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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you feel insecure if your OH went to a topless beach?

75 replies

Frosty66612 · 19/05/2018 08:55

My best friend was telling me last night about her recent holiday to Ibiza with her OH. She said they went to a beach by their hotel and about 90% of the women were all topless sunbathing so she made her and her OH go straight back to the hotel to sunbathe on their hotel balcony instead. I don’t judge her for this as we all have our own insecurities, but just curious if that sort of scenario would bother the majority of others in relationships too? She said her issue was not wanting her OH to see women with better bodies than hers. It genuinely wouldn’t be an issue for me if my OH went somewhere like this but maybe I’m in the minority

OP posts:
formerbabe · 19/05/2018 08:59

I wouldn't give a shit.

cloudchaos · 19/05/2018 09:01

No, and I'm usually quite jealous. We went on holiday recently to a beach similar to this and everyone was reassuringly normal looking! I think your friend had quite an extreme response.

Effendi · 19/05/2018 09:05

Not not at all.

pinkhorse · 19/05/2018 09:06

No not one bit!

CasperGutman · 19/05/2018 09:06

Would your OH feel insecure if you went to a beach where the men were topless?

HildaZelda · 19/05/2018 09:09

Your friend is pathetic and her OH is as bad for going along with it.

Original poster
Frosty66612 · 19/05/2018 09:09

@Casper neither myself or my OH would give two hoots about seeing either sex topless. I don’t think my friend’s OH would have cared at all either but she has a real issue with it. She said there was a woman rubbing sun cream into her boobs by the hotel pool one day and she made him look in the other direction until she was done

OP posts:
artggghhh · 19/05/2018 09:10

I bet most people would feel a bit weird about it, and it probably would bring out at least some body insecurities.

You'd hope though that they'd research their holiday destination better, or just take a deep breath and try to get used to it.

If your partner would ogle and make you feel bad, then you're in trouble anyway IMO.

GalwayWayfarer · 19/05/2018 09:11

@HildaZelda but harsh, it's not really the fault of women that we're fed a lifelong diet of hideous insecurity and body anxiety.

It wouldn't bother me at all, personally.

PsychedelicSheep · 19/05/2018 09:14

God if didn’t want my boyfriend to see women with better bodies than me I’d have to lock him in the house all day!

Your friend is BU and a bit controlling.

metalmum15 · 19/05/2018 09:15

My dh wouldn't want to go anywhere near a topless beach tbh.

mustbemad17 · 19/05/2018 09:16

Not at all. If you are that insecure in your relationship that yiu don't want your OH seeing the other sex naked then to me you have a problem.

mishfish · 19/05/2018 09:16

Last time I was in Ibiza with my DP I was 7 months pregnant with our third and sunbathing topless with all the other woman. I think I’d have felt differently if he was openly leering. Perhaps he has a bit of a wondering eye?

Peanutbuttercups21 · 19/05/2018 09:17

I'd have no problem with it, but I am Continental Grin

Used to sunbathe topless myself, back in the 80s

astoundedgoat · 19/05/2018 09:18

We generally go on holiday to the same (beachy, hot) country every year and most of the beaches in the area we go to are naked beaches anyway. So no.

I'm sad for your friend that she has such severe anxiety and body issues that she went to Ibiza and refused to go to the beach.

It reminds me of the Nanny in Nancy Mitford's The Blessing who refused to eat, or let the child eat, the incredible food on offer at the family's house in the south of France and sat in the nursery cooking floury potatoes and "a nice bit of ham" instead of touching that nasty rich foreign food.

TheDrinksAreOnMe · 19/05/2018 09:18

I wouldn’t give a shit

metalmum15 · 19/05/2018 09:19

Does her oh have a habit of eyeing up other women, that may be why she feels self conscious and doesn't want to give him any extra opportunities?

ilovesooty · 19/05/2018 09:21

So she went on holiday without knowing women were topless on the beach?

Her husband actually goes along with this behaviour?

HildaZelda · 19/05/2018 09:21

@Galwaywayfarer, it's more the fact that she's obviously quite controlling. OP mentions in her second post that a woman by the pool was putting suncream on her boobs and the friend made her OH look in the other direction. Unless he was being massively leery, I do think she's being OTTAWA.

HildaZelda · 19/05/2018 09:21
  • OTT
Sallystyle · 19/05/2018 09:22

Yes, I would feel a bit insecure. I don't think that makes me pathetic. I am not ashamed of it and we all have insecurities. How insecure I would feel would really depend on how I am feeling about my own body at the time.

However, if we booked a holiday where topless beaches were around then I would deal with my insecurities myself and not expect my husband to have to leave the beach.

Original poster
Frosty66612 · 19/05/2018 09:22

@metal I don’t know him very well and my friend has never said as such. I know she was like this with her last partner too. I’m a bit perplexed why she picked somewhere like a busy touristy part of Ibiza for a holiday if she wasn’t wanting attractive young women with their boobs out to feature. She said she hadn’t been expecting there to be so many though

OP posts:
poopsqueak · 19/05/2018 09:23

Nope, wouldn't be bothered at all.

Ansumpasty · 19/05/2018 09:23

I’d be secretly jealous if there were gorgeous women there but I wouldn’t dream of sending him to his room! I’d probably deal with it by taking my top off.

SoapOnARoap · 19/05/2018 09:25

Wow!! She sounds insecure

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