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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is he, RE splinter in child’s hand?

78 replies

Pettyspaghetti · 15/05/2018 19:36

Looking for advice on this, and if I’ve gone about it the wrong way.
DD (5) showed me a splinter that she gotten yesterday (I work nights so was at work when this happened). I asked DH why he hadn’t removed it, to which he replied “she would let me”.
I asked DD if I could have a look and take it out. She refused. I tried reasoning with her, telling her it would get very poorly if left in etc but she wouldn’t let me anywhere near it. So I left it, and told her we’d have to get it out after school.
3pm comes, and once DD is home from school and settled, I tell her that we’re going to get the splinter out now so it won’t hurt her anymore, and possibly get infected. I tried numbing it with some ice first, and attempted to take it out. ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE. DD turned into some sort of demon, kicking, screaming, the works. I’d barely been able to touch the bloody splinter! While I’m trying to wrestle with the banshee in the kitchen, DH is sat on his phone in the living room, completely ignoring the issue.
I eventually gave up, my ear drums were close to bursting and DD wasn’t cooperating. I turned around to see DH watching me with a look of disgust on his face.
I’m now at work, and have since had a few messages from DH saying that I was wrong to try and remove it, and that I have traumatised DD Confused. He’s made me feel like absolute shit! I know splinters aren’t pleasant, but the alternative is an infected hand which would be much worse. DH has very blatantly put the blame on me, and now I’m a rubbish mother (according to him) Sad
Was I unreasonable in trying to remove a splinter from my daughter? Am I being too harsh on her?

OP posts:
Angie169 · 15/05/2018 20:31

I agree with notevil , it is also know as drawing ointment .

The splinter needs to come out asap , I had a grass splinter under my nail when I was about 15 I would not let anyone near it , I ended up getting a very nasty infection and for the next 3/ 4 years the skin under my nail was black.

It sounds like DH just did not want to be the 'bad cop' but as others have said you are adults you know what is best for your child he should of backed you up and helped by distracting DD

category12 · 15/05/2018 20:32

Putting ice on it wasn't a good idea, then it'd hurt cos it was cold as well. Hmm

If it wasn't easily grabbable by tweezers, I'd have put a plaster with some germolene/similar on over it to draw it out a bit.

Original poster
Pettyspaghetti · 15/05/2018 20:34

There’s been some great advice on here, thank you. I’ll equip myself tonight with bicarb, plasters, and the calpol syringe. I hope to god DD daughter wake up and see me, she’ll think i’ve turned into a creepy scientist!
I do apologise if I’ve come across as harsh with her, I’m not a mean mummy!

OP posts:
viques · 15/05/2018 20:34

I used to sprinkle sugar grains over DDs splinters, cover with a plaster and leave overnight. Always worked.

slithytove · 15/05/2018 20:34

You are both dickheads

Banana peel works surprisingly well to draw splinters out, just tape a piece on (inside peel to skin) and it will be poking out the next morning.

Not worth scaring or upsetting the child over as it makes it even harder next time. Husband should have dealt with it and been supportive.

Sara107 · 15/05/2018 20:36

I don't think it's recommended to try and dig out splinters and thorns, there's a risk of pushing them in further or breaking them leaving an inaccessible bit in situ. And you increase the risk of infection. So unless there's a bit sticking out that you can grab with a tweezers then you shouldn't be digging at it. Google for things that help to draw splinters - even just a plaster on overnight can do it.

strawberrypenguin · 15/05/2018 20:36

Oh god. Been there, done that! We did have to hold DS down in the end to get his as he fought like crazy. Lost count of the amount of times he kicked me while we were treating his verruca as well. He's not normally like that at all.

slithytove · 15/05/2018 20:37

Oh dear that did not come across as light hearted as I intended

laloup1 · 15/05/2018 20:40

I saw a 5 year old do the same totally crazy banshee thing over a splinter last year. It’s quite impressive. You have my sympathies on quite a tough trying-to-do-the-right-thing experience.
(I would have done the same as you - thx to all the other posters for the splinter remedies!)

Original poster
Pettyspaghetti · 15/05/2018 20:41

That’s ok slithy Grin I’ve been called much worse! Hadn’t heard of the banana peel either!
I’ve always helped get my younger siblings splinters out and never had a problem, even when they were little. Probably why I assumed DD would be the same, but we all know what happens when you assume Blush

OP posts:
tenredthings · 15/05/2018 20:45

Fix a sultana/ raisin on the splinter under a plaster and leave it for 24 hours. It draws the splinter out. This is tried and tested and really works !

BlueJava · 15/05/2018 20:50

Don't worry you did fine! If it's anything like us we still tell the family story of how DS1 could be heard all around the hospital and carpark screaming as he had a small glass reindeer leg removed from his foot. Once the reindeer leg was removed he was still screaming and we had to shout at him to stop as he hadn't realised it was all over.

Original poster
Pettyspaghetti · 15/05/2018 20:50

I thought the ice would have helped numb the area to stop it from hurting Blush

OP posts:
category12 · 15/05/2018 20:53

Grin Try delving around in the freezer a while and see how comfortable it is.

user1494670108 · 15/05/2018 20:56

Thanks for the advice, I have 3 sites that are splintered after bare arm pruning yesterday.
I'm now sitting with bicarbonate paste and plasters on them all.

Original poster
Pettyspaghetti · 15/05/2018 20:56

category didn’t think it through really, did I? Blush mistakes were definitely made, today will now be known as splintergate in my household!

OP posts:
Ohyesiam · 15/05/2018 20:59

I always put a bit of antiseptic cream and a plaster and it generally draws the splinter.
Hope your night improves x

imamum21 · 15/05/2018 21:05

i had the same issue! my daughters was in her knee got it from the school gym benches. i read if you put pva glue on it when you peel it off the splinter comes out with it, i wish i knew that when i had this issue. i used magnesium sulphate paste which helps draw poison etc out. i had even taken daughter to treatment room as i couldnt get it and everytime she bent her knee it was painful

Hugsythespacecowboy · 15/05/2018 21:09

Children don't always understand the consequences if you leave something like that. Your DH on the other hand should, so yeah he's being a dick.

SirGawain · 15/05/2018 21:12

Try an epsom salts poutice to draw it out.

Layla8 · 15/05/2018 21:12

Don’t need to remove them, they work their way out. Just check all is clean and not becoming infected.

bluerunningshoes · 15/05/2018 21:13

for next time: a handfull of bath salt (epsom salt) into the bath.
then emla cream, wait 20 min and take out.
chocolate button as reward.

balsamicbarbara · 15/05/2018 21:20

I can't help but think if this was the other way around with an overzealous dad performing an unnecessary medical procedure on a distressed child that we'd think he were an idiot then too.. there's a good reason tweezers are not part of any first aid kit.

Pinga · 15/05/2018 21:26

Our trick for this is always water as salt added to water as warm as she can bear. Hold her hand in that for 30 seconds or so. Gradually coax the splinter out. Back in the water if need be and back in again once its gone.

Original poster
Pettyspaghetti · 15/05/2018 21:28

Just messaged DH, was halfway through the bicarb instructions to him when he told me that my mum has came to the rescue! DD is currently snoozing away with magnesium sodium (?) and a plaster on the perpetrator.
Thanks for all the advice Smile I now have a whole list of remedies when this happens again!

OP posts: