Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Have we left it too late to buy a bigger house?

145 replies

braindumpoclock · 14/05/2018 22:21

We're a family of 4 living in a small Victorian terraced house in London, which we've extended to the max. DCs are now aged 14 and 11. Most of our neighbours with kids the same age have long since moved out to bigger houses, and have been replaced with younger couples who are starting new families. We've been happy here, but it's small, and it has always been unsettling to see so many people moving in and out around us.

A year ago, we decided it was time to trade up. We put the house on the market, just as the market ground to a halt. We've had to drop the price a couple of times, but now, finally, we have an asking-price offer. There is also a bigger house in a nice area that we would like to buy and can (just) afford, albeit with a much increased mortgage (our current mortgage will be paid off in 3 years, but the new place will give us a mortgage until we retire).

We should be happy and excited, but we're hesitating. Have we left it too late to trade up? DC1 will be heading to uni in just 4 years, and DC2 in 7 years. If we move to the bigger house we will have more space for them to live with us into their adult years if they need to. But maybe we should stay where we are, and use our spare money to buy them a property instead? I can't work out what I want to do - the thought of staying is sometimes comforting and sometimes depressing - the thought of moving is sometimes exciting and sometimes a scary over-commitment.

How on earth do we decide? By trading up we'd be doing what most people do, but we do have some friends who are choosing to prioritise future properties for their children instead of bigger properties for themselves. There's no easy answer, and I know there will be mumsnetters in both camps, but I'm interested in your thoughts and similar experiences.

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 14/05/2018 22:23

I'd stay. Moving is expensive and realistically you've only got a few more years with both kids at home. Plus, being mortgage-free is a huge benefit.

Buggeritimgettingup · 14/05/2018 22:24

If I was in the position of either paying my mortgage off in three years or bunging loads on til.retirement I know which I'd choose. Can you afford it if the interest rates rise?

thegrinningfox · 14/05/2018 22:25

The thought of a huge morgage until retirement would scare me. I’d much prefer to have a smaller place but spare cash and freedom of choice. Unless you are squashed like sardines of course.

WisteriaWizard · 14/05/2018 22:29

Brain I'm not sure if my experience will help.

We lived similarly in a London terrace with slightly younger kids. Our neighbours all moved too. We moved for a bigger garden to less nice area but still in walking distance of school etc. Our house was much bigger.

It then dawned on us that location is everything and the big house and garden didn't make us any happier and we completely upped sticks for a smaller house and garden than the original house, to live somewhere beautiful outside London, mortgage free.

Leafyhouse · 14/05/2018 22:29

The London property market is falling at the moment - and as the prices fall, the gap between levels falls too. So it could be a good time to step up, if you think the market blip is temporary.

OTOH, once the kids move out, you won't need the extra space, and living mortgage free in London is an absolutely gift if you can get it. So maybe you'd be better off staying where you are.

So...um... in conclusion... not very helpful, sorry!

Mybabystolemysanity · 14/05/2018 22:30

I'm not sure I can see the point in taking on a big mortgage if your children will likely leave at some point soon(ish). If you are fortunate enough to be able to gift some money for a house deposit, I can tell you it goes a long way (DH and I have turned £10k of ours and a £5k gift from his parents into £60k in 7 years and two houses. Scotland, so property cheaper but prices rising faster than we can keep up).

Would some creative interior design make your current setup more suitable for older DC's?

Only other suggestion would be a rental property that covers it's running costs in the interim which could be sold at a profit when it's time for a house deposit?

chandlersfraud · 14/05/2018 22:32

Do they each have their own rooms? Do you have an eat in kitchen and a living room? I think if so then I'd stay. If they're sharing a room - maybe not.

Mooneyes · 14/05/2018 22:32

You'll be mortgage free on three years and more or less empty nesters in less than ten.... With Brexit looming, I think you'd be mad to move

KeepingTheWormsQuiet · 14/05/2018 22:35

Are your sons sharing a room? Plenty of kids do this, but it's not ideal.

If they have their own rooms (even if one is box room) I'd stay put and get rid of the mortgage in three years. It will take so much pressure off you.

Itslookinglikeabeautifulday · 14/05/2018 22:36

In your position I would definitely move to a larger place - then when your DCs are older, consider downsizing and using some of the equity to get them on the property ladder. If you buy them a property now you'll presumably need to rent it out for a few years and personally, I wouldn't like to take the chance of getting none-paying tenants from hell (tho I am quite risk averse). And all the time it's rented out, you're still living in a house that by the sounds of it isn't quite large enough for your family's needs.

Fruitcorner123 · 14/05/2018 22:41

for me it depends how small the house is. 11 is still quite young and no guarantee they will be leaving home at 18.

If it's got the room you need stay. if you're struggling for space move.

Middleoftheroad · 14/05/2018 22:43

We traded up a year ago (twin DCs then 11). We were over a barrel with school though. I miss my old house and area so much and lower mortgage.

BUT...my old house was not making any money since we moved. This house is much more 'saleable' and although it cost lots to.move, I hope that if we can sit it out it will make far more. Then we can downsize when kids at uni.

Hohofortherobbers · 14/05/2018 22:46

I'd choose mortgage free any day

IDismyname · 14/05/2018 22:52

Do you have any outside space in which to put a studio? That could give you a bit of elbow room. Far cheaper than moving!

athingthateveryoneneeds · 14/05/2018 22:58

How small is small?

Being mortgage free is very, very appealing.

teaandtoast · 14/05/2018 22:59

I think I'd stay put, if you're otherwise happy with the house and area.

If your kids were at uni now/had left home etc would you stay in your current house?

ferriswheel · 14/05/2018 22:59

Definitely mortgage free.

nakedscientist · 14/05/2018 23:01

I would definitely move to a larger place - then when your DCs are older, consider downsizing and using some of the equity to get them on the property ladder

^this. Move OP, the kids get bigger and then bring round all their big friends!

Chottie · 14/05/2018 23:05

I would stay put too. I would hate the idea of having a mortgage around my neck all those years.

The job market is so insecure, I would be saving all the higher mortgage money instead and building up a nest egg for the future.

braindumpoclock · 14/05/2018 23:05

Yes, they have their own rooms, but my 14yo is 6'1" and in a room that is just over 7' wide! However, we do have a bigger spare room, which we use for grandparents, so we could reconfigure if we stay.

I guess a lot depends on the housing market. If we trade up, and then prices rise, we'd be able to sell at any point in the future and release our equity, pay off the mortgage, etc. If they don't rise we're a bit stuck. The people who are selling the house we want to buy are trying to release equity for their own twenty-somethings, but they've chosen a bad time to do it with the market slowing, and they certainly aren't going to get as much for it as they were led to believe it was worth a few months ago.

OP posts:
PickAChew · 14/05/2018 23:14

It would be cheaper to put grandparents up in a nice hotel than to move!

toddlermom · 14/05/2018 23:18

Totally agree with above!!! Give DS spare room!! Put grandparents in a hotel and give yourselves more space!! Easy!
And a garden studio if you still need more space and can??

Spectre8 · 14/05/2018 23:22

To many unknowns for me to move.

Personally I'd rather be mortgage free and save save save so I have choices like lets retire early or lets go part time. What if your kids end up getting a job in another part of the UK? or go abroad? What if you or your partner falls ill later on....the security of knowing you are mortgage free is imo priceless.

missymayhemsmum · 14/05/2018 23:23

Move if you can comfortably afford it. In the next decade or so you will want space for teenage exam strops, parties, girlfriends/boyfriends and for when they return from uni with all their belongings, a dog and a partner. Not to mention elderly parents?? Grandchildren??
If it's going to overstretch you stay put.

blue25 · 14/05/2018 23:23

I think moving will cause more stress, especially extending the Mortgage til retirement. Mortgage free living is amazing and gives you so much freedom.

Swipe left for the next trending thread