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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why people only do their own washing?

563 replies

sweeneytoddsrazor · 14/05/2018 01:03

Just that really.

I see so many posts where people say DP's or any child over the age of about 12 do their own washing. Surely it's easier to just empty the laundry basket and do one wash of everyones washing rather than have 4 people do 4 washes with not much in it.

OP posts:
WinnersClub · 14/05/2018 19:37

Yes Sweeney and this is what the thread was all about in the first place wasn't it? to prove that you are far better at parenting, more superior and managing a house and anyone that doesn't do things your way is rather stupid. End of thread.

mirime · 14/05/2018 19:43

I do the washing, largely because I took on that responsibility when DH and I moved in together, and the reason only one of us does it is we don't have a tumble dryer and it would be incredibly annoying in the winter if DH had started doing random washes when I had a system for getting things dried in a reasonable amount of time while keeping condensation to a minimum.

QuiteCleanBandit · 14/05/2018 19:44

Lonicera
I dodnt start this until mine were well over a levels
I just got fed up with doing the laundry pile for perfectly capable young adults and DH every week.
Loving all the silly defensive replies though (not yours) Grin

Original poster
sweeneytoddsrazor · 14/05/2018 19:48

Sweeney - so the conclusion being, after 13 pages that your way us the right way after all.

No i didn't say mine was he right way, I said I fail to see that them doing their own makes them responsible adults, meaning that it isn't the only way of learning. I haven't said anywhere I am right and everyone else is wrong.

OP posts:
Original poster
sweeneytoddsrazor · 14/05/2018 19:50

Yes Sweeney and this is what the thread was all about in the first place wasn't it? to prove that you are far better at parenting, more superior and managing a house and anyone that doesn't do things your way is rather stupid. End of thread.

No it was started out of interest. I have never in all my years of being a parent, thought I was superior to anybody else. Nobody is the perfect parent, I was genuinely interested and baffled by it. Not everybody is a snide, goady person.

OP posts:
QuiteCleanBandit · 14/05/2018 19:53
Confused Surely doing laundry is a life skill ? Doing ones own teaches responsibility and independence but also CHOICE . They learn pretty quick when they have no pants Wink
WinnersClub · 14/05/2018 20:03

No, you're not just interested so don't kid yourself. If you were, 13 pages of people telling you how their method works for them and all you can take out of it is I still fail to see how everyone doing their own teaches kids to be responsible adults.. In other words, they are doing it wrong, your kids are responsible and i suppose everyone else's aren't.Hmm Either that or you can't read.

Original poster
sweeneytoddsrazor · 14/05/2018 20:10

I don't think it's the only way of teaching them to be responsible there is a difference. And now I am not kidding myself. Neither do I think my kids are the only responsible ones far from it. They are all perfectly capable of cooking, cleaning etc but that doesn't sometimes stop them behaving like total buffoons at times. I am not a perfect parent and I don't have perfect kids. And yes it still baffles me because it wouldn't work for me but obviously it works for others.

OP posts:
WinnersClub · 14/05/2018 20:16

it wouldn't work for me but obviously it works for others., and that's all you need to acknowledge, no need to be baffled. Your way wouldn't work for me either, but i'm not baffled it works for others, i can easily see how it does.

Original poster
sweeneytoddsrazor · 14/05/2018 20:21

I do acknowledge it works for others. Not once have I claimed my way was the only way or the best way. Everybody thinks their way is the best in so much as it's what works for them. But as with most things there isn't a right or wrong, and as never in rl have I heard anybody say they all did their own washing, i really was genuinely interested and baffled.

OP posts:
PandaCat · 14/05/2018 20:26

I do everyone's washing. My kids are only 6 and 3 months so obviously won't be doing it anytime soon but DD1 does bring her washing downstairs to the machine. I was hers separately, the baby's separately but mine and my OHs together. The washing machine is on daily.

I started doing my own washing (most the time) around 16. So I'll probably expect DDs to start doing some of their own washing at a similar age.

WinnersClub · 14/05/2018 20:35

Read your post of 18:48:59 You can protest all you like.

I still fail to see how everyone doing their own teaches kids to be responsible adults.
Basically you don't believe those doing it any other way can teach kids to be responsible adults also means you don't see how there could be any other way except your way.

20:21
I do acknowledge it works for others.
No you don't.

All mine can cook, use the washing machine, hoover, iron and wash up but what they do depends on when they are home and what needs doing.
Erm so those who do their own washing can't do these things?

Do you see the contradictions in your post and how judgemental you have been?

Original poster
sweeneytoddsrazor · 14/05/2018 20:42

It certainly isn't meant to come across as judgemental, and maybe I phrased it wrong. I think kids doing the washing is great as it teaches them to be responsible adults. I don't think doing only their own teaches them any better than doing everyone elses, and vice versa.

My kids can do the washing and other household chores but other than just be responsible for their own washing, they have to do whatever chore needs doing when they are around to do it, as do myself and DH. This is how we muddle along.

Does that sound better as that is what i was trying to say.

OP posts:
CalF123 · 15/05/2018 01:27

I still think some posters are on a different planet on here. I've never seen or heard of a single family in my life where 10 year old DC or 16 year old DC for that matter do their own washing. Why on earth would you do 5 individual washes which need 5 individual piles of washing and then 5 individual piles of ironing- it's just so time-consuming and faffy. Not to mention the ridiculous waste of water from doing so many separate washes.

fluffyrobin · 15/05/2018 05:37

So many posts on Mumsnet are because of useless partners not pulling their weight around the home.

Would be solved in one swoop if parents make household stuff TEAMWORK from an early age.

frenchfancy · 15/05/2018 06:55

My DCs or DHs clothes are not considered household stuff anymore than their hair or nails are. My Dds would not appreciate me (orDH) wearing their clothes.

Why can't people understand it is the same amount of washing being done? No one in the house wears white so there is no colour sorting to be done. There are not 5 piles of ironing as no one else irons their clothes(and I only do a couple of things a week).

Gwenhwyfar · 15/05/2018 06:56

" I've never seen or heard of a single family in my life where 10 year old DC or 16 year old DC for that matter do their own washing. Why on earth would you do 5 individual washes which need 5 individual piles of washing and then 5 individual piles of ironing- it's just so time-consuming and faffy. Not to mention the ridiculous waste of water from doing so many separate washes."

I still don't understand how people can be so dense!
It's not more piles nor water FFS!
5 people in a house. You either have 5 loads mixed people or 5 loads per person. The number of loads of washing doesn't change. It doesn't use any more water as each person has a full load. It's no more work, but obviously less work for the person who would otherwise be lumbered with all the washing.

Fflamingo · 15/05/2018 07:09

Dh doesn’t pull his weight houseworkwise so at least he can’t get out of washing his clothes if I don’t do it. He can’t do all the washing as he would chuck woollens etc in with the rest and the sheets would never get washed.
I’m not proud of wifework like some on here I should have married someone better.

QuiteCleanBandit · 15/05/2018 07:09

I dont think anyone said their 10 year olds did their own laundry -just teens/adults.
Its not time consuming or faffy.
Each person puts on 1/2 washes and deals with it.
Way more time consuming for one person to do all the washing /sorting/ironing .
Its really funny ,thread after thread of women doing more than their fair share and yet if you come up with a sensible ,fair solution everyone comes up with silly excuses why it wont work !
I bloody love it !
Takes me minutes and no sorting Smile

Gwenhwyfar · 15/05/2018 07:14

"I never wash anything at 90 - surely bed covers don't get that disgusting?*

They do when you have a mascara wearing dd who suffers from mennorragea."

Alexander - blood stains come out in COLD water, not very hot.

Gwenhwyfar · 15/05/2018 07:16

"I dont think anyone said their 10 year olds did their own laundry -just teens/adults."

My brother and I started around 11 Quite. There's no need to hit 13 to be able to use a washing machine or to want the privacy of doing your own underwear and puberty for girls is often earlier than 13.

Furano · 15/05/2018 07:20

They do when you have a mascara wearing dd who suffers from mennorragea

Hot water sets the blood so that’s better on a cold wash.

As for the mascara. I’d go ape shit about mascara on bed linen. Dirty mare. Buy her some cotton wool pads and make up remover and tell her to use them!

Xenia · 15/05/2018 07:32

The problme some of my children have is they don't think I (or our cleaner when she did it) was good enougha t it! - everythnig in the same load and no ironing ever. So if any child wants a higher standard they do their own. If they are happy to lump it all in then that's fine (and I deliberately don't buy anything white so nothing can run).

So I have had 2 children as teenagers doing their own or specific items they want on a separate wash they put on following special instructions on the label.

Gonegirlfriday · 15/05/2018 07:54

I don’t have teenagers yet, but am a bit worried that left to his own devices my son just wouldn’t wash his clothes - unless he reaches a point when he becomes very image conscious, at 11 he sometimes has to have socks pulled off him before they crawl off on their own!

Wellthisunexpected · 15/05/2018 08:19

Because from time to time DH forgets that someone has to do the washing and needs reminding. So I stop washing his stuff.