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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think parents really should put some clothing on kids in public?

172 replies

somesetmeadow · 20/05/2018 08:47

At the beach, water fountains in parks and so on, there’s always at least one parent who lets their children charge around without a stitch on.

I just find it really inappropriate. Prepared for a flaming but I do!

OP posts:
ConciseandNice · 20/05/2018 17:14

My kids were and are always naked when small and as for sending mixed messages, at some point- usually around 5(or older) they want to be clothed. In any case my adult sons don’t wander round flashing people or other inappropriate behaviour.

CheeseAndTomSandwich · 20/05/2018 17:23

My husbands uncle is a paedophile. He has served time for what he did, however, there is absolutely nothing stopping him from driving to a beach or park or whatever and sitting watching your naked kids charge around whilst being sat there looking like a "nice old man". You can't tell from looking at him what disgusting things he's done. My kids, even my eldest at 12, are NOT allowed to be without clothing in public for this very reason (and I don't mean neck to toe so let's not get pedantic).

MotherforkingShirtballs · 20/05/2018 17:32

Abuse requires access and opportunity. I'm supervising my DC at the splash park/beach so any "perves" hanging around aren't at all likely to get access or opportunity therefore - to me - it doesn't matter if my toddler is naked for whatever reason. Any paedophiles hanging around are going to stick mental images in their wank-bank whether the children around them are clothed or not, it is impossible to know or control what people are thinking so why get so paranoid about it?

00100001 · 20/05/2018 17:34

And there's nothing stopping him sitting and watching FULLY CLOTHED KIDS.

a child's nakedness is not relevant.

It's not as if a paedophile goes to a park, takes a look round and goes "Hmmmm no naked kids today. I'll pop off home." Confused

IncyWincyMouseRat · 20/05/2018 17:34

Meh. Not sure I felt any reason to wear clothes until I was about 8. Some of my fondest memories involve naked paddling as a small child. I really hope I can maintain that sense of innocence and spontaneity with my DC.

VioletCharlotte · 20/05/2018 17:35

Mother my worry would be more they were taking photos of naked children and sharing them online.Of course, they may well take photos of little children in swim suits as well, and although this is also horrible, it doesn't feel quite as horrendous as naked images.

00100001 · 20/05/2018 17:36

If you keep an eye out on MN there's a serial wee troll who gets off in the IDEA that children might wet themselves.
Doas this mean that we shouldn't use MN for advice about toilet training?? Because paedophile might be reading the thread?!?

corythatwas · 20/05/2018 17:37

Cheese, do we have any evidence at all that your husband's uncle's disgusting fantasies are any different or any less disgusting if he is watching a child in a swimming costume?

Do we know that a naked toddler would be impacted in a different way from a toddler in a swimming costume by the revolting thoughts in his head?

I still spend half my summers in a country where received opinion is that a small child naked is not in any way offensive. There is absolutely no evidence that the paedophile problem is greater there. And by the time they reach the age of 4 or 5 children start covering up naturally, because that is the custom. Doesn't cause any problems at all.

VioletCharlotte · 20/05/2018 17:42

00100001
There are a lot more around then you may think sadly. Some of the operations Police have carried out to trap child abusers online have led to the arrest of thousands of arrest. I'm
not a "paedophile in every corner" type at all, but I wouldn't want my children running round naked for fear of their images ending up online.

I

CheeseAndTomSandwich · 20/05/2018 17:53

Hi @corythatwas. His uncles fantasies may or may not revolve around nakedness, however, in my opinion a naked child is more vulnerable (from anything really) than a clothed child. All I know is what he did to those children, boys actually, was revolting and to give anyone like him the opportunity to see a child unclothed should be considered carefully because you just don't know who's near and what they're thinking. Having a paedo so close to home has made me very cautious and I appreciate that not everyone has the same view and that's fine.

corythatwas · 20/05/2018 18:00

But how is a naked child more vulnerable?

corythatwas · 20/05/2018 18:02

Surely the child that's vulnerable is the child a paedophile has access to?

GreenTulips · 20/05/2018 18:08

So would you live happy for a naked photo of your child to be shared online with the time and date and location of your child to X amount of weirdos? It takes one photo to be shared to hundreds of men and woman who love this stuff - one may just take a fact to your child so they become a target

CheeseAndTomSandwich · 20/05/2018 18:10

@corythatwas

I guess in my opinion I just feel that if a person like that has seen a child's body then that makes them stay in the mind of the peado more so. Of course it can happen with them being clothed too, I'm not saying it doesn't. But they'd remember that child more so because they're naked.

And if you were with your child, clothed or not, and you saw a man (or woman) looking at your child in a way that potentially made you feel awkward, you'd remove your child immediately, but the person looking didn't have access, they were just close.

These are my thoughts only and it's what I believe.

MotherforkingShirtballs · 20/05/2018 18:11

That's ridiculous levels of paranoia right there, greentulips. Please cite me some criminal cases in which paedophiles used an anonymous photograph to aid them in snatching a specific child?

Dietcokebreak1 · 20/05/2018 18:15

Saying a child's pants area needs to be covered out of sight of perverts is agreeing that that area is in someway sexual. It's not they're children that's why they don't need to cover up in public. The pedophiles don't care if the kid has pants on, they are attracted to children, not just specifically their bits.

The person that said it's weird to rub sun cream on their child's genitals, that's very sad. It's just a body part used to weeing. Nothing else, they're children. I have no issue rubbing cream on my kids bum and would have no issue putting any sort of necessary cream on their girl or boy bits.

We need to become less prudish about nudity as a society not more. It's this purdishness that is stopping people breastfeed and making people have low body confidence; as the only nakedness they see if the 'approved' airbrushed nakedness of celebrities.

Pinga · 20/05/2018 18:15

Im not offended by it but I do think its a bit unwise.
There have been several incidents involving peadophiles at our local park recently so kids running around through the splash pad with no clothes on doesnt seem like the best idea to me.
Plus a naked little boy the other day emptied his bladder into the fountain. Totally put me off going near it as the water is recylced (admittedly highly dilute) I think he wee'd into the sand pit too. Plus on a hot day sun burn seems rather likely. Even with cream - not exactly easy to cover an entire body (including a willy!)

00100001 · 20/05/2018 18:25

greentulips

Same question to you, but just take out the word naked.

"So would you live happy for a naked photo of your child to be shared online with the time and date and location of your child to X amount of weirdos? It takes one photo to be shared to hundreds of men and woman who love this stuff - one may just take a fact to your child so they become a target"

moofolk · 20/05/2018 18:34

I love seeing naked children running round having fun! I love how free they are, their joy and yes I love seeing their beautiful, naked bodies.

It's not pervy.

Once they are older and self conscious then obviously not. But it's a bit sad when it happens; the loss of that pureness, of innocence and freedom.

My eldest (9) would definitely not be happy to be naked in public. I'm not sure when the shift happens and I did get my 7-year-old to put trunks on when water fighting on a very hot day recently. It felt weird though, making him cover up, but not sure why.

Bluelonerose · 20/05/2018 18:36

In the back garden yes in public no.
Someone on my street puts their paddling pool in the front garden and let's her kids in there naked. It's bizzare.

GreenTulips · 20/05/2018 18:38

Same question to you

Good question

DDs photo was shared online she was dressed and it was written over with something seriously disgusting. By a known local pervert. This was shared and DD was then contacted by several males who believed she was 'up for it'

Police were involved and turns out he had a name and shame site to out perverts which he used to set up a sharing ring for such photos. He had hundreds of photos and videos, and a very unhealthy obsession with young teens and older children.

So for this reason I do not share any photos of my children online.

You think it's harmless but it isn't.

VioletCharlotte · 20/05/2018 18:56

It's not just about your child being abducted. It's about whether you're ok with a naked image of your child being shared online by a paedophile with others paedophiles?

00100001 · 20/05/2018 19:00

So, your fully clothed child's photo was used by paedophiles.

Which is exactly my point. A naked child running round at the beach is in no more danger than a fully clothed child.

So to suggest that it is somehow indecent for a toddler to run free or that a paedophile will only target the naked child is ridiculous and hyperbole

You're either concerned a paedophile is taking photos or you're not. Nakedness is irrelevant!

MotherforkingShirtballs · 20/05/2018 19:02

A photograph is not a flesh and blood child. IF someone took a photo without my knowledge and IF they then shared it online, I'd be none the wiser so why would it bother me? And IF this unlikely scenario had happened, they don't know my child's name, address, school, schedule, etc so the chances of them rocking up to my garden and stealing them away are less than slim to none. Yes, there are bad people in the world but that's no reason to curtail perfectly normal childhood activities on the off-chance that they might give a passing paedophile a hard-on.