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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how many extra activities your kids do out of school?

94 replies

Divaqueen121 · 14/05/2018 11:09

When I was younger I used to do swimming, tennis, 3 types of dancing, 2 musical instruments, rainbows/brownies and my brother used to do around the same amount, my parents really didn’t have much money and it was a real struggle for them to send us but our choice as we begged to go to these things.
I have 2dd’s and 1ds, they have got to be the laziest kids - the little one does gymnastics but the older 2 do nothing except for swimming which I make them all attend all they want to do is play on the iPad/Xbox etc.
AIBU to want them to do these things or do kids just not do as much these days?

OP posts:
Echobelly · 14/05/2018 11:52

DD, 9 - drama, swimming (same day), bassoon lessons at home

DS 9 - just drama and swimming at the moment, but planning to introduce piano lessons once we've got back on a financial even keel.... there's a place he can go for lessons literally opposite our house.

I don't think I could cope with any more than that until/unless kids are old enough to take themselves!

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 14/05/2018 11:53

I never did anything except piano lessons for a few years because my mum forced me.

I was always very tired after school and preferred to play at home.

Even now I am 36 I rarely do anything during the week and prefer just to potter. I don't think it's laziness - I work full time and have packed weekends but I just like a bit of peace and quiet during the week.

BetterEatCheese · 14/05/2018 11:58

Dd (7) does a couple of clubs before school which only involve arriving at 8 instead of 9, brownies, dance (twice a week) and gymnastics. She loves all of them and the moment she doesn't she can stop. I am becoming concerned about the spiralling cost of dance though, feels like a lot

M5tothesouthwest · 14/05/2018 11:59

Both DC do swimming (I insist - they can give up when I consider them strong enough swimmers to be safe in open water, as we live near the sea).
They both do Brownies / Beavers.
They each do a sport of their choice
One also does a martial art.

Thetruthfairy · 14/05/2018 12:00

My dd sounds very much like yours bubble. She just wants to spend time playing with her siblings when she gets back from school, and I want to spend time with her too.
She does 2 activities per week and that is enough, I think.

Mulberry72 · 14/05/2018 12:02

DS(11) only does 1 activity but trains 5 times a week, then very early on a Saturday morning and then a match the same day.

He’s not interested in doing anything else, he did Beavers and swimming when he was younger though.

littlepeas · 14/05/2018 12:04

Quite a lot - some organised through school and some organised by me!

Ds1 (9): chess, hockey/cricket depending on season, swimming, piano, art club.

Dd (8): ballet (3x per week at the moment!), netball/hockey/cross country/rounders depending on season, swimming, singing, cello, art club.

Ds2 (6): cricket/rugby depending on season, gymnastics, chess, singing, tenor horn.

It costs me in the region of £1500 per term (music lessons are particularly expensive)!!! I try not to think about it too much!

dancinfeet · 14/05/2018 12:32

both of my girls (13 & 18) do approx 12 hours of dance & musical theatre a week and younger DD does acro too. Elder daughter does Drama as well.

Loandbeholdagain · 14/05/2018 12:34

Personally I wouldn’t do more than 2 at a time. It gets too hectic for everyone and family chill out time is important too.

Bunchofdaffodils · 14/05/2018 12:37

Mine did Scouts/Guides and one other of their choice. Mainly due to money constraints, but I also think too much rushing about is stressful!

Lndnmummy · 14/05/2018 12:55

My ds (6) does music, dance and capoira.

BiddyPop · 14/05/2018 12:56

In primary, I did piano, elocution and gymnastics after school. One in school building but not a school organized activity, the rest separate. We did "swim week" every summer in the sea. And I remember sporadic terms of tennis coaching.

In secondary, I continued piano for a year but changed to guitar then, kept on elocution, started Girl Guides, and also did hockey after school (that was the only "in school" activity). I got involved in rowing in my later teens. But I always read a lot too once I actually learned how to read. And I had days when I had no activities.

DD does a bunch of stuff after school as the PTA organizes classes on a huge range of both indoor and outdoor things. So she does or has done Italian and Playball (afterschool club in crèche for about 2 years); guitar and French (both for 1 year), chess (for 2 years); hockey, athletics, soccer and gaelic games (all for 4+ years). And separately to "related to school" activities, she as done gaelic games and hockey in clubs, Coder DoJo computer coding, Cubs/Scouts, and sailing (these latter nothing to do with school and not all at the same time - so she's only doing 2 of those now). And school have been good about opportunities to do gardening, science projects (doing and exhibiting), choir, and lots of sports teams entered into events outside of core teaching the curriculum.

We are really lucky that the PTA has such a range of things to try, and childcare worked out to let her try them. But she also has times when she has nothing and gets her downtime as well. And we've been happy to allow her have activities on each of the 4 afternoons PTA have sessions if she wants, or not, and to change the activity (they have 2 terms per school year and you don't have to do the same thing for each half of the year but can change or drop out if you'd like at the halfway mark - as DD has done for various reasons over time).

Stompythedinosaur · 14/05/2018 13:05

Bloody loads! Ballet, riding, swimming, climbing and piano for my dds age 5 and 7.

RainbowFairiesHaveNoPlot · 14/05/2018 13:13

Younger one does dancing (just switched away from one that does exams and competitions to one that just does it for the enjoyment of it), karate, gymnastics, drama, Rainbows and swimming.

Elder one just dropped dancing, does gymnastics, Rainbows, drama and swimming.

HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 14/05/2018 13:15

Ds1 12, does Football

Academy - 3 x per week - plus match
Youth football 2 x per week - plus match
School football 1 x per week
Futsal 2 x per week

Althletics county - 1x per week
Rugby 1 x per week

Judo 2 x per week

Boxing 2 x per week dh also regularly takes him cycling and he cycles to some of the above activities.

Ds2 8

Youth football, Goal keeper - 2 x training and 1 x match per week
School football - 1 x training and 1 match per week

Dodgeball - 1 x per week

Judo 3 x per week

Guitar lessons 2 x per week,

Ds is also exceptional at computing and at 8 has already done his GCSE exam, he also has a tutor to help him programme etc...

Ds also bike rides

mindutopia · 14/05/2018 13:54

My 5 year old dd takes a riding lesson one day a week. We tried taekwondo (she had no interest) and rainbows (which was horrifically disorganised, all they did was run around and scream for an hour pretty much). But the only thing she really loved was riding so that’s what she does. Every other day she comes home from school and either plays outside for an hour or two or helps dh with packing up parcels (runs a business, some of which involves online retail sales).

feelinggoodinspring · 14/05/2018 14:04

My children all do 1 hobby each.
Dc1- Wrestling Club
Dc2- Dancing/Drama
Dc3- Football

havanagilahava · 14/05/2018 14:06

Each do 2 instruments, guides/brownies, swimming lessons (until end of year 6), and ballet.

whojamaflip · 14/05/2018 14:15

Ds1 (15) Tae Kwondo x2, explorers, volunteers with the local beaver colony, indoor sky diving and climbing - Saturday job too

Dd1 (12) gymnastics x5 days, extra training every other week too, scouts

Ds2 (11) Tae Kwondo, scouts

Dd2 (8) Cubs, theatre, vaulting

It works at the moment and they all do what they want to do - all on different nights as well. Sunday is our only family day but even that takes second place to competitions, grading etc.

As a child I was sent to what my mother deemed "suitable" activities which fitted in with her life - I hated them with a passion and swore my kids would do the clubs and activities they wanted to and they do. They've tried loads of different things over the years but have all settled and committed to the clubs they are in now. Life would be much easier if they all did the same bloody thing though! Grin

LinghamStyle · 14/05/2018 14:23

I tried lots of things as a child but didn't shtick at anything except horse riding, my mum wasn't well off and it was expensive so she was probably relieved when I finally gave it up.

DC1- music lessons (trombone), swimming, guides and she's also a Brownie helper.

DC2- music lessons and and plays in the orchestra, football training and a weekly match, swimming, Guides.

DC3- music lessons,football training and a weekly match, Brownies, basketball and also attends any after school activities that are usually blocks of 4-6 weeks.

sparklefluff · 14/05/2018 14:27

Scouts, and football.
He does do something after school 4/5 nights as well.
All how choosing.

moominsmama · 14/05/2018 17:09

DD1 is 5 in July and just does stage club for 2 hours after school on a Tuesday. She is still very tired after being at school all week.
From sept we are looking at starting swimming after school too but that will be it.
We spend lots of time outside, at the park, doing crafts, reading etc so I don’t feel she’s missing out, plus it is very expensive.
Some kids in her class do 5/6 activities...way too much, kids must be exhausted! X

Ticketsfrom · 14/05/2018 17:14

DC 1 - 6 does 4 sports outside of school,
DC 2 8, does 1 sport 3x a week (on a team) and 4 other sports. also does 2 x instruments.

LittleLionMansMummy · 14/05/2018 17:20

Ds (7) does swimming (my insistence) once a week and judo once a week. He was doing beavers too but gave it up. That was plenty, taking into consideration his homework. There's a 6 year age gap between him and his sister, so at the moment the amount is fine. When dd is older I'll limit them to two activities each.

LellyMcKelly · 14/05/2018 17:23

12yo: Gymnastics (4 Times a week) and ballet (to support the gymnastics) once a week, but she completes at regional and national level. Did play the flute, do tap and modern, brownies and swimming, but gymnastics has taken over everything.

9yo: Martial Arts - including one class on weapons training - nunchucks, bo staff, etc.) parkour, football, and dodgeball. Played violin for a term but was very uninterested. Did swimming, ballet, Tap and modern too.