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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you lie about kids ages for free entry?

368 replies

coffeeforone · 15/05/2018 15:18

My DS turned two last weekend. We bought advance tickets for an adventure farm on Saturday. Going along with a friend who has a 4 year old and a DD who is 3 months older than DS.

It's free for under 2's and £11 for everyone else. I paid online and bought us all tickets including my DS and her DD, and let my friend know. She is now furious with me as I have apparently wasted £22 by paying for my DS and her DD. She says its normal not to pay for about a year after the cut off, and was shocked that I paid. TBH it didn't cross my mind when booking, but thinking about it they would never know. WIBU?

OP posts:
TheKitchenWitch · 16/05/2018 08:59

It's not theft.
It's fraud.

PuppyMonkey · 16/05/2018 09:04

I love these threads. Grin

MiggeldyHiggins · 16/05/2018 09:43

Coming back to this issue of being willing to acknowledge to yourself when you are doing something wrong, or what the wrong thing is, yes it is a reality that everyone does wrong things. Yes,nit is a reality that at some point everyone lies about something.For some people, knowing that seems to open the door to doing whatever you like and somehow justifies it - so as long as you can say, 'many people do it' or 'this isn't as bad as murder' it somehow feels okay, and people can still think of themselves as good people

Or you know they can honestly be fine with it and still think of themselves as good people. which they probably are.

snewname · 16/05/2018 09:50

Yep I've done it worth no qualms and I am normally honest in other respects. Too honest sometimes.

biscuitraider · 16/05/2018 09:51

It's not theft.
It's fraud

I wonder how many of these fraudulent cases have ever reached the courts. Grin

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 16/05/2018 10:23

Just because something hasn't been prosecuted, that doesn't make it legal or right, @biscuitraider.

Teateaandmoretea · 16/05/2018 10:26

I'm not convinced it's even fraud. You arrive at the attraction and regardless of published price make an offer to the vendor. They can accept or reject/ challenge regardless of rules and let you in or not.

MiggeldyHiggins · 16/05/2018 10:27

Just because something hasn't been prosecuted, that doesn't make it legal or right neither is it automatically illegal or wrong just because you say so

lilyheather1 · 16/05/2018 10:45

As someone who works in a visitor attraction, we fully know people do this! Grin which is why when a child comes in who we suspect is older than the ticket they want to purchase specifies, we ask the child how old they are, not the parent - children never lie!

baxterboi · 16/05/2018 10:48

I don’t know anyone in real life who would pay if they didn’t have to.

It's called being honest.

I'm quite amazed that MN bag up their partners belongings for texting another woman and yet are quite happy to be dishonest and cost small businesses money.

MiggeldyHiggins · 16/05/2018 10:49

'm quite amazed that MN bag up their partners belongings for texting another woman and yet are quite happy to be dishonest and cost small businesses money

I'm amazed anyone thinks cheating on your partner is anything like paying a 2 year old price for a three year old. Shows complete lack of critical thinking skills,

DamsonOnThisDress · 16/05/2018 10:52

No but only because my daughter is very tall and has always looked older than she is and my son is very black and white and would loudly declare "I am not x! I am y yrs old!". He'd never let that slide.

I don't see much wrong with it - not a big deal either way but for your friend to be furious? That's a bit much.

Bumpitybumper · 16/05/2018 10:53

@MiggeldyHiggins it's not just posters randomly saying something is wrong. The rules are clear and you are intentionally choosing to break them for your own personal gain. The attraction loses out on money it is entitled to and might be relying on to cover their overheads.

I honestly think there is so much cognitive dissonance going on in this thread it's frightening. People like to consider themselves to be good and honest, yet their actions in regards to these attractions is completely dishonest and is depriving the owner of the attraction the money that they are entitled to. I think it makes it easier for people to reconcile in their own minds if they see it as a victimless "crime" or a legitimate loophole. Neither of these interpretations are right and it's the kind of logic that would be quickly dismissed if you tried to use it as a defence for other dishonest activities.

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 16/05/2018 10:55

Both DC here are long-legged giants so there's no way they'd pass for under their ages; DS1 has been as tall as me since he was 10. Plus they take great delight in being ridiculous so would shout "I'm not even seven, I'm twenty three" if I tried to lie about their ages.

SleightOfMind · 16/05/2018 10:55

I pay. At three or four, all of mine would have been highly indignant at being described as a two year old and I wouldn’t want to ask them to lie.

baxterboi · 16/05/2018 11:02

I'm amazed anyone thinks cheating on your partner is anything like paying a 2 year old price for a three year old. Shows complete lack of critical thinking skills,

Lol hitting me where it hurts, my critical thinking skills

MiggeldyHiggins · 16/05/2018 11:03

's not just posters randomly saying something is wrong. The rules are clear and you are intentionally choosing to break them for your own personal gain

Rules and personal morality may well be at odds though, and one doesn't automatically trump the other. Some rules are made to be broken.
Again, its not objectively wrong because someone else says so.

MiggeldyHiggins · 16/05/2018 11:04

Lol hitting me where it hurts, my critical thinking skills

You don't seem to have any, so it shouldn't hurt at all. And you won't be able to work out why anyway....

Bumpitybumper · 16/05/2018 11:21

@MiggeldyHiggins Are you an arnachist? Do you take such a flexible approach with all rules and do you support others doing the same? If you were in a queue for hours on end and I decided to just cut in would that be ok as I wasn't breaking any law? What about the bits of the law that don't match with your or my morals? What if I wasn't morally opposed to going in your house and taking all your stuff?

I just think you are introducing elements of grey when there really are none. All businesses and society in general relies on rules to protect people's rights and to keep resources available. Disregarding (reasonable) rules because they don't suit you is fundamentally wrong. You don't have to enter an attraction that you believe is overpriced. If you don't agree with an attraction's pricing strategy then simply don't go, it really is as simple as that. You are wrong to gain entry through deceptive means.

ScurfyTwiglet · 16/05/2018 11:22

Lots of people getting very sanctimonious about a non-issue.

At the end of the day, a business has the right to refuse or admit entry at the discretion of the staff on the gates. Trust me, they would much rather you and your little one was were there, with full-paying older children and adults, having fun, buying things from their gift shop and ordering lunch from their cafe. IMO it is quite easy to see that it makes much better business sense to turn a blind eye to the ages of the little ones and simply trust the parents, who will hopefully enjoy the experience and come back. If it was my business, I couldn't give a shiny shit if your infant is 2 or 3, I simply want your family there! Yes there has to be some sort of price structure and probably about 30-40% of parents are going to be honest, which is great for me. But I'm not going to quibble or cry over a few months or even years when it comes to infants. Nobody cares.

Bumpitybumper · 16/05/2018 11:29

ScurfyTwiglet Your post makes perfect sense except that the business does care as it has set a pricing strategy that clearly specifies what different groups should pay. If they weren't bothered about entrance fees then they wouldn't charge any or lower them.

Cognitive dissonance again. Even though the pricing strategy is clear and I am purposely contravening it, it's fine and I'm still a good person as I have unilaterally decided that they don't actually care about their pricing strategy and making money through the admissions.

I imagine different attractions have different business models and some will be massively reliant on entrance fees to pay staff etc. I know quite a few theme parks etc that have had to close due to financial issues, but hey, I'm sure all these people diddling them out of money had absolutely no impact...

MiggeldyHiggins · 16/05/2018 11:38

Are you an arnachist? Do you take such a flexible approach with all rules and do you support others doing the same?

I'm not an anarchist. I just have higher level moral understanding, unlike people who are stuck in the rule based mid level moral code. I don't folllow rules just because they exist, I follow them if and when I deem them to be useful, appropriate and fair.

I just think you are introducing elements of grey when there really are none

There are always grey areas. In fact there is almost nothing in this world which is black and white.

JoffreyMonfrere · 16/05/2018 11:39

No. But i agree with my son pretending to be 15 on the bus. Bus fares are extortionate in our city. 16 year olds are supposed to pay adult prices. I don't know why. He is still at school year 11. He hasn't suddenly started earning a wage to pay his own way.
He is still a child at school yet is expected to pay almost double.

happymummy12345 · 16/05/2018 11:42

I wouldn't. I couldn't. It's wrong.

Bumpitybumper · 16/05/2018 11:47

MiggedlyHiggins

"I'm not an anarchist. I just have higher level moral understanding, unlike people who are stuck in the rule based mid level moral code."
No, choosing to disregard rules because you want to save yourself a few quid does not mean you have a superior level of moral understanding.

"I don't folllow rules just because they exist, I follow them if and when I deem them to be useful, appropriate and fair."
Right so a private attraction charging an entrance fee to enter their property and access their facilities is not useful (the money pays staff and will contribute to economy), appropriate (charging an entrance fee is a pretty standard thing) or fair (noone is forced to pay and prices are available beforehand so people can make an informed decision).

Never mind, your superior levels of comprehension regarding what is morally right or wrong (or completely grey) still means your a good, decent person Hmm