To wonder why nobody told me about post pregnancy body

[Muse84]

Maybe I was just naive

I'm talking about the whole body changes here (down below... Let's not even go there!)

Pre pregnancy, I honestly thought that the extent of my worries would be a saggy belly (fixable with diet and exercise) and possibly saggy boobs (manageable with bra)

I'm lucky that I don't have a saggy belly and no stretch marks. Thank you universe.

But my god, my hips are wider, my ribcage is wider. My boobs currently stick out either side on my sides, if facing mirror.

Basically, I look like a frump

Why did nobody tell me about the general width expansion????!!!

I know this is superficial, but I'm so sad and tired of feeling like a big wide frump. Clothes don't sit on my like they used to (All I see is boob and hip. My grandmother, basically) and I genuinely don't feel as if I recognise my old self anymore

It's a little hard to take with crap post pregnancy hair and massive dark circles.

I'm just a bit sad. Sigh

Moan over. Sorry! I know it's a minor worry in the grand scheme of things

After ds I still looked 8mth pregnant so never went anywhere without him to stop people asking how much longer, as soon as the six week check I was off to weight watchers. Lost all the weight plus more then fell with dd never gained much at all. Main body shape change is love handles which I never had before. I never had good pelvic floor before but have to clench before I cough or sneeze now 😢 religiously did pelvic floors (still do) no stretch marks from pregnancy (some pre pregnant) used bio oil morning and night.

I didn’t even mention the muscle separation, I haven’t ever seen anyone about it, it is better than it was, but there is still a slight gap there. I really tried not to “eat for two “ but the nausea was horrible and nothing but fatty carbs made it go away.

Honestly, I think people do tell you before you have kids but as a FTM you do kind of just bury your head in the sand. I'm one of 4 so my mum takes great joy in telling me all about various post pregnancy problems she had.

I always had low self esteem about my appearance before having kids and honestly I am much more confident in my appearance since having kids. I had Bell's Palsy when pregnant with DS2 and thankfully I regained full movement in my face by 4 weeks afterwards. But having a facial disfigurement, even only temporarily, really changed my attitude towards my body and appearance. I realised there was never anything wrong with how I look.

I'd imagine it's different for everyone, much as pregnancy is?

Definitely nobody ever told me about the feet thing! I was already a 42! Now I'm a 43! Impossible! Never should have stood up during pregnancy!

But actually, my body changed similarly when I hit 30. Metabolism just slowed and I couldn't eat without gaining weight any more. Hips broadened, boobs bigger and a bit lower. Nobody mentioned this might happen or I would've eaten less and done more exercise in proportion to aging! Luckily I care a bit less too.

I think age is a factor.

I had my first in my early 20s and everything pinged back into place so quickly that the baggy pants I’d brought to hospital to go home in were falling down.

I was the thinnest I ever was a year after dc1.

But having dc2 a few years later and older- that ruined my body! I’ve never got within 2 stones of my pre pregnancy weight and it was over a decade ago!

Can’t sneeze if I’m sitting crossed legged.

I even picked up allergies from a pregnancy.

Not to mention the psychological trauma from non consensual practices that effects my ability to have heath treatments ongoing.

It took me a good 2 years to properly lose all the weight and feel back to myself (which isn't Heidi Klum or anything - just a size 10/12). This was partly because my mum kept telling me BFing just makes the weight "fall off you" so for the first year I just sat around, feeling shattered, shovelling cake in and weight for the miracle weight loss to occur. I remember being shocked at how fat my arse & thighs had got.

However once DS slept better I started running for the first time in my life and actually ended up in better shape than I was before I had him. For the first time in
My life I actually got up early 3-4 times a week took N running! It's amazing what desperately wanting some time out of the house will drive you to! Am 35 weeks with DC2 so hopefully I'll be able to do it again.

Had an elective CS so downstairs all OK, but if you are suffering from incontinence issues it's a really good idea to have session with a women's health Physio. I am seeing one 2x a week for SPD and she says she hates hearing of women pissing themselves as often it's quite easily
Fixed (but the standard pelvic floor exercises are not always effective).

Yes my feet grew a size and stayed that size, bizarre.

My rib cage and hips did the same and never went back. Perhaps the most absurd bit is that my rib cage also is now wide/juts out under my boobs so bras don’t fit properly. I’m a bit barrel shaped. I’ve got used to it. But yes, I too expected it on the whole to go back, and it didn’t

Op 14 months on I have lost just over a stone from pre pregnancy weight give it time. As pp said healthy diet and fitness will bounce you back quicker than you think

Mine is absolutely awful. I exercise my socks off to no avail as well.

wow didn't realise the feet growing was a thing...just thought it was me!

Have a few friends who were narrow hipped and now are not - permanent change to hips, others who stayed the same shape.

Pelvic floor not fab but had some decent physio and partly it is just being overweight.

For those saying they missed pelvic floor damage because of CS, note well - most pelvic floor damage is from carrying the bub, not delivering, so do you pelvic floor exercises! and also note, second pregnancy is when pelvis issues most commonly present (a great reason to only have 1)..

I had that darkened pigment on my face (Forget the technical name for it ) that looked like a big dark superman logo branded across my forehead and eyes - lasted 2 years each time...v annnoying..

the pigment in my genital region also changed - much much darker, (ewverywhere). While it has lightened a little, some of the colour change has been permanent...

For those complaining of continence issues, you don’t need to put up with this, really you don’t. A pelvic toner is likely to work wonders. Yes, they are not cheap, but if you compare the cost against the benefits of not being slightly sad about it every day for the rest of your life it is a small price to pay. I recommend Kegel 8 ( and no, I don’t work for them!) it has lots of different programmes so you can concentrate on exactly your issue.

Failing that, get to a GP and ask for help. Pelvic floor exercises are often not done right. It makes me so cross that British women are just left post birth in this respect, in France they do so much more.

Please don’t suffer for being miserable!

Just to add - my shape change isn’t weight related. I’m currently lighter than I was when I booked for my first pregnancy. It’s that my hips and ribs have expanded and not gone back. Oh and my feet grew too - I’m a size 6 now and was a 4 before two kids

I didn't eat for two, people were commenting on my bump (small) right up to the point of birth. So it's unavoidable!

Continence - had a mild prolapse, pve so help but I forget/can't be bothered so only have myself to blame there

Equally important (or arguably more important?), shouldn't boys/men be educated about the post-pregnancy body and the changes that can occur in women after childbirth? Maybe - just maybe* - with a little more understanding, men wouldn't run into the arms of other women for the hills once their partners have given birth...

(*Eh, who am I kidding? )

my rib cage never went back and my feet are bigger.

I don't know what happened to my stomach.

I didn't put on any pregnancy weight with my second and was lighter after I gave birth than before I got pregnant (very seriously ill) but my stomach stuck out like it was still pregnant and never went back. I have now put on weight after 8 years of eating too much so have a fat layer on top of the sticking out stomach and look ridiculous. It really depresses me. I look about 7 months pregnant. I almost look forward to looking too old to be pregnant so people aren't left guessing.

6 months is nothing!!! Keep at the exercise and healthy eating.
I am 14 yrs post baby and my general body shape (front facing) has that pregnancy shape going out from under boobs to pubes! I’m not overweight but have never lost the general outline of a pregnant woman. I always say I look about 5 months pregnant in profile (my boobs are fine though).

Absolutely hear you.

I've had 5 c-sections.... and my belly looks like a war zone. Massive apron of skin/fat hanging over my c-section scar. It's truly hideous. Saving for a tummy tuck as don't want to live with this. I'm 32 and want to wear a bikini again

I looked exactly the same as pre pregnancy within weeks so was very lucky in that respect but honestly I’d swap my god awful recurring piles (child is 2) for a widened rib cage or bigger hips any day.

I am almost 9 months post partum, i had a 'boyish shape before but now if say I'm pear shaped, my hips are wideband a lot of my fat gain went on my bum and upper legs, though they have toned up a fair bit now. Hair is thinner, feet are longer, I still have the pregnancy pigmentation thing on my face but it has lightened a fair amount, my boobs look like droopy half filled bags, my stomach is fatter but no wrinkly skin. I didn't get stretch marks except on my boobs. I got a lot of small red dot things appear on my abdomen during pregnancy and they are still there. I think I look considerably older now when before I looked much younger than my age. By far the worst is my under carriage, ds was a failed ventous, followed by forceps with episiotomy. He was 8.6lbs and his head is on the 99th centile. I have a moderate verging on severe prolapse of both bladder and bowel. The bladder issues are mostly ok now but I cannot empty my bowels at all, I have to manually evacuate myself as it gets stuck in the prolapse. I also get no urge to go at all and only know I need to go because the stools push my prolapse outside of my vagina and it's very very uncomfortable. I go to physio, I do my exercises, I have a ring pessarie and I bought a pelvic toner but it's still gradually getting worse.

Am really glad someone else mentioned moles and skin tags. WTF is that all about?!? Reassuring to hear 50% have gone PP.

I'm debating having laser on the melasma (dark spots) as I reckon the freckles will fade again but the large brown patches on my otherwise blue/white face are highly unattractive.

I now have a fat back. I've NEVER in my life carried my excess weight on my back. So grim.

I'm 40wks with DC2 and I literally can't wait to get out and go for a run. I've got some lovely firm hold support pants to help smooth me out under my clothes.

Also can't wait for all my hair to fall out again, that was fun last time. FML.

I've had 2 10lb babies via c section so my stomach is a disaster. The rest of me came back though with clean eating and training.

I can recommend strength training/weights to start pulling everything in again.

It's taken me two years though OP so give it some time.

I didn’t know your rib cages expanded ? I don’t think mine did
I did get bloody stretch marks tho!

My chest only went up one size and went back to Normal after so no change there. Iv always had wide hips and a small waist and that’s not changed. Except when I put on weight it used to go to my hips and make them even bigger but it now goes on my tummy more which I don’t mind!

My friends feet went from a 5 to a 7 and have never gone back. My feet didn’t change.

My hair fell out after and a lot worse with my 2nd, it was horrific! Not bold but it was so bad!

After first pregnancy I think I was very similar after - wore bikini and same clothes.

Second pregnancy (only 2 years later) and its completely different story. Baby was bigger and had a c section. Stomach is awful shape - looks pregnant, bad stretch marks - can’t wear bikini. Feet have widened.

Mainly stomach muscles seem to have just completely gone/stopped working and no core strength at all. I’m not heavier but my body feels ruined!

I won’t be having any more babies! Pregnancy coupled with sleep deprivation have all but killed me lol