Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be so scared of getting in my car?...

85 replies

Blazingspeed · 14/05/2018 10:16

I passed my test in February in a Ford Fiesta, 2nd attempt.
I was a pretty good driver and had built up loads of confidence.

We have a Citroen C4... so quite a bit larger than a fiesta. But it has all the mod cons, parking sensors, park assist, hill assist etc.

I’ve driven twice since I passed. Both times with my OH in the car. First time was a teeny tiny journey (like 3 minutes) that went fine.
The second time I kept stalling... it was awful. I’ve not driven since.
Doesn’t help the the P plates won’t stick to the bloody car.

I’m itching to drive but I’m just so nervous. I’ve spent the entire morning just day dreaming about going out in the car (seriously, it’s sat there doing nothing on my drive Hmm )

AIBU? Were any of you this ridiculous about driving alone for the first time?
It’s just me & my youngest at home today (23months) ....I could easily jump in the car but I keep stopping myself, finding all other jobs I need to do first.

My main fear is stalling... this car is so different to my instructors. They’re both diesel but with the c4 you have to use the gas to move off, whereas with the fiesta I could just use the clutch... that threw me. Also, the gears seem to be positioned slightly different... it’s just feels, well, different.

Ugh. I spent a LOT of money learning to drive and for what?!

OP posts:
PlausibleSuit · 14/05/2018 10:31

Citroen/Peugeot clutches can be a bit funny; mine was on my old Saxo. They can bite a bit higher and you need slightly more revs to get enough power to the wheels.

It's a practice thing. Don't be held hostage by a pedal! Show that clutch who does the clutching.

Congrats on passing your test.

AviatorShades · 14/05/2018 10:33

Sorry, when i was typing, others had replied.
Some good ideas there, OP.
All the best.

FreckledLeopard · 14/05/2018 10:35

Just do it. Bite the bullet. Otherwise you won't do it, you'll have wasted your money and if you keep leaving it, I doubt you'll drive again. Sorry to be harsh but my ex was like this and it drove me mad - it became a complete phobia.

Just get in the car. Practice in an old car park or something if you can, or just drive around some quiet, suburban roads. If you stall, so be it. You'll quickly get the hang of it. All cars are different and you just need practice.

Good luck.

UrgentScurryfunge · 14/05/2018 10:38

Get someone to drive you to an empty carpark to get the feel of it. Sunday evening is good when retail parks/ supermarkets are shut.

If it's any consolation, I'm not looking forward to my first drive in DH's new car. I've been driving for years very happily in my fairly basic car, and this one is automatic with a wierdy handbrake button and another of the stupidly hinged accelerators that was not designed for tiny feet, short legs and big calves... Ultimately, the only way I'm going to master it is to practice.

MrsPreston11 · 14/05/2018 10:39

Yep you just have to do it.

It was years ago now I learned, but I learned in a tiny Ford KA and then bought a 5 door Corsa, so still a smallish car but a lot bigger.

I just used to go out for an hour plus a night and drive anywhere and everywhere, normally around quiet residential roads.

Egg · 14/05/2018 10:40

The longer you leave it the harder you will find it. I didn’t drive for almost 10 years and really struggled when I started again. I used to take the car out down very quiet roads (and definitely not ones where you may need to reverse if a car appears coming in the opposite direction) and just drive round and round, changing gears frequently to get used to it.

blueskyinmarch · 14/05/2018 10:45

My DD2 passed her test very quickly and was a confident driver but she just could not get on with the car we bought her as the clutch was very different to her instructors car. She kept stalling it over and over and she didn't want to drive it. Eventually we just cut our losses and traded in that car for a different one which was absolutely fine and she never looked back.

I know it isn't a solution for everyone but it is maybe an idea?

Alyosha · 14/05/2018 10:46

You need to get back in the saddle. The first time I drove after I passed my test was a nightmare, it does get better though. It's really normal to feel worried and even experienced drivers stall now and then.

My advice is to drive safely, don't get pressured by other drivers (i.e. if you are on a winding A road doing 50 and there's a queue behind you don't feel you have to speed up if it feels unsafe) and just get out and do it - the more you do it the easier it gets. I would also try by yourself honestly. You might feel a bit calmer.

WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam · 14/05/2018 10:48

Oh I’m just so annoyed with myself, I’m always letting my fears hold me back.

Make this the time you don't, then :)

Book an instructor to accompany you in your car for a couple of hours, then you'll be absolutely fine.

Everyone stalls btw, even the most experience of drivers.

WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam · 14/05/2018 10:49

Show that clutch who does the clutching.

This made me laugh!

chatwoo · 14/05/2018 10:50

Agree with the PP who suggested industrial estates. Go at the weekend or in the evening and just pootle up and down, testing out the controls etc. You''ll soon get used to it!

Slartybartfast · 14/05/2018 10:52

think about where to go where you will land up, my first foray landed me in a car park, quite unused to parking! can you have someone with you?

RidingWindhorses · 14/05/2018 10:56

You really need to get as much driving practice as you can starting asap.

Book some more lessons if necessary. A friend of mine did a weekend course of intensive driving to get her going.

Snowysky20009 · 14/05/2018 11:00

As soon as i got home from my test, I walked in through the door and my dad said 'here's the keys, I've taken the L plates off and filled the tank for you' and I went, picked up my boyfriend and spent the day driving.

HOWEVER, I had been learning EVERY day in that car for 3 months, whilst also driving my instructors car.

So don't get disheartened when you hear about those of us who go straight out- we Probably already know the car really well!

As PP have said- spend some time each evening, going to an industrial estate, and just driving around practising your clutch control.

I've been driving about 20 years now, and used to cover 1000 miles a week for work at one point. I STILL stall occasionally. If you do, DON'T panic, take a deep breath, and start again.

Good Luck!

Snowysky20009 · 14/05/2018 11:01

( and I can go forward, but don't ask me to reverse park!)

BlueJava · 14/05/2018 11:03

Pick a time of days that's not rush house/school traffic and a route you know and just do it! Otherwise you'll spend more time and more effort doing something that really only you can make yourself do - driving by yourself.

OliviaStabler · 14/05/2018 11:05

I'd go out driving when it is really quite such as very early Sunday morning. That will help build your confidence.

The first time I drove alone, I had to as my Mum urgently needed medication and I had to drive to the next town to get it. I couldn't get there by public transport so I had to drive. I was very proud of myself afterwards as I did really well.

Hookedoncatnip · 14/05/2018 11:10

I was exactly the same as you when I passed my test. I was 35 at that point and it was all a bit overwhelming. I'm also dyspraxic so that really doesn't help!

As previous posters have said take some time to go back to basics with clutch control, starting, stopping etc. If it helps take a 2 - 3 more lessons with your instructor. It can't do any harm anyway. I took some motorway lessons with mine and I'm so glad I did. I have a friend who has been driving for at least 10 years and just won't drive on the motorway. I think she feels a bit embarrassed to go back to lessons having passed so long ago.
At the end of the day it's probably quite normal to be a bit nervous for a little while after you pass. It'll get easier but practice is the key.

gamerchick · 14/05/2018 11:10

And don’t worry about the P plates. I just have the one on the bonnet now. I had to take the one off the back because of aggressive drivers behind me with their up my arse driving and banging their horn at junctions. As soon as I took the P off the back it stopped.

Kursk · 14/05/2018 11:11

The day you passed your test is the first day you start to learn to drive.

crazycoconut · 14/05/2018 11:11

I've been driving for 9 years, so pretty experienced. I got a new car in December and I stalled constantly. Took me almost a month to get fully used to it but I'm fine now. If you stall just whack your hazards on and restart your engine. You'll get the hang of it Smile

SoupDragon · 14/05/2018 11:12

The second time I kept stalling... it was awful. I’ve not driven since

I’ve been driving for over 30 years. I had to have a courtesy car recently and guess what - I kept stalling it, the gears were all in the wrong place etc etc :)

It’s just practice and getting used to your car.

Barbaro · 14/05/2018 11:13

Practice but honestly a c4 is a great car to learn to drive in. It's very safe, handles well for a car like that, doesn't accelerate that quickly. I got rid of mine because it was boring for me, it wasn't exciting to drive. But you don't need exciting you need safe and that's a great car for that.

MumofBoysx2 · 14/05/2018 11:14

Can you change your car to the same as the one you passed in? Or hire one for a bit, just to get your confidence up?

ILoveWillSmith · 14/05/2018 11:16

I've been driving for 20 years and am still struggling with the 'stop start' clutch thing on my new car!
When I passed my test I was like you and having my DH with me made me worse. Try and go out by yourself early morning or evening when the traffics a bit lighter and practice.
I used to hate the feeling that my DH was silently criticizing my driving (he never did, I just imagined it!) so that just made me more nervous.
Good luck, you'll be zooming around in no time x