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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In laws implying my Royal Wedding food made their DC sick!

65 replies

Loopytiles · 20/05/2018 21:53

Invited BIL, SIL and their DC (primary school age) to watch the royal wedding on TV, play with our DC etc, and stay overnight at ours. Spent ages on Fri eve/first thing saturday making nice food: posh sandwiches, nibbles and biscuits for lunch/ceremony watching, also bought a handmade, iced cake from the local baker. Later (6.30ish) served a hot, home made evening meal for both adults and DC, and ice cream for DCs’ desert.

On Fri they’d been in touch to say one of their DC had vomited first thing, gave us the option of cancelling, we presumed DC had a bug and said fine to still come if DC well enough.

DC were all in bed around 9pm. At 10ish last night their younger DC woke up and was sick.

This evening BIL sent a text saying DC was now fine and “we don't think it was a bug as DC was back eating and fine today. Maybe DC had too many cakes, crisps and e numbers during the day”

I think the text was really rude and am offended and pissed off. Feel it implies that my food was junk!DH thinks the text was just seeking to reassure and that IABU.

So as not to drip-feed, they are sometimes anti-sugar, in other family members’ houses (eg if desert is served) but also have lots more sugary stuff and junk food in their house - for adults and DC - than we do. There have been some past incidences of them putting DC vomiting down to “overeating” or “something that disagreed with them” and just turning up with unwell DC without letting us know. This time is different as they did notify us so we knew DC likely had a bug.

OP posts:
Original poster
Loopytiles · 20/05/2018 22:32

So most posters seem to agree with DH - bah!

Perhaps am just overreacting because of their past comments about food / my hosting!

OP posts:
User467 · 20/05/2018 22:34

I actually read that text differently. They're not trying to reassure OP, they're trying to reassure themselves that they were right to take a child with a vomiting bug to someone's house (albeit with OPs permission) by stressing that it was the food that caused it. Of course it wasn't, it was the bug.

User467 · 20/05/2018 22:36

And I find it a bit passive aggressive to be so specific about the food. It definitely sounds to me like they're suggesting it was the type of food served that caused the problem. I don't think you're being unreasonable

5foot5 · 20/05/2018 22:37

Crikey are you always this touchy and quick to take offence?

WhatAMessTheBad · 20/05/2018 22:38

YABU for muddling up deserts and desserts. But otherwise, I really wouldn't worry.

Flisspaps · 20/05/2018 22:39

Tell them it's a shame, perhaps next time they should better monitor how much their DC eats if they've eaten so much they're sick and maybe even not risk spreading the bug that actually caused it by stating they'll stay home

Original poster
Loopytiles · 20/05/2018 22:39

No, but am touchy this weekend after making a lot of effort and so on.

And perhaps with these in laws who have in the past made what I perceive to be rude comments about my food and hosting!

OP posts:
sciencemad · 20/05/2018 22:40

It all sounds terribly strained and stressy and uptight the whole thing. All of it.

I think you're right that their kids had a bug. I think I'd laugh at the e-number text and ask them to remove the stick from their arses.

I think you need to chill out as well.

It doesn't sound like anyone had any fun at all because you don't seem to like each other much.

UrgentScurryfunge · 20/05/2018 22:41

Two children being sick within 36 hours could well be a bug. We had a bug in the family a while back. Child 1, ill once then back to normal, 24h later me, more severe, 36h later, DH ill, followed by child 2 appearing to sicken then having an incident 24 hours later after having rallied then being fine soon after emptying his system. In isolation, it may well have been just one of those things, but going down in a chain within 48 hours is typical of a bug not over-indulgence.
There's a lot of unseasonal bugs around at the moment too.

If they'd put it down to being excitable, overtired, and over-indulgent, that would sound much less critical than the reference to e-numbers.

sciencemad · 20/05/2018 22:41

Stop making effort for rude people.

Stop it.

Next time a royal gets married sink a tequila and eat a hot dog on your own in front of the telly. Screw the in laws.

Stop caring about hosting. It means nothing.

Original poster
Loopytiles · 20/05/2018 22:42

We did actually have great fun on the day, and do (on my part anyway, can’t speak for the ILs!) like each other.

But at times there are strains, yes . Families are hard sometimes.

OP posts:
MyKingdomForBrie · 20/05/2018 22:42

‘Very rude text’?! Christ you’re being so over sensitive.

Original poster
Loopytiles · 20/05/2018 22:43

I like that suggestion sciencemad and may not wait for a royal wedding to try it!

Or perhaps will serve the DC some shots next time.

OP posts:
Original poster
Loopytiles · 20/05/2018 22:45

Yes, IMO it was rude to reference “e numbers” about food a host (me!) served and suggest the type of food served made DC ill.

OP posts:
MumofBoysx2 · 20/05/2018 22:47

Well if there were lots of cakes, crisps and e numbers then they are hardly having a go, they are just stating a fact and trying to say that it isn't a contagious bug ready to sweep through the household. I'm sure they're not judging you, just trying to reassure you!

Original poster
Loopytiles · 20/05/2018 22:48

There was just the one cake with e numbers, and a tube of pringles.

OP posts:
sciencemad · 20/05/2018 22:48

Come round my house loopy and we'll get shitfaced together, cheers!

Original poster
Loopytiles · 20/05/2018 22:51
Wine
OP posts:
BackforGood · 20/05/2018 22:52

Not really sure why you've asked, as it seems you only want to be told you are right Confused

elephantscanring · 20/05/2018 22:53

It was a bug. Hope you don’t all come down with it. Fwiw, I would have asked them not to come when they said their dc had been sick.

Sounds like your hosting was lovely, and their comment re the E numbers was rude.

Text back, so you took your dc here with a vomiting bug, thanks. Don’t blame my catering!

Original poster
Loopytiles · 20/05/2018 22:54

No, I have acknowledged that most posters agree with my H and think I am overreacting. But am still in the process of overreacting!

OP posts:
Original poster
Loopytiles · 20/05/2018 22:55

We knowingly took the risk of a bug, as we wanted to see them all. Am fine with that.

OP posts:
FullOfJellyBeans · 20/05/2018 22:58

I definitely agree the e-numbers comment was rude.

DazzlingMilton · 20/05/2018 22:59

They feel guilty because they know that everyone there will probably come down with it now so they’re deflecting to try to cover it up

FullOfJellyBeans · 20/05/2018 23:00

Not really sure why you've asked, as it seems you only want to be told you are right Did you not read the thread? OP has been totally reasonable and acknowledged what people have said. doesnt mean she has to' suddenly change her point of view (especially given she knows the people and we don't)