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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how many extra activities your kids do out of school?

94 replies

Divaqueen121 · 14/05/2018 11:09

When I was younger I used to do swimming, tennis, 3 types of dancing, 2 musical instruments, rainbows/brownies and my brother used to do around the same amount, my parents really didn’t have much money and it was a real struggle for them to send us but our choice as we begged to go to these things.
I have 2dd’s and 1ds, they have got to be the laziest kids - the little one does gymnastics but the older 2 do nothing except for swimming which I make them all attend all they want to do is play on the iPad/Xbox etc.
AIBU to want them to do these things or do kids just not do as much these days?

OP posts:
RueDeWakening · 14/05/2018 17:26

11 year old does Guides, swimming,chess, and plays an instrument.

8 year old does Cubs and swimming.

4 year old does swimming and will do Beavers when old enough.

DoubleLottchen · 14/05/2018 17:37

I have 2 primary age DC, and they each do 2 after-school activities of their choice, plus one activity (which they both do together) at the weekend.
I feel that's enough running round tbh, they need a bit of time to do homework and then a bit of down time during the week.

ineedamoreadultieradult · 14/05/2018 17:40

DS1 is 11 he does football training twice a week and matches on a weekend, cricket training once a week with matches on a weekend and rookie lifeguard training once a week.

DS2 is 8 he does football training once a week, swimming once a week, cricket training once a week, rugby training once a week and matches on a weekend.

They still seem to spend a lot of time playing Xbox and playing out so I don't think it's too much.

tomhazard · 14/05/2018 17:43

I've got a 5 year old who does swimming, Rainbows and after school gymnastics. I'd sign her up for more as she loves doing stuff but i can't get her there as I'm working!

LittleMermaidRose · 14/05/2018 17:44

In primary I done football & brownies.
In secondary I done dance & cheerleading. Also bought a gym membership which I paid for myself.
Younger sister done ballet in primary, nothing in secondary.

Allyg1185 · 14/05/2018 17:59

I don't remember attending any clubs when I was younger.

My ds (6) attends swimming once a week.

Classes are so expensive. Plus ds would rather play out after school riding his bike, climbing trees, den building, trampoline, tig etc all the things I have fond memories of doing as a child

HighwayDragon1 · 14/05/2018 17:59

DD(8) does dance, cheerleading, hockey (x2) plus weekend matches and brownies. She'd love to drop swimming and take up a martial arts, I've said no way!

screamuntilthewarisover · 14/05/2018 18:00

My daughter (7) does far too much at the moment but finding it impossible to limit things she loves and the friends she has made over the years

Monday- drama
Tuesday- ball room dancing after school then swim club+ diving
Wednesday- choir
Thursday- swim club + diving
Friday- gymnastics
Saturday- synchronised swimming
Sunday- finishing off swimming lessons then will add the third swim club session.

AClearShotOfTheStreet · 14/05/2018 18:09

DS6 does too much probably.... drama, ukulele, swimming, football, during the weekend and then alternates between synagogue and football on Saturdays and then rugby or cricket on Sundays depending on the season.

I did a lot too. I feel he does do a bit too much but I admit I am not great at unscheduled time in the house. I like taking my kids places and doing organised stuff. I feel if they've done activities I can sort of tick that off for the day. It does mean that between activities and socialising we don't have much free time and we struggle to fit in impromptu things like a bike ride or pub lunch. DH would like to do less (socialising really, as activities don't take up that much time) which I am all for in principle but then find myself organising things......

DS2 OTOH, does nothing. At his age DS1 was doing every paid toddler activity going. So maybe I will chill out a bit!

neversleepagain · 14/05/2018 18:16

My dtwins are 6 soon they do Rainbows, football, a swimming lesson, a 4 hour art club once a month and a 2 hour cooking club once a month.

I swam competitively to a high level and trained 5 times a week as a child. Dh was a cross country runner and belonged to an athletics club.

HelloFreedom · 14/05/2018 18:31

DC1, age 8: swimming, piano and gymnastics

DC2, age 6: swimming and gymnastics

DC3, age 3: ballet and soon to start swimming.

That's plenty for us. Although they do occasional one off art/craft classes and sessions locally during the holidays.

Flisspaps · 14/05/2018 18:43

Mine (6 and 8) do none. They're at a childminder 4 days a week after school, we all get home at 5.30pm.

They've both shown an interest in scouts so I'll look at that but they're turning out OK without doing activities!

bridgetosomewhere · 14/05/2018 18:47

Ds8 does running club and cubs. £2.50 a week!

Dd has a swimming lesson £23 a week

catstring · 14/05/2018 18:48

I just don't understand how some families fit all the activities in. They must be loaded and shattered!
My son (12) does piano and scouts. He used to do a sport but now he's rather go cycling with his dad and does do a lunch time running club at school.
Dd (9) does cubs and piano. Not that interested in sport but I will get her some extra swimming lessons in the summer hols.
Dd (4) no clubs.
We have down time, quality time, playing with friends time. Time to do homework and music practice.
How on earth can people tolerate buzzing around until bedtime every evening with activities? What about time for a nice home cooked dinner together?

PumpkinPie2016 · 14/05/2018 18:53

My son is 4 and currently only does swimming once a week.

I am looking into gymnastics/football for him from September.

I want him to do activities but equally, I don't want to overload him (or us!) by filling every evening.

I work full time and DH is self employed so his hours vary so we are quite a busy household.

sirfredfredgeorge · 14/05/2018 18:58

How on earth can people tolerate buzzing around until bedtime every evening with activities? What about time for a nice home cooked dinner together?

Are your activities particularly long? DD is 6, school finishes at 3:15, Bedtime is 9pm at the earliest so that's 5:30 hours to fit in an activity, a home cooked meal, some playing out, some playing around inside, an hour's sport, a half hour bike ride to get there, it still leaves plenty of time to cook and eat dinner.

DN4GeekinDerby · 14/05/2018 19:33

My older three (8, 11, 13) are part of St John's Ambulance and my oldest goes to a roleplaying group at a game club on his own. That plus a weekly trip with their friends, that's about as far as organized out of home activities currently though planning swimming over the summer.

When I was a kid I was in multiple forms of dance, gymnastics, vocal training, musicals and choirs, church scouts/youth club, various sports, and even though I still had plenty of time to spend hours walking in the forests or ride my bike, I still burnt out of pretty much all of it before I hit my teens and ended up with lifetime injuries from being overtrained as a child. Thankfully there are far more safety considerations for kids than there was in my day to try to prevent such things but it does make me wince a little at some long lists with similar activities.

I ended up later picking up wrestling in high school which I still have a passion about even if I can't do it anymore, far more than anything my parents put me in and a love of glass art which I also found in high school through a supportive art teacher even though I wasn't taking art. So, I'm not particularly big on putting my kids into things, I want them to have more free time to play and explore than I had, I try to make time to expose them to a wide range of things, and I trust they'll find what clicks with them that they'll put their own effort into it in time far better than I would ever be able to do for them. There are some cons to this, certain activities do seem to be best started younger, but there are pros and cons to all of it.

Lisajane2810 · 14/05/2018 19:37

my dd14 does 2 group drama classes on a monday. private drama lesson on a friday, keyboard lessons at school and she does gym membership and swimming with friends. shes done the usual guides dancing etc but these are long term 3 plus years hobbies x

Babybearsporij · 14/05/2018 19:44

7 year old does gymnastics twice a week and swims. We have dropped another activity as I felt 4 activities a week was too much.

3 year old does swimming and music class.

I did brownies & guides, ballet, 2 instruments (one in school, one privately) and swimming when I was younger. DH did swimming and gymnastics.

theSnuffster · 14/05/2018 19:45

5 year old has swimming lessons, and goes to an after school club. Next month she'll start street dance lessons and in September will join rainbows.

9 year old plays football and goes to one after school club. He has guitar lessons and drum lessons during school hours.

That's nothing in comparison to some of their friends, but I still feel like we're hardly ever at home just pottering/ relaxing.

Paddingtonthebear · 14/05/2018 19:48

DD is 5yrs and in reception. She goes to Rainbows and has a swimming lesson each week. Horse riding lessons fortnightly.

MumOfDiamonds · 14/05/2018 20:09

DS does drama, singing lessons and he also attends a gym and goes there on the nights he doesn't have his other activities (he's 14)

DD does boxing on a Monday, musical theatre on a Tuesday and Saturday, performing arts on a Wednesday and she is also learning the violin.

I will say that my 2 do also like their computers. I'd say they spend about 8 hours each over the course of the week on them. (I hate computers with a passion Hmm)

BitchQueen90 · 14/05/2018 20:13

DS will be 5 next month and only does swimming lessons. He did do gymnastics for a bit but asked to stop as he wasn't keen.

I'm considering getting him involved in a language club as there is a good French and Spanish teacher in my area who does after school clubs for younger children.

MadameJosephine · 14/05/2018 20:17

My 5 yo DD has swimming lessons, rainbows and gymnastics after school and violin on Saturday morning

Japril · 14/05/2018 20:21

Dd (8) does Brownies, gymnastics, piano, clarinet, swimming, choir and stagecoach. She is giving clarinet up at the end of the year as she doesn’t practise. She wants to join the school choir next year too which is fine by me as it will be one night where I won’t have to pay for after school club!
Ds (5) does gymnastics, swimming and stagecoach. He is going to try rugby in September.
It definitely feels like too much but they enjoy their activities - the only one they would consider giving up is swimming and I have said not until the end of year 6 (although I may cave at the end of year 5).

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