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AIBU?

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Original poster

Or is Meghan Markle making the right choice?

454 replies

CaliforniaDream · 17/05/2018 12:31

I don't know if it actually was her choice or her father's, but it seems to me that it's the right decision for him not to come to the wedding.

He's obviously not at all well and needs to recover from his heart attack. He is also obviously wildly in over his head with the media. I think Kensington Palace have something to answer for there as they should have taken him under their wing from the start and given him more help in dealing with press speculation. But the damage is done and now he has caused himself and his daughter a lot of heartache - that must be causing him stress, and I think he will be happier and more healthy for missing it.

I really feel for Meghan. She obviously had quite a complex and uneasy relationship with her dad. She must feel so betrayed that he went behind her back to have these press photographs taken, and it seems he is also texting gossip fodder directly to TMZ. While there are mitigating factors, he very clearly hasn't been putting his daughter's wellbeing first. If he had, she'd be able to have her dad at her wedding and now she can't.

I hope she still has a great day on Saturday, and that her father recovers, and that she's able to move on from this and have a reasonable relationship with him.

OP posts:
Wannabestepfordwife · 18/05/2018 11:38

I don’t think we know the full story here not that we ever do when it comes to the Royals.

If Kate has another baby which I’m sure she will be encouraged to do Prince Harry will have as much relevance as Princesses Beatrice had up until last month

Mumto2two · 18/05/2018 11:41

I agree Laurie, we are all only speculating after all. But amongst the speculation, there are certain little red flags that keep cropping up..and whether we like it or not, our past helps define us, and defines who we are as people. So given that MM has previously extricated her Ex-h and their circle of friends from her life, and her circle of friends from her life before, in what has been reported as being quite cold & callous, such that even her closest friend had little good to say about her...that must surely ring some alarm bells??

LaurieMarlow · 18/05/2018 11:49

I just don't get all these supposed 'red flags'.

Distancing oneself from one's ex-husband. Sounds like normal behaviour to me. Don't 99% of divorced people do this?

Her half siblings are coming across as shit stirring nightmares. I can't blame her for cutting them out.

Apart from that I'm only dimly aware of an ex friend who's being a bit catty. So what? Most of us have had friendships that haven't ended well.

Not seeing it.

Mumto2two · 18/05/2018 11:54

I am still on good terms with my ex-H, and all the people we knew then and still know. We have been kind & considerate towards each other, and respect that we have been part of each others history, part of what has shaped the people we are today.

LaurieMarlow · 18/05/2018 11:55

Good for you mum but surely you can see that isn't necessarily typical.

ILikeMyChickenFried · 18/05/2018 11:59

Plenty of people are perfectly normal, nice people who don't speak to half their family.

Mumto2two · 18/05/2018 12:01

For some people I can see that yes Laurie, but factor in the fact that there appears to be a tendency for estrangement on a rather larger scale than just that of an ex-h?
As for the siblings, We all have the odd family member we’re more keen to avoid, but where things like weddings & funerals are concerned, well you put those things aside, don’t you?! I just don’t know anyone who has not invited any family members to their wedding, bar their mum.

LaurieMarlow · 18/05/2018 12:03

i just don’t know anyone who has not invited any family members to their wedding, bar their mum.

But we don't know that's the case as we don't know the guest list. Confused

GalwayWayfarer · 18/05/2018 12:09

My husband's father doesn't speak to any of his siblings because they are so awful! (Stole significant money from their frail and vulnerable mother, stored class A drugs in her house, his brother got drunk and punched his own SIL on day of SILs wedding to daughter because he thought the SIL was looking at him funny, one sister's husband tried to shoot my FIL's cat with a BB gun and the sister laughed about it - there's more I could say!)

None of them or their offspring were invited to my wedding to DH. My DH's granny was invited but refused to come because her other kids weren't invited. So at our wedding my DH had his mum and dad and his mum's parents and no other family.

Do you judge him or us for that? I hope not. Weddings are important for families but nobody should be forced to invite abusive, aggressive or unpleasant people just because they have the misfortune of being related to them. You shouldn't have to put aside terrible things people have done to you just because it's a wedding.

SoupDragon · 18/05/2018 12:11

I am still on good terms with my ex-H

Bully for you.

I am not on speaking terms with mine because he is a cheating wanker who left when I was pregnant. I have a few suggestions of where that particular “red flag” could go.

DrEustaciaBenson · 18/05/2018 12:12

Why isn’t her mum giving her away??

Perhaps she doesn't want to?

Why has her mum only been in the country for a couple of days?

Perhaps she has a life of her own that she has been busy with?

So many posts here assuming that Ms Ragland has no will of her own, or existence beyond being Meghan's mother, and is just there to do what everyone else thinks she ought to do.

user1457017537 · 18/05/2018 12:22

Agree with the poster re estrangement on a larger scale. We will find out tomorrow if any other family members have been invited. I believe women, when they trust their instincts, are pretty good judges of character. No judgement here re family estrangement. It is, however, indeed strange to fall out with every family member accept your mum, if that is the case.

At the end of the day I don’t think MM is worried about MN’s opinion of her.

Redcrayons · 18/05/2018 12:22

I feel really sorry for her. I'm sure given the choice, she'd rather have an nice normal family surrounding her on her big day, instead of having this lot showing her up.

Mumto2two · 18/05/2018 12:39

I agree user1457, instinct has proven me right on quite a few occasions now. (Not that I am claiming that will be the case here!) And sometimes there is really nothing tangible, other than a hunch that the person I was seeing was not the real deal. My cousins wife, was simply toooo perfect. Too perfect as a mother, too perfect at her job, just so ‘perfect’! She also had lots of people she had fallen out with, which always surprised me, as she acted so sweet & ‘nice’. Turns out that part of the reasons for her extensive work pressure, was because she was having an affair. With another married man with 3 kids, whose wife was pregnant. Two families shattered, and she has treated my cousin so abominably since. But nobody could ever see what I had seen. She played the sweet female part so well...constantly clawing at her husbands arm like a helpless swan. So every time I see MM doing the same with Harry, I am reminded of her...
As I’ve said before, we shall see. Will raise a tentative glass tomorrow..and if I’m proved wrong in years to come, I’ll gladly take it all back! Grin

Mumto2two · 18/05/2018 12:44

Re the guest list...Telegraph reports seem to suggest little to support that there is any other close family invited...but looks like there’s a few Suits in town! Smile

LaurieMarlow · 18/05/2018 12:49

The Telegraph have no actual info as the guest list was never made public. I expect it would be hard to track down family members who have never identified themselves to the press.

Mumto2two · 18/05/2018 13:00

Perhaps..although the press didn’t appear to have much difficulty ascertaining which members of the Middleton family were on the guest list. And they weren’t all publicity seekers either...just a thought!

MissEliza · 18/05/2018 13:01

My SIL only had her parents and dsis at her wedding. Her dps had zero involvement in the wedding planning. Her parents invited one couple they had known about five years. The family seemed to have cut ties with everyone from the past. It felt weird and I thought at the time it was a 'red flag'. However she's been a perfectly good DIL and aunt to my dcs. Her dm also has tried very hard to have a good relationship with my dps. So I guess they perhaps just had toxic family that they couldn't deal with.
I think it's lovely that Prince Charles will walk MM down the aisle as obviously he doesn't have a daughter of his own. On the other hand, it would have been great to see her dm do it.

LaurieMarlow · 18/05/2018 13:05

Apart from the obvious ones (uncle Gary) I don't remember anyone, including the press, being particularly interested in which Middleton extended family/cousins were attending.

Plus they would have been easier to track down what with being in the UK and Kate having been on the scene for much longer.

QueenOfTheAndals · 18/05/2018 13:05

Hmm interesting piece on how the Mail never ever make anything up..,

SamanthaBrique · 18/05/2018 13:08

she was having an affair. With another married man with 3 kids, whose wife was pregnant

Can people not hear how ridiculous they sound?? Extrapolating a random relative's situation to Meghan? Oh well, guess Kate better not get knocked up again!

Mumto2two · 18/05/2018 13:11

I wasn’t extrapolating that at all! I was using it as an example in the discussion on ‘instinct’. Please don’t infer something that isn’t there....i

caperberries · 18/05/2018 13:14

Kate's Uncle Gary is every bit as embarrassing as MM's relatives, but William and Kate holidayed with him in Ibiza and he's still been invited to official events.

I think it's to Kate's credit that she hasn't attempted to sweep her embarrassing uncle under the carpet.

RoseWhiteTips · 18/05/2018 13:17

Kate has class. That is why she doesn’t pretend she has no family. What was that PH said “...the family she never had.”?

Hmm
ILikeMyChickenFried · 18/05/2018 13:24

I believe women, when they trust their instincts, are pretty good judges of character.

Even when women's instincts are based on nothing more than a load of tabloid gossip? What a load of tosh

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