To think I can't be the only one that doesn't feel like a grown up?

[MartagonLilies]

I feel out of place a lot, like I'm not quite as adult as others. I don't know why, I do adult things. Shop, houswork, cook etc.
I just seem to not manage it as well as others. I always need to have a way of doing things, or they don't get done. So, housework for eg. I need a plan, like flylady / UFYH. Others just seem to get it done.
I always leave a social situation wondering if I've said something wrong.
Other things too, just these are the main ones.
AIBU to think this way? Does everyone else feel like this?

I didn't feel like a grown up till my early forties. Sadly it was my mum dying that propelled me, reluctantly, into feeling grown up.

Four children, married for ten years, super responsible job..... Still feel like I'm playing at life. I remember how I felt about my parents when I was a kid... Like they somehow had it all sorted. I kind of know my children must think of me like that but feel they must know that I'm just pretending really! PS...I totally wipe down walls .... Because they often have jam on them. Which clearly if I was a proper mother my kids would never eat.

Aged 40, have kid, DH, mortgage, v. Senior professional job. Still feel like a kid and ring my parents for advice!!

Had similar issues - currently going through an ADHD diagnosis and am realising that I struggled with a lot more than I realised. Things that I just thought were normal struggles that apparently aren't. Might be worth keeping in mind, the assessment alone so far has totally changed my life.

The other day I managed to put the right bin out at the right time and I felt like a proper adult! Then I went to work and my colleagues were comparing stories about their kitchen renovations and I was back to being me, the person playing at being a grown up who can't even keep her kitchen tidy, let alone get organised to have a new one put in!

It doesn't help when you have to leave your booze at the till in the supermarket despite the fact you were old enough to buy it last century

I'm still 12 on some levels. Built like a 12 year old too, so that can be interesting...

I met DH early in adulthood and he was quite well established at grown-upping, so there's lots of the mundane stuff that has never had to fall heavily on my radar. I definitely feel like I've been living grown-up-lite. I'm quite impressed that I've kept my DCs thriving and all the grown-upping around I have to do for them

It is odd looking at the house, the car and the DCs and thinking that this is the real deal!

I have never felt like a real adult. I am the oldest at my work place and the others are not that much younger than me, but both seem to have mostly got the grasp of being an adult. And worse still - I'm in charge! I'm in my 50s with 2 DDs and a DGD and they ask me for advice, and I never have a clue. DM always seemed to know what she was doing, yet when I read her diaries after she died, she had no clue either!

On a lighter note, i did have someone come into my work the other week and look around. She then turned to me and informed me that there was far too much glitter on the clothes and 'real adults don't wear glitter'. I was wearing one of the said glittery clothes. I wasn't quite sure if I had been insulted, but at least I now have permission to not be a real adult!

I’m 28, married with a baby on the way, but I still feel about 16 inside.

No one feels like a grown up. Everyone is faking it.

Thanks for all the replies.
A lot of what you're all saying sums it up for me too. It baffles me, how I manage to get through the day sometimes. And yes, I do feel like a big fake.

I feel like this all the time. Like I need a grown-up to tell me what to do.

I'm exactly the same. I'm 37, I still get asked for ID, I look very young and I don't feel "grown up" at all.

Others definitely don't see me as a mature adult. I'm a teacher and I find that other teachers who are younger than me really treat me like someone who hasn't been doing the job for YEARS because of the way I look/act which is really frustrating. Then they're embarrassed when they find out I'm ten years older than them. I even had someone from an external agency take one look at me and tell the head she wasn't dealing with an NQT on a certain case. She was made to apologise when the head told her I'd been doing my job longer than she had!

It's not just that though - I find it everywhere I go. I don't seem to be respected as an adult. I'm married, children, career etc. It's very odd. Pretty sure it must be down to the way I look.

I'd also like to add that I had a child at 16 and felt more of an adult then than I do with my two little ones now at 28.

I think the older we get the more I start to realise that my dream of being a grown up was stupid. I want to rebel against forced maturity but everyone is faking it so I just try and fit in.

‘Adults are just children who owe money’ one of my favourite quotes.

I’m 29, married for 5 years with 2 children, have a mortgage, a car, a business and I still feel like it was only yesterday I left university. I seem to be stuck somewhere around 21 in my head and I can’t shake it off. Its worse when I’m with my family as they seem to think of me as a child still, as do my inlaws (husband is 5 years older than me which apparently is a big enough age gap to render him a fully functioning adult and me a silly teenager) and whenever I’m faced with other teachers or professionals I’m awful. It’s horrible.

Ha ha great thread. Me and dh have 6 grown up kids and grandkids. We recently went away for our wedding anniversary and instead of site seeing or going to museums or afternoon tea we brought picnic stuff, 2 bottles of wine and got pissed in the hotel garden.

54 and got drunk in the park. ‘‘Twas glorious just like we were 16 again. Felt it too.

We are all whinging it op it’s just the boring buggers who don’t realise it and take themselves too seriously.

Intrigued by the washing of walls!

I was going to post the meme steff posted

I definitely feel like this. I have to have to do lists for completely normal every day stuff, like food shopping, laundry, going to the bank, otherwise I just won't do it.

Last night I was supposed to get in, wash up (from the night before! See?!), do the laundry, eat, wash up again. Only one of those things really happened. I'd not made a list. I ended up drinking beer and watching films, going to bed at 2am.

Like a pp said, I often have felt this at work. Sometimes I imagine someone coming over to me and saying “you can’t do this job, get out” lol. It still feels weird to me that I’m an adult, and I’m in my 40s. I suspect I will still feel this way when I’m 80 (if I live that long).

I'm 42 and am still wondering who th

See I'm so immature I can't even finish a sentence on here

I don't feel like I am a grown up yet...that said I don't want to be one either...I want to go out on my bike to play..

Feckitall aged 51 and a half....

I don't feel like a grown-up. I feel like I'm barely qualified to babysit my two kids.

Definitely. Sometimes I feel sorry for my kids, that they have me for a mother and not a proper adult.
I still do silly dance moves when on my own and nobody is about.

When I reversed my car into a bollard at work, one of my first thoughts was 'my dad's going to kill me'. I'm 48!

I'm one of the oldest in the office and yet the others are always giving me advice on general grown up stuff, recommending plumbers and builders and where to get you're car fixed. Proper grown ups know that sort of stuff.

Im so with you OP.
Sometimes I end up in situations where people are asking me for advice or im in charge for some reason... and im just thinking... 'this is terrifying, if im the one whos the responsible one right now then the entire world is completely fucked'