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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do you lie about kids ages for free entry?

368 replies

coffeeforone · 15/05/2018 15:18

My DS turned two last weekend. We bought advance tickets for an adventure farm on Saturday. Going along with a friend who has a 4 year old and a DD who is 3 months older than DS.

It's free for under 2's and £11 for everyone else. I paid online and bought us all tickets including my DS and her DD, and let my friend know. She is now furious with me as I have apparently wasted £22 by paying for my DS and her DD. She says its normal not to pay for about a year after the cut off, and was shocked that I paid. TBH it didn't cross my mind when booking, but thinking about it they would never know. WIBU?

OP posts:
Rufustheyawningreindeer · 18/05/2018 20:47

Are you in there for long SDT?

Grin
KappaKappa · 18/05/2018 20:48

I never have and never would

WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam · 18/05/2018 20:50

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius 😂😂

Hope you didn't rack up too many parking opportunities/murder charges etc :P

KappaKappa · 18/05/2018 20:51

My FIL says that integrity is how you behave when no one is looking. I've always liked that very much.

I like this. For me, lying is lying in this sort of situation no matter how much people try to justify it.

VanGoghsLeftEar · 18/05/2018 20:53

Yes I have. Not proud of it. Can't get away with it now as my 11 year old looks older and it getting very, very tall...

Rufustheyawningreindeer · 18/05/2018 21:11

Im not justifying it

Dh definitely told a lie...

ChocolateWombat · 18/05/2018 22:14

I suspect people are trying to say morality is SUBJECTIVE rather than objective.

I'm not sure this issue is really about differing moralities. Lots of people clearly do lie about their children's ages, but I don't think they do it because they have thought about it and decided it is morally right to lie about it and would be immoral to pay the full price. The reason they do it is quite simply that they don't want to pay the price the business is charging. They know that they are lying - of course, saying your child is one age when they are another, or requesting a ticket for an age group that your child doesn't fit into is lying.

I suppose morality comes into whether you think it's okay to choose what to pay, rather than pay the price set by the business. Many could call this fraudulent activity. Others seem to see this instead as 'bargain hunting' (although I would say a bargain is a low price set by the seller, not a low a buyer fancies paying). I'm not sure anyone would really say that doing this is 'right' and how many would go as far as to say it is not 'wrong' but actually just something they and others do. Saying you do it, doesn't mean you are saying it's right. And some people are certainly more willing than others to do lots of things that they know are not right and to varying degrees people are willing to accept to others and themselves that they are not right. They say that the more wrong things you do, the more your moral compass is blunted, so judging what is right or not becomes more difficult and more and more behaviours which many might question, feel more and more acceptable.

As others say on this thread. No one is perfect. No one does everything right. I don't think anyone is suggesting they do. And for someone to say lying about a child's age is wrong and they wouldn't do it, isn't the same as them saying that all people who do do this are evil and that themesleves who don't do it are better people. Lots of people who engage in lying about their children's ages and who failing pay the price businesses charge for children if that age, decide that the posters who wouldn't lie are judgey or highly critical of them.....probably I think because they are sensitive to the comments, because of course they know in their hearts that lying and cheating people out of money isn't really right behaviour. And when people feel others have a genuine case, they often become very defensive about it and come up with all kinds of reasons to justify their behaviour, when really knowing there is something in the criticism.

So I don't lie about my children's ages. I would see paying the wrong price as a form of theft. I feel awkward if I'm out with others who do it and I think that if you're not willing to pay the prices charged, you just shouldn't go. There will be other things I probably do that aren't right behaviour which perhaps others might be shocked by. Some of what I do, others might not like or might think immoral or questionable.

This thread isn't categorising people into good people and bad people, based on one action. In the end, we all do bad things at different times. However, that's not to say, that these individual things don't matter, or just becaue other people do different bad things, it's okay to lie and cheat businesses. Knowing others do different bad things can sometimes make people feel they have permission or the right to choose their own bad things and everyone can have some.

With all this stuff, in the end, I think a better approach to life isn't 'how far can I push it and what can I get away with and how far can I bend the morality or the law or whatever and just about feel okay about myself' but why not the opposite, and how little can I try to do this.

I am surprised at how people's consciences work sometimes and particularly how people justify their actions to themselves or on MN - they rarely want to just say 'i do wrong, I know it and own it' - this applies to people who steal from shops because their income is low and they have decided that they or their kids are as entitled to all the stuff richer people have, and that money shouldn't be a barrier to having stuff or experiences (one if the arguments used on this thread). Others are happy to cheat on their spouse or partner and come up with all kinds of justifications, while many would think cheating is wrong. Others steal or tell their children to steal school uniform from others, or trainers, or bikes, or coats. Others will hide a child in the boot of their car to avoid paying for them to enter an attraction, while others will climb over the railings to avoid paying for a festival or concert. Some will slip items into their bag in the supermarket or not scan all items at the self checkout. Others deliberately place items on the counter in front of a shop assistant ringing up the items, so one can't really be seen and then justify it by saying the shop assistant made the mistake. Some people fake tickets or ID so someone can get a better deal. Some buy online to obtain discounts they don't qualify for. Some people lie to schools about their children being ill when they are going on a term time holiday. Some people might not be perfect, but try not to do the things mentioned above.

People have a choice about how to behave. Some are more desensitised to how their behaviour impacts others, some are more selfish and interested in themselves and others have a broader view of society and other people. We could all do with being more honest with ourselves about our own behaviour.

Rufustheyawningreindeer · 18/05/2018 22:57

I generally lie to make them older so they can get on rides

I dont do anything chocolate mentions Shock

MotherofDinosaurs · 18/05/2018 23:12

I do this all the time, quite happy to lie to save a few quid on days put with my little'un, and am not hurting anyone. I'm an actor so lies are my stock in trade. I guess that means I don't view lying in general as morally reprehensible like a lot of people seem to.
Am quite happy with my own moral compass.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 19/05/2018 00:01

I'm an actor so lies are my stock in trade. I guess that means I don't view lying in general as morally reprehensible like a lot of people seem to

Do you really think that working as an actor means that you view dishonesty differently? Interpreting a script/following direction and lying about your children to save a few quid in a theme park bear no relation to each other whatsoever to me. Confused As posters have said upthread, if you do it, just own it. "I'm an actor so it's different for me" just sounds a bit like an excuse?

Incidentally, I believe the total opposite about acting actually. I prefer to think of it as a form of truth, not lies.

JoffreyMonfrere · 19/05/2018 05:59

I wonder if the company would prefer it if 2 adults and a very young child went to their attraction and 'only' paid entrance for 2 adults ( they take, say, £100); or whether they would prefer it if none of them went at all, and they took nothing?

rainbowdashflip · 19/05/2018 07:58

I wonder if the company would prefer it if 2 adults and a very young child went to their attraction and 'only' paid entrance for 2 adults ( they take, say, £100); or whether they would prefer it if none of them went at all, and they took nothing?

That's your justification Hmm

Oh dear.

rainbowdashflip · 19/05/2018 07:59

I'm an actor so lies are my stock in trade. I guess that means I don't view lying in general as morally reprehensible like a lot of people seem to.

You mean you can't separate work and real life Confused

jaffacake2 · 19/05/2018 08:11

When my children were young i used the buy an adult ticket and get a child in free with the coupons from cereal packets. Trouble was as a single parent with 2 children i needed another adult. So I would ask the next person in the queue whether they would mind taking one of mine with them through the entrance. People were lovely when they realised that it wouldn't cost them money and that they wouldn't have the child for the day !!
Was that fraud ?

HotChocChick · 19/05/2018 08:25

Yes at Legoland. My DD went at 2 years old and was free of charge. Went the following year and didn't pay due to the principle that she still wasn't tall enough to go on any more rides than the year before! They would be better off charging by height restrictions Wink

Guilin · 19/05/2018 10:38

I wonder if the company would prefer it if 2 adults and a very young child went to their attraction and 'only' paid entrance for 2 adults ( they take, say, £100); or whether they would prefer it if none of them went at all, and they took nothing?

No, they would prefer all entrants to pay their full price! The parks have a limited capacity, and particularly at peak times like summer holidays, they are full or at least so full, that some people are put off from going - but those people might well have been prepared to pay their full price.

The parks have to cover their running costs, the return the investors require and investment in new and better rides - if some people commit theft by not paying the cost of running the park, then the park has to achieve profitability somehow, and they will do that by raising the entrance fees for everybody else. People, who don't pay full price are not committing theft and fraud from some big faceless corporation, they are doing it to the other people in the park around them - who may well be the honest single parents, who have saved up for ages to treat their kids; or the teenagers, who have worked hours for below the minimum wage in part time jobs after school.

All those of you do lie - how would you feel, if your employer took the attitude that they could not afford to employ all the staff? Your employer instead falsified your payslips; it appeared your PAYE and NI were more than they actually should be (and the employer kept back the false PAYE and NI for themselves), so that your net pay was say £500 pa less than it should be? How many of you check your tax code against the PAYE and NI on your payslip every months? Would you agree that stealing your wages from you is justified, on the basis that the employer can't afford the wage, you negotiated when you took the job?

Steeley113 · 19/05/2018 10:45

I do it. I don’t even feel a little bit bad about it.

MiggeldyHiggins · 19/05/2018 11:04

I suspect people are trying to say morality is SUBJECTIVE rather than objective

That fact that even needs to spelled out, never mind that you struggle to grasp it even when it is explained to you, means that your (collective) sense of morality is naive and childlike.

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