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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be so scared of getting in my car?...

85 replies

Blazingspeed · 14/05/2018 10:16

I passed my test in February in a Ford Fiesta, 2nd attempt.
I was a pretty good driver and had built up loads of confidence.

We have a Citroen C4... so quite a bit larger than a fiesta. But it has all the mod cons, parking sensors, park assist, hill assist etc.

I’ve driven twice since I passed. Both times with my OH in the car. First time was a teeny tiny journey (like 3 minutes) that went fine.
The second time I kept stalling... it was awful. I’ve not driven since.
Doesn’t help the the P plates won’t stick to the bloody car.

I’m itching to drive but I’m just so nervous. I’ve spent the entire morning just day dreaming about going out in the car (seriously, it’s sat there doing nothing on my drive Hmm )

AIBU? Were any of you this ridiculous about driving alone for the first time?
It’s just me & my youngest at home today (23months) ....I could easily jump in the car but I keep stopping myself, finding all other jobs I need to do first.

My main fear is stalling... this car is so different to my instructors. They’re both diesel but with the c4 you have to use the gas to move off, whereas with the fiesta I could just use the clutch... that threw me. Also, the gears seem to be positioned slightly different... it’s just feels, well, different.

Ugh. I spent a LOT of money learning to drive and for what?!

OP posts:
Original poster
Blazingspeed · 14/05/2018 10:17

Sorry for any typos, I’m on my phone

OP posts:
yellowmellw · 14/05/2018 10:19

Drove to a local spot that's not just and practise your clutch control

Almostthere15 · 14/05/2018 10:19

Thats tough. But stalling happens to the best of us. I'd try not to overthink it and just go, pick a fairly quiet route to the local supermarket or similar. I bet it's better than you think, and the only thing that will help is practice. You'll get used to where the biting point sits

MrsPatmore · 14/05/2018 10:19

Maybe you could pay for a few more sessions with an instructor in your own car to help you build confidence?

SilverHairedCat · 14/05/2018 10:19

Do you know of anywhere with a large, fairly quiet, car park? An old B&Q or something? Head there, and practice starting, stopping, acceleration, reverse parking, parallel parking etc. Back to basics.

You'll learn it, but you need to practice.

And bin the P plates, no-one gives them any credence anyway.

emz1990 · 14/05/2018 10:21

My cousin was exactly the same after he passed. He kept stalling his car so ended up not driving it. About two months later me and my mum (his aunt) convinced him to try again. He went out for an hour and a half drive just by himself. At the beginning he said he stalled a lot but about 30-40 minutes after he left he suddenly got it and the rest of the drive he was fine. He just needed that long drive to get over his nerves of driving a different car. He drives everywhere now with no problems.
Maybe an idea for you (if you can fit a drive in) Smile

lindyhopy · 14/05/2018 10:21

I think most people are like this when you first pass. I am still.like it whenever I drive a new car. Can you go to a car park at a quiet time and just practice stopping and starting for a while to get used to the clutch. Good luck youll be fine.

Haberpop · 14/05/2018 10:21

New cars always take a bit of getting used to even for experienced drivers, I have a new Fiesta (my old car was a Fiesta too) and this one is different to my old one, I am struggling to find reverse as this car has 6 gears compared to the old 5 gears on the old car, I have been driving for 30+ years. You won't get less nervous by not facing your fears. Get out there, stall a couple of times! So what if you do? You are never going to see those people again.

Coldhandscoldheart · 14/05/2018 10:21

Go! Plan a little route that you know well, just a short one and go.

If you stall, well you stall. You restart the car & have another go with a bit more accelerator. Loads of people do it, even people who have been driving for years stall.

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 14/05/2018 10:22

Yes, it took me a while to pluck up courage, but I had to do it for work, which wasn’t on a bus route.

I don’t particularly like driving, don’t like DH driving my car and don’t like driving with him in the passenger seat. So pretty much any of it really. Grin

AlfredDaButtler · 14/05/2018 10:22

Did your DH not accompany you in your own car while you were still learning?!

Dragonade · 14/05/2018 10:23

sell it and buy an automatic

kaytee87 · 14/05/2018 10:23

Could you do pass plus?

Titterofwit · 14/05/2018 10:24

Well done for passing your test!
It does take time to learn each new car though and I would have been like you after such a problematic drive.
Could you ask someone to drive you to a quiet road or carpark so you can learn your cars different clutch and gear system? It would only take about 30 minutes of stop and drive off manoeuvres for you to be confident again.
Think of how much fun you'll have in the summer!

TERFragetteCity · 14/05/2018 10:24

Not really. The first thing I drove after passing my test was a work transit van. You learn pretty quick not to stall when there are 20 blokes watching you reverse out of a yard, up a slope, onto the main road.

Sit in your drive, learn where the biting point is and go out for a drive this morning, take sunglasses as it is sunny, go somewhere that there is a cafe and parking [a garden centre/supermarket] and just do it in your own time.

Original poster
Blazingspeed · 14/05/2018 10:24

Alfred, no that’s one thing we never did. I really wish we had now... this wouldn’t of been a problem.

Oh I’m just so annoyed with myself, I’m always letting my fears hold me back.

OP posts:
Alicatz66 · 14/05/2018 10:25

Seriously ... if you possibly can , get an automatic. I'm not keen on driving but since driving an auto it's 100% better xx

gamerchick · 14/05/2018 10:27

You do need to go somewhere and practise your clutch control. The longer you leave it the worse your fear.

I passed around 7 months ago and it’s knly the past month I’ve felt confident but I’ve had to literally force myself to just do it.

Why don’t you go out today and just sit in the car. Have a play with the controls and practise finding your bite so you know where it is in your own car. Don’t waste all that money you’ve spent and free yourself.

mirren3 · 14/05/2018 10:28

Absolutely book a lesson or 2 with your instructor in your car. Some people can jump in any car and off they go, some can't.
You're a brand new driver getting in a totally different car, and the fact you have a wee one who'll be in the car with you is maybe a bit of a worry too.
My kids all did pass plus which is great, I'm not even sure if it's still available but it's worth it too.

SilverHairedCat · 14/05/2018 10:28

No no no, don't get an automatic!! You'll totally deskill. Every car is different. My DH struggles to drive other cars, I can jump in anything because I drove multiple cars at work for years. It's practice.

gamerchick · 14/05/2018 10:29

Or you could give your old instructor a ring and ask for a little help and a few tips. Mine helped me after I passed with little issues if I told him.

wowfudge · 14/05/2018 10:29

Surely it would simpler for the OP to get an hour or so of tuition in her own car rather than buy an automatic! Bit OTT to recommend that to a new driver who has passed her test.

Whisky2014 · 14/05/2018 10:30

Het you dp to drive you to a quiet country road then practice.

AviatorShades · 14/05/2018 10:30

Any chance you and OH can do 'driving practice' for a time every evening, now that lighter nights are here? Load the kids in the back and off you go.
Honestly,it's just practice in this new car you need, certain of it.
Would OH be up for it?

flissfloss65 · 14/05/2018 10:31

Have you any industrial estates nearby? Go after 6pm and practise. Lots of junctions and turns. Good luck

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