To think I can't be the only one that doesn't feel like a grown up?

[MartagonLilies]

I feel out of place a lot, like I'm not quite as adult as others. I don't know why, I do adult things. Shop, houswork, cook etc.
I just seem to not manage it as well as others. I always need to have a way of doing things, or they don't get done. So, housework for eg. I need a plan, like flylady / UFYH. Others just seem to get it done.
I always leave a social situation wondering if I've said something wrong.
Other things too, just these are the main ones.
AIBU to think this way? Does everyone else feel like this?

I meant to add that I'm married, I'm my 30's and have 3 DC. Surely I should have everything worked out by now, mostly?

everyone feels like this. dont worry x

Nah.

I'm 36. Totally winging it.

Kids think that when they're adults they'll know everything and be able to do anything they like.

I think adults tend to discover they know even less than they thought they did and can't do whatever they like because they've got bills to pay etc.

Nobody has all of the answers, I think it's normal to feel like you do. I don't feel like a grown up at all some times and have to bluff it!

I have no advice but if it's any consolation I feel exactly like this 😂I'm 30 something with a DD and married! 😂 Always feel like everyone knows exactly what they are doing/talking about so I'm always asking people for advice on parenting etc. Feeling like an adult must kick in at some point right?!

Me too.

I'm 36 but still feel like I look like a kid, even though I don't!

Sometimes I feel like I'm living in my parents house and driving their car (we've a big detached house and a Volvo)

I feel like I should be in a corsa and renting a flat somewhere

That feeling is so common it has a name - imposter syndrome. We all do it.

I count it as a victory I kept my DC alive with no knowledge of how to rear a child.
I still get the giggles at parents evenings realising the teachers are treating me as a mature adult.
No idea how to do housework - and it shows.
Do rude gestures behind DC/DH and DMs back when they leave the room.
Often realise I have gone too far in social situations and get panicked thinking back to the events,

I could go on. I’m 50.

I could have written what you said...even mentioned it in therapy...

Just been diagnosed with ADHD and discovered it affects adult women differently. I'm certainly not hyperactive, but all the housework stuff, social things, yep, spot on now I've read up about.

Glad to know I'm not the only one. I don't get the feeling that others even see me as an adult though. I feel like they know I'm not really.

PS Not saying anyone else would have it, just that I do...and this stuff was all a mystery to me.

Me and OH always say the same, we feel like we're just 'playing' at being adults, you know like how when you're a child you play house etc.
Y
I don't think I'll ever feel grown up!

Yeah I'm nearly 33 and I still feel like I did at 18. Arrested development

I always think other people look more adulty than me,I'm 38 with a second dh and a ds so I've been round the block but still feel like I'm not a proper grown up

Same here - major inferiority complex. Have always felt below and beneath everyone, so I still feel like the shy quiet bullied little girl that just wanted to be left alone, but always getting targeted by those that smell the vulnerability on me.

Inside I just don't feel like the strong mid-30's married mother and professional that I am. I still feel like a quivering confused 12 year old.

I'm trying to work on it.

In my thirties with a very responsible job I have done many, many years of training to do, which involves people coming to me for help with their problems.

Although I'm good at my job I still often find myself bemused that people see me as an actual adult who knows things. My family also find it very amusing I do the work I do, as our relationships are based around silly humour and they rarely see a serious side to me. Definitely can relate to imposter syndrome.

I count dh as the 'adultier adult'. Not sure if he knows he's been assigned this role though.😂

I'm 31, married with 3 dc and feel the same.

Dh and I make 'well fucking hell, get me' faces at each other all the time when one of us does something particularly grown up

This is exactly how I feel!

There are some people who seem so grown up, mature and capable. And then there is me

YANBU.

I am one of the 3 oldest in my group of colleagues.

I forget that I am one of the older ones as they all seem to "adult" better than me.

I always wonder when I'll eventually get my shit together

I could have written this post. I feel the same most days. Always questioning myself and wondering how other people do it. Often feel people looking down on me as being young and nieve. I'm 27 married with a toddler. So perhaps younger than some on here but I should have life fingured out by now.

I'm 43, 3 kids, 2 husbands, seriously grown up jobs and yet I still lurch from day to day thinking someone is going to figure out one day that I don't know what I'm doing.

It's totally normal,

My go to adult is 20 years older than me and lives next door.

She says she's only now got properly adulty

Most people feel like this OP! I think it's because as young people we feel like the older generation are a different species almost, and then suddenly we're there in the blink of an eye and it doesn't feel real. Like we're pretending to be an adult. And we realise our parents probably felt like this too! I assure you that everyone else will see you as an adult.

Totally. Especially when I read that other people wipe down walls regularly. I keep discovering things like that and wondering how other people know these things then are organised enough to do them