To not want her to go?

[yoshismother]

My 5 year old has been invited on a school trip in the last week of term to a zoo over an hour away. Am I being unreasonable not to want her to go this far to a crowded place (in schools week?

I'd rather she stayed behind and maybe did some transition stuff for year 1.

I wouldn’t stop my 5yo DD going. It won’t be crowded before school breaks up, there will be a good adult : child ratio, and it is likely to be a tried and tested trip.

Which would your 5yo self rather? A day out to the zoo with your friends, picnic and gift shop OR stay in school working while all your friends are having a great time at the zoo? And will be talking about it all day the next day. It’s a no brainer.

CalF123 that's completely out of proportion. The OP feels nervous and that's completely normal. She hasn't even mentioned anxiety and no-one is capable of diagnosing a mental health condition via mumsnet.

Unless there is some information we don't know yet this sounds like a perfectly reasonable school trip and YABU. Imagine her being left behind as all her classmates go off on an adventure.

You can't be serious OP. Guessing this is a reverse?

Are you worried about another harambe situation

YABU. Parent helpers in reception are 1 to 4 children and teachers constantly take headcounts. They are well used to taking the children out.

What, specifically, are you worried about? Are you generally an anxious parent? My DCs are 7 & 4 and it wouldn't even cross my mind to worry about a school trip.

Of course she should go. She will be devastated to stay in school and miss the trip with classmates.
What on earth are you thinking about?

If she doesn't go she won't be doing 'transition stuff', she'll probably have to come home and you'll have to look after her yourself, as all the teachers will be on the school trip! At best, she will have to join another class that isn't on a trip that day (if any aren't - at our school all year groups go on trips on the same day), and either 'help the teacher' if the DC are younger, or sit doing some colouring on her own if they are an older group. YABU and very precious.

Yoshimother it’s perfectly normal to be nervous about your little one to go without you on trips...especially to crowded busy places. Is there any chance you could go along as a parent helper?

Ignore the amateur psychologists on here suggesting anxiety and holding their hands up in disbelief 😂.
FWIW I always feel a little nervous too when my little ones are going somewhere new on a trip without me.....I think it’s part and parcel of being a mum.

PS - my eldest two are the most confident, extrovert children now....I can’t hold them back 😂

Why don’t you want her to go?

I was nervous on DS's first few school trips (we live within sight of the school and I used to put him in a really bright jacket so i could spot him getting off the coach ) but she will be heartbroken if she doesn't get to go and has to watch all her friends going off without her and then coming back talking about it. Volunteer to go as a parent helper if you're really worried - our school was always crying out for them and they're really strict on ratios and supervision these days.

Go with her?

You are being ridiculous and mean!

You do need to get used to this kind of thing with kids, I'm afraid! I think sometimes people convince themselves that they're not a good parent if they're not worried all the time, but part of good parenting is letting them out of your supervision too.

Well the parent helpers have already been chosen. There are 20 of them who will primarily be looking out for their own children in my opinion and I doubt will be dbs checked either. There's 3 kids to an adult, butt they aren't all trained staff are they...which would be better on a trip like this. They are just regular people.

Is this a wind up?

DBS checks aren’t required for school trips where helpers will never be alone with the children.

Yes, you are being unreasonable if you stop your child socialising with their peers on a school trip. Being anxious about it is one thing, particularly in reception; but acting on that would be detrimental to your child.

Have you expressed your willingness to be a parent helper OP? I’m one for our school and thoroughly enjoy it.
Could you speak to class teacher and explain your concerns? Ask if it’s too late for you to go along?

butt they aren't all trained staff are they

Are you trained in childcare? Your partner? Your parents?
If not, should you really be responsible for supervising your children?

Trained in what exactly? Its supervising kids on a school trip, not teaching them or taking them skydiving.

I've been a parent helper on several school trips and I can assure you that I was far more worried about other people's DC than I was about my own! My old DC I know and trust and can second guess their behaviour - not so with kids I don't know well. And a ratio of 1:3 is fine. I've had six kids in my care before at Kew Gardens. That was a fucking nightmare!

I've been a helper on trips and trust me I am for more concerned with looking after other people's children than my own!

X post!

Yabvu this is part of the school experience.