the DNs having a bug, we were informed of the facts on Fri and decided to take the risk. After making a big effort with the food I do mind the very rude text, whatever the motivation.

OP posts:
thegreatbeyond · 20/05/2018 22:24

I honestly wouldn't think anything of it. They ate lots of party food, kids do, so what?

Bet they had a great time :)

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 20/05/2018 22:25

How is your fault. I'm sure you didn't force this food down the child's throat and I'm.even more sure that their parents are big enough and ugly enough to supervise what their children are eating.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 20/05/2018 22:26

Are you usually only sick once with a bug? I don't think it was rude at all, sometimes kids do vomit after eating a lot of party food. Equally it could have been over excitement, to much running around in the sun or any other things.

LovingLola · 20/05/2018 22:26

Am officially withered now with all the royal wedding posts....

Crispbutty · 20/05/2018 22:27

They aren’t criticising you at all. You are reading it wrong. They are just saying their kid was sick because he pigged out, not that there was anything wrong with the food.

Crispbutty · 20/05/2018 22:28

If anything it’s a back handed compliment that the child enjoyed the food!

MereDintofPandiculation · 20/05/2018 22:28

I think if anything it's saying that there was so much tempting food on offer that DN overate. I wouldn't regard that as a criticism of the food.

Original poster
Loopytiles · 20/05/2018 22:31

Yes, plenty of bugs are gone after one bout of puking.

DN didn’t “pig out”: I served lunch and dinner. With desserts, but not especially large portions. The DC who became poorly ate less of everything than the other DC.

DN wasn’t out in the sun long either as they were playing upstairs most of the time.

OP posts: