To ask how many extra activities your kids do out of school?

[Divaqueen121]

When I was younger I used to do swimming, tennis, 3 types of dancing, 2 musical instruments, rainbows/brownies and my brother used to do around the same amount, my parents really didn’t have much money and it was a real struggle for them to send us but our choice as we begged to go to these things.
I have 2dd’s and 1ds, they have got to be the laziest kids - the little one does gymnastics but the older 2 do nothing except for swimming which I make them all attend all they want to do is play on the iPad/Xbox etc.
AIBU to want them to do these things or do kids just not do as much these days?

I used to do swimming, girl guides, play three instruments, was in a band and done drama at school.

Ds1 (18), USED to do swimming, water polo, football, rugby, play an instrument, do debating and young fire fighters. He now works part time whilst doing A-Levels, so does no activities except swimming.

Ds2 (14) does football outside of school and rugby in school. Goes swimming occasionally. He is thinking about learning to play the sax (one of my Instruments), but the lessons are so expensive now!
With football and rugby, he gets through three pairs of boots each per year, that's £100 a time, then kit, training kit, weekly subs, mouth guards, it all adds up.

Activities are so expensive now compared to when I was a teenager. Then you add in that except for football, we had to travel 10-15 miles for each activity. The petrol costs really add up.

10 yr old does brownies, ballet and swimming. Plus she has a tutor one night a week. She ha recently dropped piano. 7 yr old does brownies and swimming. Dropped dance a while back. There are parents at school whose kids to 6+ activities a week. Way too much IMO. Kids also need downtime.

I think it’s a matter of balance. DD9 does a bit less than she used to but it’s better for her & we get some nice one to one time. She has badminton after school Mondays, animation club then street dance Tuesdays & gymnastics Thursdays. She used to have a club on Wednesdays, choir on Thursdays, swimming lessons & when she was little karate & ballet. As she no longer has swimming lessons, we try to take her fairly often & we are increasing her exercise generally as she gets upset about her tummy & her clothes feeling uncomfortable.
I try to avoid activities at weekends - the ballet was quite early on Saturday mornings which was a pain.

Oh yes & she used to go to Brownies but all they did was eat! And 2 years ago she was learning guitar - I am sad that she stopped but there was no practicing ever! Would really like her to learn another instrument.

I have 3 primary aged DC.

11y.o. does football, scouts, climbing. He did do drama club but that was a school club and is finished for the year. He used to go swimming but swapped to climbing when he was a competent swimmer.

7 y.o. does football, guitar (will be giving up at end of term as doesn’t practise), tae-Kwan-do twice a week, swimming.

5 y.o. Only does swimming at the moment but will be doing rainbows when she gets a place and football from September.

The 2 younger ones want to do street dance but I am struggling to find the right club for them both around their other activities.

Dd1 does dance one evening and all day on Saturday. Two hours a week English tutoring.

DS 2 Karate and two hours English tutoring

DD 3 cheerleading two nights a week. One hour maths tutoring and horse riding on Saturdays

Dd1 and DS 1 Re 16 and 17 and they no longer do organized activities.

It does get cheaper as they get older thank god.

Both my boths have learnt to play a musical instrument (different ones). This was their only after school activity apart from one DS who did bronze D of E. They are both really into gaming on XBox and PS4 but do meet friends outside for cinema etc this has never worried us as we both work in IT/Software.

DD 11 does 4 types of dance, martial arts and swimming. Also she is in the school production, plus some after school sports teams.

DS 6 does football, martial arts and competitive swimming (4 sessions a week) he is not yet old enough for school teams.

These are their own choices and they go happily. Very expensive and time consuming, but I don’t feel so much guilt about their Xbox/iPad time!

Daughter: 4 types of dance plus strengthening for dancers class, flute, acro gymnastics, swimming. She'd do more if she could, she's ridiculously energetic

Son: nothing. He just doesn't want to. He's recently voiced an interest in karate, so I'm going to look into that.

DD dances 3-4 times per week. She’s there between 12-23 hours per week depending on what’s happening. She also does Guides once per week. All her choice. I occasionally try to talk her into reducing it somehow but she’s having none of it. We are not well off but we find the money for her as I believe a good hobby throughout the teen years is very helpful.

Ds is 11.

Martial arts twice a week.
Junior lifesaving once a week.
Music lessons twice a week ( 2 different instruments)
Scouts

I suspect things will change when he starts high school.

The older two do one main sport (DS1 who's 13 plays hockey and DS2 who's 10 plays football) so they train twice a week and usually have one match each at the weekend. That's different in the summer for the hockey playing one, as he does county development training, and plays in summer league (so he had two matches on Friday last week) so his schedule is more full on that his younger brother's. They both also do one extra after school but school organised activity a week - rounders club and gym.

DD does three activities out of school - art club, Girl's brigade and Gymnastics.

We also pay for a family membership of our local lido, so tend to go swimming for an hour or two on 3/4 evenings over the summer, and DS1 often goes straight from school with his mates.

In between activities, and once all school work is done and the dog is walked etc, the older two love nothing more than zoning out on their games console. I'm happy for them to do it though, because they're non stop most of the time, so their relaxation time is exactly that.

Ds... swimming and football (10)

Dd... swimming and dance (6)

That's all they can do, as I only get 1 evening a week off, and need the car.

With homework, reading and spellings though, I feel it's enough, we live rurally, so they're out with their mates in garden/close/park the rest of the time.

My DS aged 7 only does two, swimming and Beavers. We’re going to add in athletics this term as he’s quite sporty, but that will be more than enough for him.
He’s so busy at school and the childminder’s - he values his downtime. He often moans about going to Beavers after school but always says he’s enjoyed it afterwards. He’s a keen naturalist too so needs time for that all-consuming passion!
Plus we can’t afford more.

When I was at primary school there were free after school clubs. I did something every day! Football and netball with school then privately synchronised swimming and 3 types of dance.

My DCs do 3 types of dance on a Saturday and kickboxing mid week. I want them to swim soon but DD is begging for rainbows, singing, drama and a musical instrument! Think she'd have to quit school to fit everything in

DD (9) does swimming and Brownies.
DS (6) does swimming only at the moment but we are looking at football clubs.
With work commitments it will be tricky to fit anything more in.

Rugby, music, musical theatre and forest school. She also goes to her after school club 3 times a week which is basically just playing with her friends and doing a variety of different activities. She’s 5. I don’t want her to do anymore than that because I think it’s important she has down time to chill out and ultimately I think it’s important they’re bored sometimes so that they can learn to entertain themselves and be happy in their own company.

My dds do enough I think.
Dd1, 9, swim club x 3 per week, football training plus match per week, acrobatics, piano, brownies
Dd2, 7, swimming, ballet, Tap, drama, taekwondo, brownies

I like them doing these for loads of reasons;

1. I don't need to limit screen time, they're not in enough
2. I don't think they do enough sport in my dds primary school
3. They enjoy them all (all choice)
4. I want them to find a hobby they love by the time they're teenagers
5. Interestingly, on the day they do nothing, they come home from school, and tv goes straight on. On the days they have activities, they disappear in to their rooms to play before & after. I don't know why!

DD ( 5 years old) does 3 activities.

Eldest does dance, piano, performing arts and swimming each week.

Younger just swimming and on a wait list for rainbows.

The argument is usually the other way around, that kids today do far more extra curricular activities than their parents generation did.

As a child I did weekly swimming lessons, dance (very non-seriously), and Brownies. Then quit dance and swimming and added horse riding. My sister did the same, except she didn’t ride. She went to a Young Ornithologists Club thing instead. Neither of us were sporty by nature. Most of my friends did Brownies or Girls Brigade, most learned to swim, some did a bit of dance when they were young.

Most of my Brownies now do several activities as well as Brownies, including dance, gymnastics, football, rugby, tennis, cookery club, French club, ice skating, choir, musical instruments, athletics, swimming (not all the same child!).

Reading back through your OP you probably just need to make a big deal in a positive way about trying new things. Maybe find some unusual activities to do rather than the usual. I think if I hadn’t been actively seeking out things DD might be interested in and taking her, she would probably not be bothered but now somehow it’s started a cycle of her asking to try things.

My 7 year old does none. She has zero interest, she loves going to the park and playing with her toys in the back garden. She also loves nothing better than reading books! To be honest I genuinely think she just enjoys being with her family as she's at school all day. I'm not going to make her do anything as she's happy the way she is x

Oh and I learned various musical instruments through school... various because I was terrible at all of them not because I was talented! At various times I did recorder, flute, violin, several brass instruments, and keyboard. Most were loaned from the school, only the recorder and keyboard I owned myself.

All I did as a child was drama at the weekend until I was about 10/11 when I decided it wasn’t cool anymore. My dad did also take me to one karate lesson, one ballet lesson and a few horse riding lessons but I decided I didn’t like any of those and stuck with drama.

My DC don’t go to any. I trialled my DS in drama but he hated it and begged not to go back. At the weekend/school holidays we explore the world together and visit plenty of museums/art galleries. That’s more important to me.