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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you lie about kids ages for free entry?

368 replies

coffeeforone · 15/05/2018 15:18

My DS turned two last weekend. We bought advance tickets for an adventure farm on Saturday. Going along with a friend who has a 4 year old and a DD who is 3 months older than DS.

It's free for under 2's and £11 for everyone else. I paid online and bought us all tickets including my DS and her DD, and let my friend know. She is now furious with me as I have apparently wasted £22 by paying for my DS and her DD. She says its normal not to pay for about a year after the cut off, and was shocked that I paid. TBH it didn't cross my mind when booking, but thinking about it they would never know. WIBU?

OP posts:
Springnowplease · 17/05/2018 06:57

Yet you are happy to make the rest of us pay more because of your dishonesty. I hope you don't pass your lack of moral compass on to your kids.

He11y · 17/05/2018 07:05

Yes I do and I don’t feel any shame about it.

I passed my 25 year old off as 16 once - she didn’t think we’d get away with it but nobody batted an eyelid. I’ve also been married to female friends many times to get a family rate.

Probably wouldn’t for a small venue but they don’t tend to charge high prices anyway so no need.

He11y · 17/05/2018 07:08

I know real life people who won’t lie - it’s not only on mumsnet - they do exist! I’m just not one of them! Grin

Brendatheblender · 17/05/2018 07:09

My mum tried doing this at Disney world when under 4s got in free.

I politely pointed out that I was actually 4.

DM still reminds me of this to this day!

He11y · 17/05/2018 07:10

My children are used to asking what age they are today - or they were when they were younger so I’m pretty sure I passed it onto them. Grin

specialsubject · 17/05/2018 09:25

so hopefully they wont whine when ripped off or cheated as mummy said it was ok.

now i know why people get jobs in the scam call centres. taught by their parents to defraud.

Mumto2two · 17/05/2018 09:33

No I have never done this, and I would never want to set that example for my children. Honesty is far too important, in every aspect of life, not just buying tickets. And once you start to learn the art of lying, it can become a bigger web than the one you started, that wraps you up in the end.
It might seem innocent enough...but the principle is huge.

Frazzled2207 · 17/05/2018 09:46

I have but only for example you needed to be under 3 to get in free and it was a few days after his birthday.

Typically every very small child that goes into an attraction will have an adult going in paying full whack so it's not like they're not making much money out of you!

They're we

Worlds0kayestmum · 17/05/2018 10:04

I do at the moment, my DS was premature and developmentally and size he is a few months behind his actual age so I go by his due date for entry

TheVanguardSix · 17/05/2018 10:07

No. I don't.

HeedMove · 17/05/2018 10:15

I always pay. My children are super tall and even when they were free wed still get a raised eyebrow. My ds is at preschool and the amount of people who ask when we are out in the afternoon should you not be at school is ridiculous. When I say no he doesnt start till August (you rude nosey fucker) they always reply oh you are a big boy! We tend to go the other way and pretend they are older so they can do certain things that are age restricted even though they are the height of an average child that age. So wed pretend my ds was 5 when he was 4 so he could go on bigger slides at local farm park.

MagicFajita · 17/05/2018 10:20

I've done it in the past.

When you're a single parent , earning low and receiving no cm it's the difference between going to the zoo or going to the park.

Fitzsimmons · 17/05/2018 10:28

Never tried, but I doubt I'd get away with it with DS who is a giant and would probably call me out if I claimed he was a younger age. Grin

I did go to a charity run place the other week with the in laws who claimed the senior citizens discount off the entry even though they're not senior citizens. They basically conned a charity so I went back after and paid the difference because it left a horrible taste in my mouth. Probably wouldn't have been bothered if it was a major tourist attraction that existed purely for profit.

Tulips2lips · 17/05/2018 11:07

No it isn't theft because you haven't taken anyone's property.

I tried this argument when train fare dodging and they weren't having any of it...

RavenLG · 17/05/2018 11:31

I remember my dad doing it once when I was slightly older. I can’t remember where we were but I think it was a price for under 8s or something and I was 9 and –as I’m short and babyfaced—looked younger, so the till operator clarified “2 adults and an under 8” and my dad said yes, I protested strongly that in fact I was older and couldn’t understand why I was being told off… funny looking back.

WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam · 17/05/2018 11:56

When you're a single parent , earning low and receiving no cm it's the difference between going to the zoo or going to the park.

This mentality baffles me! So go to the park. Don't choose to go somewhere you can't afford and show your kids it's fine to lie to get something you're not otherwise entitled to.

It's a confusing message for kids, I hope you've thought about how to talk to them about lying and theft when they're old enough and how you'll respond if they were aware you did this.

I'm speaking as someone who's been in similar positions btw, not from an ivory tower. But Christ.

MagicFajita · 17/05/2018 12:17

Indeed , I've raised a pair of criminals @WalkingOnAFlashlightBeamHmm

Shame on me for saying dd was 2 when she was actually 3.

Bumpitybumper · 17/05/2018 12:22

@WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam I agree completely.

The justifications that I have seen on this thread have been quite startling. Apparently when we can't afford something we should obtain it through deception so we don't miss out. I can't afford a Chanel handbag so I obviously should just be given one for a price I can afford to pay. The level of entitlement is just insane. Nobody is entitled to attend these attractions. Yes, it's very sad your kids will miss out, but unfortunately that is life and I can guarantee that there will be children all around the world suffering with far worse problems than not being able to get into a theme park.

Also, people say that they can afford to pay the entrance fee but like to save themselves a bit of money. This is often combined with some sentiment that the attraction is overpriced anyway. Well thanks to you lying, prices will almost certainly continue to rise as the attractions still have to cover their overheads. If you don't like the prices, don't go!

Then we have those who say there is no such thing as right and wrong anyway so why get your knickers in a twist about a bit of casual lying or fraud as morality is all relative and subjective. As long as they satisfy themselves that they have acted in a moral way then noone can apply the rules to them. Of course, if you extend this logic to more heinous crimes I'm not sure if they would stand by such a position or for occasions where others living by their own moral code and breaking rules would negatively impact them.

Bumpitybumper · 17/05/2018 12:24

@MagicFajita

The old ridicule and undermine trick. Noone is saying you have raised criminals and you know that. People are saying you have done something that they perceive to be morally wrong and that lying doesn't set a great example to children.

WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam · 17/05/2018 12:31

Indeed , I've raised a pair of criminals

Typical defensive response I've seen everywhere on this thread. I have a lot more respect for people who just admit they made a choice and will live with the consequences if there are any.

Throwing your hands up in the air and sarcastically saying 'oh well, guess I'll be visiting the kids in prison/arranging therapy to help them cope with being taught to lie/well I've raised criminals, so what' is a classic way of shifting the attention and actual discussion away from the topic and relying on exaggeration to discredit, laugh at and undermine opposing views. It's quite lazy really.

Mia1415 · 17/05/2018 12:31

No, I've never done it.

3 reasons:

1- I have morale's and don't steal or lie
2 - I'd fell guilty the whole time I was there and worried I'd be caught
3 - My DS LOVES telling people how old he is

WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam · 17/05/2018 12:36

Also, people say that they can afford to pay the entrance fee but like to save themselves a bit of money.

Yeah. My favourite justification is 'I love a bargain!'. Well, we all love bargains, finding things on sale or using vouchers. The thing is, a bargain isn't theft of fraud, so it just doesn't hold water.

If I go into Asda, pay for a few items and steal a few at the same time and say 'ooh I love a bargain/saving money' people would rightly say 'that's actually a criminal act, not a bargain'. But it's okay in this situation because it's for an experience not an item? Then how is it theft when people try fare dodge on trains? Is that a bargain?

And the funniest of all, 'well they'd rather you went and didn't pay full price than not go at all'. Sure, Asda would prefer me to go in and steal half of my weekly shop rather than not have me spend any money there at all 🤦🏻‍♀️

I'm not saying I'm great at critical thinking and logic, but the logical fallacies used in this thread to justify not only stealing but also demonstrating to your children that it's okay to steal, would be amusing if it weren't for the message it's giving kids.

llangennith · 17/05/2018 12:36

Yes. For as long as I could get away with it.

WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam · 17/05/2018 12:36

But don't you know Mia1415, EVERYBODY does this in real life, it's only on MN people pretend to be law abiding and attempt to hold some morals Hmm

AhhhhThatsBass · 17/05/2018 12:37

Ahem. I have done it.