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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why nobody told me about post pregnancy body

141 replies

Muse84 · 18/05/2018 21:47

Maybe I was just naive

I'm talking about the whole body changes here (down below... Let's not even go there!)

Pre pregnancy, I honestly thought that the extent of my worries would be a saggy belly (fixable with diet and exercise) and possibly saggy boobs (manageable with bra)

I'm lucky that I don't have a saggy belly and no stretch marks. Thank you universe.

But my god, my hips are wider, my ribcage is wider. My boobs currently stick out either side on my sides, if facing mirror.

Basically, I look like a frump

Why did nobody tell me about the general width expansion????!!!

I know this is superficial, but I'm so sad and tired of feeling like a big wide frump. Clothes don't sit on my like they used to (All I see is boob and hip. My grandmother, basically) and I genuinely don't feel as if I recognise my old self anymore

It's a little hard to take with crap post pregnancy hair and massive dark circles.

I'm just a bit sad. Sigh

Moan over. Sorry! I know it's a minor worry in the grand scheme of things

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 19/05/2018 23:23

Wait till menopause! OMG! It's a real struggle to keep from putting on weight round the belly.

throwawayagain · 19/05/2018 23:54

First baby - took 12 months to be 'me' again.
Second baby - 5 months
Third baby - 3 months (I was ill, but back in my clothes).
3 BF babies. No stretch marks. Perky breasts to boot.
The first one was a long, uphill battle. Doing hundreds of crunches with no gain. I felt destroyed.

Be kind to yourself. First baby bamboozles your body! WineThanks

bridgetosomewhere · 20/05/2018 09:18

My ribs never went back so none of my bras or dresses fit

I have a tiny overhang on my c section scar but didn’t get any stretch marks which was remarkable as I was so big with ds.

I’m now back to nearly 8 stone as I was pre dc but that’s only because I follow a low carb diet. As soon as I start eating them again my stomach comes back!

I have a dark top lip (the skin is brown) and the hair around my temples came out and never grew back in fully.

I can’t sneeze without crossing my legs or bounce on a trampoline - and I did my exercises religiously! Pay.

Fintress · 20/05/2018 13:35

I'm approaching menopause. I find the body changes I'm experiencing now way worse than post pregnancy ones.

Ain't that the bloody truth 😖.

Until I read other's experiences on here re ribcage I had no idea it was a thing, I just thought it was me!

ragged · 20/05/2018 18:33

My only peri-menop change is my eyes (now need specs) ... maybe ears, too (not as good as they were).

A childhood friend (1 month younger than me) is both legally blind & deaf due to a genetic problem. I feel exceedingly grateful not to have such problems.

Bodicea · 20/05/2018 19:23

On pregnancy no three have done it both ways - section and undercarriage destroyed.
Belly is a mess but I never had a washboard stomach so it wasn’t a major loss to me.
My hips went wider each time which was a huge shock as I always had small hips/bum. Luckily went back. Praying they do this time.
I think my ribs went back to pre pregnancy size.
I get loads of skin tags each time. This time I’ve got more around my eyes which I don’t think I can get removed. Skin pigmentation is worse this time as heavily pregnant in the summer. Hoping it will fade.
Boobs fared ok despite breast feeding both over a year.
So all in all relatively happy but wondering if the third will be pushing my luck.

Ansumpasty · 20/05/2018 19:48

The soft, squishy stomach that looks permanently bloated. I had a hard stomach before and hadn’t ever felt one as ‘dough-like’ as the one I now have to walk round with. My youngest is 3 and it has shown no signs of going away. I’m a size 8 so not like I’m fat, and even when I lost weight and was a 6 for a few months, it was still just as soft. I can’t wear tight tops

ragged · 20/05/2018 19:51

I used to have lots of bloating problems in my early 20s. So much so that I gave boyfriend a scare. I wonder why? Not since I immigrated to Britain (I think).

Amanduh · 20/05/2018 20:02

The ribcage is something I didn’t know and NOBODY has ever mentioned so thanks OP! Stomach/boobs/dress size are back to pre preg size but they are NOT the same, hips are weird, ribcage is just bigger and different! Nothing fits the same.

Cannockcanring · 20/05/2018 20:07

I wasn't prepared for the csection overhang sad. Now I've had two and I don't think it'll ever leave.
I'm afraid you're probably right, exercise doesn't touch the baggy fold I have left from 2 very large babies and c sections. Got fed up of friends telling me exercise would fix it. The worst was going swimming and feeling it billowing around inside my swimsuit without gravity pulling down :-0!

Shaboohshoobah1 · 20/05/2018 20:15

My boobs disappeared once I stopped breastfeeding- I’m now a double A, which is crap. I’m thinner now though than before I had children so I suppose if i put on some weight they might at least go to an A Confused
I had 2 c-sections but didn’t get any overhang at all (you can’t really even see my scar) so for any pregnant readers who may have to have a section, it doesn’t always have to mean overhang. My stomach looks exactly the same as it did before kids.

LeighaJ · 20/05/2018 20:26

I guess I was lucky I learned some of these things in my school health class. Along with hip widening I also learned about the changes to stomach, breasts, and vagina plus stretch marks.

My maternal grandmother told me how much it hurts and that my foot size might change permanently.

I learned that woman sometimes shit themselves during delivery from reading the vagina monologues.

Obviously what each woman gets may vary.

I have a weird line that's not a stretch mark that runs down the middle of my stomach and no idea what it is or if it will go away. Hmm

I was surprised how well things bounced back downstairs since I tend to heal slowly and had 3 tears.

Mousefunky · 20/05/2018 20:42

I got used to it eventually. The stretch marks were worst with DC1 but thankfully faded very, very quickly to the extent when I was heavily pregnant with DC2 (only a 15 month age gap between the two) the midwife commented on how few stretch marks I had. I was covered with DC1 and they were bright purple all over my hips and front right up to just beneath my breasts. They’re barely noticeable now, eight years on. My belly will always be a bit saggy at the bottom unless I get surgery, it’s loose skin and I can’t change it but I’ve sort of learnt to get over it and live with it over time. My breasts are definitely saggier now post three DC and BFing but I seriously try not to think about it. Wide hips aren’t a bad thing, curves are sexy.

My DP still finds me sexy and I don’t loathe myself so to me, that’s all that matters. My foof completely recovered after a year and is now as tight as it was pre-DC. Just did lots of kegals.

Mousefunky · 20/05/2018 20:43

The brown line down the centre is the linea nigra. I still have mine too but it’s faded a lot.

IDontLikeZombies · 20/05/2018 20:46

I completely changed shape - I went from a straight up and down B cup to a very curvy E cup - I quite like it, which is a good job as its been years since I've been pregnant so I imagine I'm going to stay like this. I did go via a potato shaped for many long months and it was miserable.
I also got the pigment on my face but its under my cheek bones so that worked out quite well too Grin

It took me about a year to feel normal again. and I think that was a combination of weight loss and getting used to the new shape.

IDontLikeZombies · 20/05/2018 20:49

Pilates is amazing, by the way. I don't think it changed my body shape wildly but it totally changed the way I carried myself which improved the whole picture dramatically.

TheKitchenWitch · 20/05/2018 20:58

I think it's like with your body during pregnancy, every woman is different. I have no idea what you're talking about re ribcage and hips (I'm amazed!) - I am exactly the same size I was pre-kids. My feet, however, are slightly smaller (how is that even possible?), and my boobs aren't as perky but then that probably has as much to do with age as anything.
The scars from my c-sections do cause a slight overhang, but nothing you'd really notice (I never had a very flat stomach).
I think it would have terrified me if I'd known ALL the things which could happen post-baby!

Tortycat · 21/05/2018 08:22

2dc and 2 sections. No overhang which is good. No damage to my undercarriage. No stretch marks which I'm amazed by. Generally back into my size 8 clothes, feet still same.

BUT i have changed shape completely. My waist has disappeared, ribs expanded and boobs have shrunk (even though still bf youngest at 20 months). I used to be petite all over but now look like a matchbox from the front and potato from the side, and my nipples now look like long droopy bullets. And loads more moles and skin tags! Had kids late so menopause will probably add to my woes soon Sad

wasthataburp · 21/05/2018 13:41

no one ever told me your rib cage is still bigger after. makes sense to me now as i have a 10month old and its my tops that still seem a bit small and also my bras, not the cup but round my back etc. trousers im back into old size but the tops i struggle with.

also i hate the little pouch where my c section scar was. no one told me about that - thats what i hate the most!

badg3r · 21/05/2018 13:48

After both my dc I felt 80% me again after around 4 months but the other 20% took a year or so. Your rib cage may have not stopped going down yet, there is hope! I am about an inch wider everywhere now I reckon, than before DC1.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 21/05/2018 14:00

Have committed crime of not reading full thread but for those of you with wider ribcage

I went to a womens health physio after birth of DTs and she picked up on my flared RC and said it was reversible at least partially with exercises whuch I now do religiously. Might be worth checking out what a good physio says before chucking clothes!

Keeptellingmyselfitsaphase · 21/05/2018 14:46

I've lost 2.5 stone and feel really positive and slimmer but can into size 12 like pre pregnancy.... No. Even 14 is tight and im wearing some size 16. I can only put this down to bigger hips because i dont feel a 16 of that makes sense Confused

Ds came out shoulder down. I feel he made a little pocket in my rectum where the last bit of poo likes to hide. So as i wipe and think ive finished i haven't!!!!

Working on pelvic floor which helps.

I've not got round to tackling 14 months of bushy overgrowth.

Keeptellingmyselfitsaphase · 21/05/2018 14:47

Oh my piles go up and down. Wonderful

Pinksta · 21/05/2018 14:47

You created a human. Your body changes are testament to that so you should be proud of them. I know that sounds trite but it is true. Giving life is beauty, not some filtered Instagram ideal.

Aworldofmyown · 21/05/2018 15:01

I have larger feet too!!! You do get over it!!

I've got 3 children and just accept my new rather spread out shape!!!!

Highly recommend doing lots of core strength exercises though - really helps get everything back kind of where it was before around the middle.