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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Have we left it too late to buy a bigger house?

145 replies

braindumpoclock · 14/05/2018 22:21

We're a family of 4 living in a small Victorian terraced house in London, which we've extended to the max. DCs are now aged 14 and 11. Most of our neighbours with kids the same age have long since moved out to bigger houses, and have been replaced with younger couples who are starting new families. We've been happy here, but it's small, and it has always been unsettling to see so many people moving in and out around us.

A year ago, we decided it was time to trade up. We put the house on the market, just as the market ground to a halt. We've had to drop the price a couple of times, but now, finally, we have an asking-price offer. There is also a bigger house in a nice area that we would like to buy and can (just) afford, albeit with a much increased mortgage (our current mortgage will be paid off in 3 years, but the new place will give us a mortgage until we retire).

We should be happy and excited, but we're hesitating. Have we left it too late to trade up? DC1 will be heading to uni in just 4 years, and DC2 in 7 years. If we move to the bigger house we will have more space for them to live with us into their adult years if they need to. But maybe we should stay where we are, and use our spare money to buy them a property instead? I can't work out what I want to do - the thought of staying is sometimes comforting and sometimes depressing - the thought of moving is sometimes exciting and sometimes a scary over-commitment.

How on earth do we decide? By trading up we'd be doing what most people do, but we do have some friends who are choosing to prioritise future properties for their children instead of bigger properties for themselves. There's no easy answer, and I know there will be mumsnetters in both camps, but I'm interested in your thoughts and similar experiences.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 15/05/2018 22:22

Seven years is a long time, and kids don't actually usually leave home as such when they go to uni, they come home for weekends and holidays and they get a shit ton of long holidays. And if they do a masters it takes four years, that's eleven years before the youngest leaves home.

Then normally they come back save for a deposit, look for a job, get themselves settled.

Can you really afford to buy them a property each? What if they work in London? House prices in ten years will be likely astronomical.

So what you hold a deposit in trust? Till they can afford their own mortgage? When's that going to be 15 years?

You could down size in 15 years and take the equity out your larger house and give it to them. It would likely be worth a shit lot more than if you just put it in the bank. My house has made over 100k in 4 years. What interest rate will you need to get that return on your savings?

Oh and yes, you get to live in thr bigger house for those 15 years.

Ikeameatballs · 15/05/2018 22:22

Given what you’ve said I would definitely move!!!

stellarfox · 15/05/2018 22:24

Hmm sounds like there isn’t a clearcut answer. I suppose it depends on your priorities. Maybe do a pros and cons list to help you decide? Prices in London aren’t great right now but that goes for the property you are buying as well as your existing house. From what you have said I would probably stay as there are only four of you but move your son if he wants more space. I would look at interior design options for creating more space with what you have got.

Wincher · 15/05/2018 22:40

This is really interesting to read as I can see us being in your shoes in a few years. We also live in a pretty small London terrace, extended to the max, with 3 bedrooms + external office, with 2 kids (currently 4 and 7). We keep wondering about upsizing, as we could now afford somewhere bigger by taking on a huge mortgage - we got lucky with the property market so we're currently overpaying lots and ought to be able to pay our current mortgage off within 8-10 years. I keep thinking that now is the time we could do with a bigger house and garden (current one is a shady postage stamp) and in ten years it won't be worth doing. However we love our area and there is nothing really worth the extra money and stamp duty within easy reach of our primary school. If we stay put long term we can probably afford private secondary fees, whereas if we move all our spare cash will go on the mortgage and it will be a bit of a millstone. Oh I don't know.

AhhhhThatsBass · 15/05/2018 22:47

Location Location Location and all that; is the new place in as nice an area?
Have you done the basement already? That would give them good space to get out from under your noses.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 15/05/2018 23:32

Based on your answers I think the balance is in favour of moving. Your DC are still young enough to benefit from the extra space

PickAChew · 16/05/2018 00:03

On the new info, definitely move!

Have done a similar move, recently. Boys the same age. Moved from generous 2 bed to roomy 3 bed in a much more expensive area. Could have achieved one of our aims of accessing free transport to ds2's special school by moving to another cheap area but have gained amenities and transport links with the move.

Wasn't going to automatically recommend it to you, tough, as our move was from mortgage free £60k house in the NE to £200k house with 110k mortgage until I am 70!

shinysinkredemption · 16/05/2018 06:47

I can't believe you're thinking of staying put having read the update!!

We moved from a flat to a house when the children were born and I couldn't believe how nice it was to have a comfortable amount of living space, a proper garden, wide rooms with big windows etc.

And off street parking, once you have it, is just bliss.

AvoidingDM · 16/05/2018 07:03

I thought staying was the best decision but in light of your update, schools, layout of the existing house, parking I think I'd move.

Good luck

Trethew · 16/05/2018 07:46

Me too. Your update has changed my mind. Move

stopthecavalry · 16/05/2018 07:51

Yes move. New house sounds lovely

athingthateveryoneneeds · 16/05/2018 09:10

I think the balance is in favour of moving as well.

SarfE4sticated · 16/05/2018 09:36

Crikey OP, why are you even hesitating, go and enjoy your new spacious home.
If you ever need your parents to come and stay with you for a while, it sounds like you would have the potential for a downstairs bedroom too.

NoSquirrels · 16/05/2018 12:44

Oh, move then! I would, even though I’d love to be mortgage free. Even if you’re only in the bigger house 10 years, day, you’ll get so much benefit in that time with 2 teens.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 16/05/2018 12:55

PP are saying stay and save the money for your kids, but it's swings and roundabouts - if you move you'll have to pay the mortgage, if you stay you put the money into savings. Property is likely to give you the bigger return in the long term. We're in a similar situation in as much as the mortgage would be paid off in 3 years but we're moving to an area we love with a bigger mortgage but where we are is not where we want to be the rest of our lives. This mortgage will also take me to retirement, but hope we can pay it off earlier or downsize later in life. If you love your house stay, if it's not your forever home move before it's too late.

NMcD · 27/06/2018 14:10

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BananaHarvest · 27/06/2018 14:14

Move. Our last is at university but we need more room now as they all come back frequently with partners or several friends to stay over. As I get older I’m less willing to squash in and don’t want inlaws to sleep in our bed with us on a sofa bed. Space is lovely.

ImSuchABigIdiot · 27/06/2018 14:22

DH and I have turned £10k of ours and a £5k gift from his parents into £60k in 7 years and two houses.

@Mybabystolemysanity, do you mind me asking how you invested the £10k and £5k to get £60k? I’m looking into investing/saving some money at the moment and would be really interested to hear any tips. Sorry - I know it’s quite an intrusive question! Would you mind PMing me maybe?

Sorry OP for derailing the thread!

OverTheHedgeHammy · 27/06/2018 14:29

Hmm, the difference between the two houses is actually quite significant in terms of lifestyle....

If you have a house that you and your DC loved spending time in, you then WILL spend more time in it! And just because they head off to university doesn't mean they will 'leave' home. Besides, wouldn't it be nice if they could have some of their friends come back with them some of the holidays?

I would move. But in the full knowledge that if in 10 years time it was too much space, then I would look at moving again if need be. Moving doesn't mean it will be permanent!

Poptart4 · 27/06/2018 14:48

I think its really shitty of you to make your son sleep in a tiny room in his own home while occasional guests get a bigger room. Wtf!

Give your son the bigger room and be mortgage free in 3 yrs.

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