Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask why you don’t volunteer for school / PTA / Parent Council Events?

999 replies

whyismykid · 13/05/2018 15:40

Is it because you are too busy? Don’t think it’s important? The people who organise these type of events are irritating? Think the school have all the funds they need so it’s not worth the bother?

What would enable you (or persuade you) to help out?

200 people attended the event I planned today and had a good time but only 8 people volunteered to help. I understand that the planning and preparing for events is time consuming (it totally is!) so I’d only expect a small number of people to be able to take that on, but it should be different for on the day help I would think? I made sure each volunteer slot was only 45 mins long, so that people could also take part with their families, and made it clear what each volunteer job involved. Online sign up
so super easy.

What else can I do? it’s a school of 750 pupils and I have a summer fair to attract volunteers for next, any ideas?

OP posts:
Mooneyes · 13/05/2018 19:11

Because I did it for years, got no thanks for it, and decided I'd had enough after I ended up standing at the gate on a freezing March day with the money tin, for hours, subsequently missing the entire fete because the twat who was meant to relieve me was having too much fun playing hook a duck with her DC. Meanwhile, my DC were left to their own decices and kindly brought me coffee and a burger out of pity.

Fuck that. I work full time and don't see my family enough as it is.

TittyGolightly · 13/05/2018 19:11

I work full time. That's why.

So do I. And I’m studying. And extra curricular stuff for DD. And running a business. I still chair the PTA.

OP, it’s the same story everywhere. Same 4 people did everything at our school. No longer. If people don’t volunteer, events don’t happen and the school doesn’t get any extra stuff.

BumpowderSneezeonAndSnot · 13/05/2018 19:12

I do love a martyr...

Marriedwithchildren5 · 13/05/2018 19:12

I have 3 children. Work weekends. Friends of our school organise events which subsidise trips. Buy equipment. Put in hours of their time. I volunteer. I take a/l to help out. No excuses parents. None at All!

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 13/05/2018 19:14

I really dislike this attitude of 'I work FT'. So do you think that the PTA just have nothing better to do? The PTA also have jobs why are you different?

Numerous posters have explained that the PTA at their childrens schools insist on holding meetings and events during the school day or straight after. So clearly your assumption that "the PTA also have jobs" isn't true for every school, or if they do they have very flexible or very part time jobs and not everyone is that lucky. Working FT may not be a barrier to volunteering at your child's school, but that clearly isn't the case for everyone.

Oblomov18 · 13/05/2018 19:14

I could do. I don't. I have no reason. Other than they don't seem that .... deserving?

Creambun2 · 13/05/2018 19:15

@TittyGolightly

Or people think the same four people are a clique?

InspMorse · 13/05/2018 19:15

So, some parents contribute by volunteering, some parents contribute by donating/providing resources, some parents contribute by attending events and by spending money at them.

Teateaandmoretea · 13/05/2018 19:15

pink the FT excuse is exactly that. You don't want to do it fine. Hell would freeze over before I ran a brownie pack or something like that. But it's because I don't want to do it, not because I perceive that brown owl is a SAHM who lunches and has nothing better to do. Everyone has busy lives, people who don't want to do it be honest!

Teateaandmoretea · 13/05/2018 19:16

minister It's true at ours.

Ionacat · 13/05/2018 19:17

I would help if I was free and had someone to look after the toddler, but the timing of the events are after school or during school when I’m either working or have no child care. Generally badly publicised in advance in terms of what help they need and no personal touch either. (The PTA hang round together as a big clique.) And I’m already treasurer for something else so there is a limit to my time. I may well look to be a governor next time there is a vacancy as the meetings are in the evenings.

Tartanscarf · 13/05/2018 19:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gibble1 · 13/05/2018 19:17

Because I work full time, am a Cub Leader, have 2 children 1 who is doing GCSEs and 1 who does something every night of the week as well as having secured a place on the World Scout Jamboree next year which he has to fundraiser for. I also have 2 dogs and a husband (who I like- I think? I don’t see him much 😳).
But I would always help out with a 45 minute slot if not working or bake cakes and organise DH to take the kids and spend money if I was working.

BumpowderSneezeonAndSnot · 13/05/2018 19:18

It's not An excuse it's a genuine reason. You have no idea what any of us do for jobs, what hours we keep, our health, our dc's health, our family circumstances... FT working and running a family is exhausting and a genuine reason to say no.

Whatever happened to the MN mantra: No is a complete sentance.

JoffreyMonfrere · 13/05/2018 19:18

TheFirstMrs DV Its very discouraging isn't it...and I'm sure there are lots of other examples of inefficient fundraising.
My PTA does the Bags2school thing. Parents are encouraged to fill bin bags with old clothes. The PTA get paid 40p PER KILO. 40p per kilo!!!
I declined to support this initiative when I realised this- my local Oxfam shop can make a much healthier amount for a very good cause by reselling my clothes. I think Bags2School benefit most here.

TittyGolightly · 13/05/2018 19:19

Or people think the same four people are a clique? only time they get together is for PTA events, so I don’t see how.

mummyof2boys30 · 13/05/2018 19:19

I joined when my eldest started p1. they never got back to me about any meeting or events. Im now a youth volunterr and comittee member of a youth club instead so i wouldnt do it now anyway

Teateaandmoretea · 13/05/2018 19:20

Whatever happened to the MN mantra: No is a complete sentance.

If no is a complete sentence why follow it with 'because I work FT'. You are dead right, you don't have to do it Hmm

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 13/05/2018 19:20

I take a/l to help out. No excuses parents

Good for you. But you do realise that most working parents (unless they have an unusually generous annual leave entitlement or family who can step in) have to save all their annual leave, and in many cases top it up with unpaid leave, just to cover school holidays, kids illness, inset days etc?

Why do people find it so hard to understand that what works for their family may not work for others?

PandaCat · 13/05/2018 19:20

Because I am not a confident person. I accidentally did once (I had no idea where I was supposed to go so went to the school and got roped in to walking with my child and another to the venue and then sitting with them) I felt very out of place. I now have a small baby so can't anyway even if I did have the confidence.

c75kp0r · 13/05/2018 19:23

Other people put themselves forward - so much so that there is competition for places. I volunteered to tidy up the green spaces/ containers etc as no one else cba. But I got fed up of turning up and finding their plans had changed and I couldnt do it after all, so I am not giving up my time to be messed around so they can put up with the weeds

AuntieStella · 13/05/2018 19:23

I volunteer elsewhere.

PTA was pretty unwelcoming to working parents - meetings always during the day. The suggestion that meetings could sometimes be at different times of day was met with 'but then some of us couidn't go'. Fine, but then don't complain that it's always you.

I used to help out at school fetes etc, until the event when they said they were utterly desperate for volunteers, the next day, so I changed my plans for the day and said I could be there, ready to do anything, all morning. 'lovely' they said. When I got there, there was nothing to do, no tasks assigned for me, and when I tried to ask and join in (about 5 times in different places). I was rebuffed with 'no we're fine here'. So I tried to find an organiser to see where these desperate gaps were. Told she'd be back in 15 mins, so I go to get coffee from the teapoint for volunteers, told I can't have any as I haven't done anything. Felt so rebuffed at that point, but wait for organiser in hope of finding out why they made such a desperate plea and what they wanted last minute volunteers to do. See her, try to ask, can't even get out the full question before being told she couldn't possibly talk to me. Neither, it seemed could anyone else.

So OP, one thing you could do to get more volunteered is to make sure that no one is ever treated like that by your PTA. I never volunteered for a single thing for them again, and heartily regretted the plans I'd cancelled when I believed their desperate need was real.

Goldenbear · 13/05/2018 19:23

Teateaandmoretea, it's absolutely not an excuse, if your work involves operating to legal deadlines you can not choose the PTA in the evening!!

BitchQueen90 · 13/05/2018 19:25

Because I'm a single working parent and already do volunteer work at a homeless hostel. I've got better things to do with the small amount of free time I have than get involved with the PTA. There are plenty of parents at my DS's school who are enthusiastic about volunteering for school related stuff. I am not one of them. I take my hat off to the parents that do and I'm very grateful to them but it's not my cup of tea at all. As for the poster who said they take annual leave to help out... fuck that quite frankly.

Every time I've been asked to be involved it's as a chaperone on school trips etc and I can't do it because I'm working. I'll take cakes in and spend money at the events, that's good enough for me.

Teateaandmoretea · 13/05/2018 19:26

goldenbear there is stuff that you could do if you wanted to that wouldn't cut into your terribly important deadlines. Why not just be honest that you'd rather not be involved?

Swipe left for the next trending thread