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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is he, RE splinter in child’s hand?

78 replies

Pettyspaghetti · 15/05/2018 19:36

Looking for advice on this, and if I’ve gone about it the wrong way.
DD (5) showed me a splinter that she gotten yesterday (I work nights so was at work when this happened). I asked DH why he hadn’t removed it, to which he replied “she would let me”.
I asked DD if I could have a look and take it out. She refused. I tried reasoning with her, telling her it would get very poorly if left in etc but she wouldn’t let me anywhere near it. So I left it, and told her we’d have to get it out after school.
3pm comes, and once DD is home from school and settled, I tell her that we’re going to get the splinter out now so it won’t hurt her anymore, and possibly get infected. I tried numbing it with some ice first, and attempted to take it out. ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE. DD turned into some sort of demon, kicking, screaming, the works. I’d barely been able to touch the bloody splinter! While I’m trying to wrestle with the banshee in the kitchen, DH is sat on his phone in the living room, completely ignoring the issue.
I eventually gave up, my ear drums were close to bursting and DD wasn’t cooperating. I turned around to see DH watching me with a look of disgust on his face.
I’m now at work, and have since had a few messages from DH saying that I was wrong to try and remove it, and that I have traumatised DD Confused. He’s made me feel like absolute shit! I know splinters aren’t pleasant, but the alternative is an infected hand which would be much worse. DH has very blatantly put the blame on me, and now I’m a rubbish mother (according to him) Sad
Was I unreasonable in trying to remove a splinter from my daughter? Am I being too harsh on her?

OP posts:
Original poster
Pettyspaghetti · 15/05/2018 19:37

She *wouldn’t let me rather. Can’t seem to edit on my phone.

OP posts:
DaanSaaf · 15/05/2018 19:38

Your husband is a dickhead.

TheOriginalEmu · 15/05/2018 19:40

You did nothing wrong. the whole point of parenting is sometimes doing things our children don't like, but we know are in their best interests. My ds has a condition where his eyes get super dry and he needs drops. he HATES it, always has. but he doesn't get a choice about it because it has to be done. DH should have been backing you up.

Candlelight123 · 15/05/2018 19:41

Hmmm my dd acted like I was trying to murder her at weekend when I was pumicing her verucca. Sometimes the adults know best, what does he propose to do if it gets infected?

Lund · 15/05/2018 19:42

I agree you need to remove it, and your DH should back you up on that but the best way to get a splinter out of a child is when they are asleep.

fedup0f · 15/05/2018 19:42

Not about your op but apparently using the little syringe things that come with medicine can help get splinters out - guess a bit has to be poking out the top to do it.

LadyB49 · 15/05/2018 19:42

Many years ago..... My friend held my child's arm in an armlock so he couldn't see it, and he couldn't move it. I pulled the splinter out. Yes, he balked and yelled but all over in 30 seconds.

I suggest you out something on it to draw out the splinter and cover it overnight. Good luck.

tootiredtospeak · 15/05/2018 19:43

Jesus neither of you sound like you handled it all that well. My son soaked it in a long bath then his pores were really open so we could squeeze it out.

Yumyumpigs · 15/05/2018 19:44

Perhaps try soaking in warm water. It might help to ease it out.

Your dh is a tool. We 'll have to do unpleasant things sometimes.

Notevilstepmother · 15/05/2018 19:45

He should have helped you to keep her calm and still while you removed it. Sometimes unpleasant things have to be done for your child’s wellbeing. He sounds like he is a bit of a wuss. You are not a bad mother.

picklemepopcorn · 15/05/2018 19:45

Did it really need to come out? They usually work free on their own.

Definitely need to soak in salt water or the bath first. Also put a plaster on with antiseptic so the area gets soggy.

I wouldn't pin a child down, to be honest. I'd coax and cajole.

Seniorcitizen1 · 15/05/2018 19:45

He needs to hold her firmly and you need to dig it out - team work!

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 15/05/2018 19:45

Sometimes bribery is a useful technique for health-related issues like this Flowers because it’s horrible to have to hurt your child to get a splinter out. But it does need to come out.

RafikiIsTheBest · 15/05/2018 19:45

Your husband is BU for letting her think it was optional to have it removed. That said so were you, although I can understand it more if you were in a rush to get her to school.

Get her to stick her hand in warm soapy water (I swear by fairy washing up liquid), but it has to have lots of soap in. Wait for her fingers to go wrinkly and then usually it will either come out on it's own or with only a little coaxing.

Notevilstepmother · 15/05/2018 19:47

Try this stuff www.boots.com/boots-pharmaceuticals-magnesium-sulfate-paste-bp-10083701

LittleOwl153 · 15/05/2018 19:47

Dh should have backed you up.
Stick a plaster over it with some savlon on it that should draw it out and hold off any infection in the meantime.

Strax · 15/05/2018 19:48

My dd who is otherwise tough as nails turns into a screaming banshee with a splinter too. I've tried the bicarbonate poultice overnight under a plaster which seems to help draw it out.
pumicing her verucca made me wince though, I have hard callouses on my feet and they hurt like fuck if you pumice them 😭

Katescurios · 15/05/2018 19:48

Make a thick paste out of bicarbonate of soda and water, smear it on the padded part of a plaster and stick it over the spinter.

Leave it o for 24 yrs then take the plaster off and the splinter will have either come out completely or poked out enough for you to get it with tweezers.

endofagain · 15/05/2018 19:49

Soak in hot salt water.
Dry and apply mag sulph paste poultice. Leave overnight.
Remove with tweezers in the morning.
If it does get infected DH takes her to the practice nurse for removal.

Katescurios · 15/05/2018 19:49

That should be 24 hours not years. Bloody autocorrect!

WishTheGroundWouldSwallowMeUp · 15/05/2018 19:50

your DH is BU

as for the splinter, soak her hand in warm water, then ask her to try to squeeze it out.

I can't remember at what age, but I did just give dS the tweezers to do it, if he wouldn't let me, I would sit and tell him what to do.

MrsFrisbyMouse · 15/05/2018 19:51

If its just a small one then Magnesium Sulphate paste over end of splinter, cover with a plaster. The paste will draw the splinter out. Simple and non invasive.

qwertyuiopy · 15/05/2018 19:53

“A look of disgust”? That’s horrible. He wants to belittle you for trying to help your own daughter. He’s cruel.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 15/05/2018 19:54

Arghhhh, I feel your pain as both DC (6 & 8) scream as though I'm removing a limb rather than a splinter Hmm
Your DH is most certainly a dick, perhaps if you remain unsuccessful in removing the splinter he could take over responsibility if it becomes infected...?

Original poster
Pettyspaghetti · 15/05/2018 19:58

Eek sorry! The whole “wrestling” with the banshee sounds like I pinned her down! I was holding her hand out to try and get to the splinter, and she was wriggling and kicking etc while I was manoeuvring her hand. Plus I had to 5 minutes before I had to leave for work so was a bit frazzled.
Yes DH is a dickhead!
I should have thought about doing it while she was asleep. I have heard about certain creams drawing spots etc out, I never thought of using those for splinters.

OP posts:
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