to use their name

[ScoobyCan]

Went supermarket shopping with friends recently.

Lovely lady was at the checkout. Her name - Gail - was clearly written on a name tag on her lapel. I struck up a conversation with her as she priced up my goods, and I called her Gail a couple of times. As we left I wished her a good day.

My friends think I'm odd for calling her by her name tag name. I have always done it, and I have always believed that it is a polite thing to do. Apparently they don't, and that's not what it is there for.

AIBU to think that if a member of staff in a bank, retail outlet, restaurant or other has their name displayed clearly on a name badge, it is for the purpose of a customer using it to be polite if they so wish? Or is it so I know who to refer to if I make a complaint?!

When I worked in retail it always freaked me out when people used my name I don't know why though.

It's fine op.

It's fine, but when I waitressed I always found it a little surprising or a bit overly familiar, but then I'm more of a handshake than a hug type of person. I always assumed my name was there for the feedback cards, or if they needed to ask for me specifically while I was doing something else. I'm also not keen when shop assistants look at the name on my card and refer to me as Mrs Fash. But I think it's more about me and a bit of British uprightness than anything else

*uptight not upright

When I waitressed I found it really creepy! I didn’t wear a name badge by choice.

I read somwwhere its a dominance thing using peoples names. I never use peoples names and hate when people use mine but its not rude. You done nothing wrong but maybe subconsciously you have a dominant outgoing personality?

I've had jobs where I've had to wear a name tag. I always hated it. You don't know me, and you don't have my permission to use my name. It's overfamiliar.

Reminds me of the Kaiser Chief song lyrics "you work in a shirt with your name tag on it, drifting along like a plate teutonic....".
It's demeaning.

100% agree with MadMags

I always wonder if they swap name badges around. At least then you would know if someone actually knows you (and wouldnt be wracking your brains trying to figure out who the hell they are).

Sorry, I absolutely hated it. It really freaked me out and put me on edge no matter how well meaning it was.

I assume the reason is that the business wants to look friendly by putting names to faces, that doesn't mean the employees wearing the badges like it.

It's a bit weird. She didn't know your name and you hadn't been introduced. How did this come up with your friends?

I can't think of why I would need to call the cashier by name in the normal course of conversation TBH.

I use their name if they've really helped me and usually as I'm saying goodbye...lots of smiles and thank yous, just to underline I'm grateful for their help and I find I get a warm
response to that...it's more an offhand thing, I wouldn't use their name throughout a conversation...not sure if that makes sense but there it is!

It’s a power imbalance thing: using someone’s first name when they don’t know yours, which is why it makes people feel uncomfortable.

I hated it when I worked in retail because it felt like a power play by customers - but context is important! She probably could tell you were just being friendly.

I don't think it's because I didn't know their name, I hate when I have to speak to call centres who keep saying "OK Gummy, I'm just going to do this" and constantly using my name and I know theirs as they introduced themselves at the start of the call.

It used to really annoy me but I don't know why, I think it's just because it's over familiarity with people you don't know.
I have an easily shortened name as well (full name was on name tag) and I used to get customers who would call me by the shortened version as if they knew me. That was the worst!

Well when I worked in a shop we used to leave our tags in a bowl on the table in the staff room so we usually wore a different name each shift.

I used to work behind a bar. If regular customers used my name that was okay but if a stranger overheard and used it it felt a bit creepy, especially if they overused it.

And if call centre people use my first name without asking I don't like that either.

“It’s a power imbalance thing: using someone’s first name when they don’t know yours, which is why it makes people feel uncomfortable.“

This. Used to work in a place with name tags, and we did indeed swap them round Fekko

Having said that OP, I agree that context is important, and when someone is kind and well-meaning it’s quite nice actually. Don’t worry OP, but maybe don’t overdo it either

We’re supposed to use a customer’s name 3 times during a call where I work, as a way of building rapport and making it a “personal experience” for them (not envy).
I hate it when people do it to me, I know my name I don’t need you to keep saying it!

Grim - I hate people using my name in work interactions where it's clearly not needed as it sounds so false.

I used to work in a supermarket (Safeway!) and HATED it. It made me feel uncomfortable and irked.

I ha e used the same coffee shop for a good few years, I nip in for my take out in the mornings and will often go on my day off for a sit in coffee. I talk to the staff all the time but still don't feel I can use their names. Oddly they call me by my first name

I'm a GP Receptionist and have recently taken to wearing a name badge because patients know our names but didn't know which name belongs to which person. If anyone is going to complain I would rather they complain about the right person.

Years ago I worked somewhere where the name badge was mandatory uniform, but they didn't have mine by the time I started, so I was 'Laura' for two weeks. It was weird when customers used it.

It's a bit creepy tbh . They don't wear name tags by choice. Most company's have them for accountability, who to blame if you have been short changed etc. I always feel if a customer uses my name it's a veiled threat that they are going to complain about me . Maybe I'm just paranoid