to use their name

[ScoobyCan]

Went supermarket shopping with friends recently.

Lovely lady was at the checkout. Her name - Gail - was clearly written on a name tag on her lapel. I struck up a conversation with her as she priced up my goods, and I called her Gail a couple of times. As we left I wished her a good day.

My friends think I'm odd for calling her by her name tag name. I have always done it, and I have always believed that it is a polite thing to do. Apparently they don't, and that's not what it is there for.

AIBU to think that if a member of staff in a bank, retail outlet, restaurant or other has their name displayed clearly on a name badge, it is for the purpose of a customer using it to be polite if they so wish? Or is it so I know who to refer to if I make a complaint?!

Yeah, it's fucking creepy. Stop it.

My daughter’s boyfriend always uses my name. (I know it is different because he knows me) but it is just so lovely, it is quite old fashioned manners and I like it.

A customer did this to me when I first started working in a particular bar, creeped me right out, but mostly because I had forgotten I was wearing a name badge and couldn't figure out how they knew my name.

I don't do it because I was brought up that you don't use first names unless the person invites you to (I'm 29 but my parents are very old fashioned).

"it is for the purpose of a customer using it to be polite if they so wish? "

Unless they also know your name & are using it then I don't think that it is polite-more patronising tbh.

This: 'I read somwwhere its a dominance thing using peoples names. I never use peoples names and hate when people use mine'. I don't even use my dh's name

A lot of people I interact with here (medical professionals, dc's teachers, etc.) address me by name a lot, but this is a pretty formal culture (Germany) so it's Frau Height, not Medium. I don't mind that much, though I think the constant naming is unnecessary. But the odd recent experience with a UK call centre and constantly being called Medium was quite grating, tbh.

I’m a mystery shopper and we have to give the name from the badge as well as a description on the reports. Loads of people have a badge and then either 1) position it so it points downwards and can’t be read or 2) wear a cardigan or similar over it so its partly obscured or 3) have a lanyard which is flipped over so the name is facing their body. We comment on all of those and they are frowned upon.

I absolutely hated it when I worked in a shop. Over familiar is right. As a teacher I was quite taken aback if parents used my first name, too, instead of Miss McDogface ()
In the shop, I swapped name tags with my friend Simon....and people started calling me "Simon"....

Have you ever done a customer facing role op?

When I worked in retail, they insisted a wear a name badge that said Sharon, instead of making me a new name badge.

My name isn't Sharon.

I hate that people are made to wear name tags. I think it’s rude to use someone’s name if it hasn’t been offered. However, I’m sure you meant no offence. I wouldn’t do it in future tho

I dislike it. I hate wearing my name badge. It's odd. Not my name but having to announce my name to strangers. In the old days we had first and surname on it and a young girl followed Home whilst this lad shouted her full name at her. It was horrible.

Don't forget the hilarious "what's the other one called?"

Fuck off you creepy fucking fuck.

I know you are being friendly OP, but it is weird yes. And a little bit patronising somehow........

I don't like it. People in important jobs never have to wear a name tag do they? And if you are told their name, their surnames are also given whereas in this situation you're being told by the person's employer that you can call her by her first name, the actual employee has no choice in the matter.

I think OP has disappeared.

AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight completely agree.

I'm Frau BlueCoat & I like that. It's respectful. I can't stand random people calling me by my first name when I haven't invited them to. The German formal attitude suits me.

As an aside, as a student I worked in a pub where we had to wear name badges. The manager had "spares" in case anyone forgot theirs: Dick for the men & Fanny for the ladies. he was a dick

I do this too, Scooby and Dutchoma. Surely context is everything - "Thanks for your help, Scooby" makes the sentiment more personal, whereas "I need a couple of carrier bags, please, Scooby" could be construed as pulling rank. Before anyone asks, yes, I have worked in retail!

OP are you Tom Hanks in You've Got Mail? ("Rose, that's a very beautiful name. Rose, why don't you just help us out and zip the card...."

It never sounds natural to me; in normal discourse, we only usually use our interlocutor’s name to get their attention.
It always pisses me off when politicians do this with interviewers on Newsnight or the Today programme, clearly they’ve been on some shit course that tells them it is rapport building.

I think the name badge is for you to identify them for whatever reason, not to be social with them, they're a stranger and calling them by their first name is too personal. Just a "thank you" I always find is suffice.

It's creepy and patronising.

I'd think a customer that did this a complete arse.

"It never sounds natural to me; in normal discourse, we only usually use our interlocutor’s name to get their attention."

Yes, usually.

I think the over-using of names is probably an American thing.

Well today I was paying for petrol, at a petrol station near my workplace, but which I had never really visited before. The guy taking my payment said "thanks fujexi" as I turned to leave - I half paused thinking "what, do I know him??" (I'm not originally from here) - then realised he'd read the name on my debit card

That must definitely be overstepping a line??!

Iwantmyhatback "what's the other one called?"

"Smack in the mouth".