To ask why you don’t volunteer for school / PTA / Parent Council Events?

[whyismykid]

Is it because you are too busy? Don’t think it’s important? The people who organise these type of events are irritating? Think the school have all the funds they need so it’s not worth the bother?

What would enable you (or persuade you) to help out?

200 people attended the event I planned today and had a good time but only 8 people volunteered to help. I understand that the planning and preparing for events is time consuming (it totally is!) so I’d only expect a small number of people to be able to take that on, but it should be different for on the day help I would think? I made sure each volunteer slot was only 45 mins long, so that people could also take part with their families, and made it clear what each volunteer job involved. Online sign up
so super easy.

What else can I do? it’s a school of 750 pupils and I have a summer fair to attract volunteers for next, any ideas?

I do. I work ft, but I take vacation time a couple times a year to help out.

Oh my. Meetings during the day and not being able to bring the kids is insane. We host at our homes or at a local cafe (owned by a parent so free) with kids play area host at weekends.

What we value, we do. I value my community (school, neighborhood, church) so I help.

^YES!!!

But surely for the meetings you only need a core bunch of attendees to decide the events and the overall roles, then perhaps a sub-committee ( am dreading calling it that) to set up the school fete or specific event - and most of that could be done by whatsup group rather than F2F.

The vast majority of parents - be they men or women - just need to turn up to the event and do their slot. If the Dads have a particular propensity to want to lift tressle tables and man the BBQ then great - let them crack on - can't see the problem myself.

I used to (was chair!) but people are ungrateful, whiny brats and I can’t be arsed with that shit. I do what I can on the day of events now but that’s it.

I have five kids.
The eldest in their mid 20s
Youngest in year 3&5
I did PTA stuff with the eldest two.
I don't want to do it again.
I have a disabled OH and a disabled child and I work in a care related field.

I don't want to do stuff for other people in the few spare hours I have to myself.

Lots of answers to why not, OP. I used to be a governor of a primary school and very active in community events arranged around the school. I now do nothing, largely for the following reasons:

1. Time & location. I now work a 60 to 75-minute drive from where I live & where my kids go to school. I therefore can't get to early-evening events or meetings. Also, we're now in a large town and the kids are in large school & sixth-form college, without the same kind of community feel.

1. School status. The primary I was a governor of was a very small, rural C of E school. Despite my antipathy to the Church of England (or any other church, for that matter), I got on well with both vicars who sat on the board of governors and the church did not intrude on the running of the school. The local education authority was supportive, allowed governors a fair amount of autonomy and pointed out delicately if/when we were doing anything we possibly shouldn't be doing. From those days I have always instisted that I would never be a governor of an academy, where the trust (especially if a MAT) would have too much influence, there would be likely to be dubious financial practices and governors would be potentially legally responsible if the academy were to experience significant financial problems (which would be likely if the trust's executive officers were siphoning money off into their relatives' businesses, which appears to be pretty common). Having been active in raising a lot of money for equipment for the primary school, I am adamant that I will never do anything like this for an academy, where the equipment may be stolen at will, either to give to another school in the trust or for whatever other use the directors want to make of it. My younger daughter's school is part of a MAT, therefore I won't do anything for it.

1. School's contempt for parents. Think of the phrase iPads for Schools. Think of monopoly arrangements with overpriced school uniform suppliers. Think of pupils in textiles classes being told to buy their materials from the teacher's sister's shop. Think of termly demands for payments to provide essentials for "food technology" classes for which parents have to provide absolutely every ingredient - down to a pinch of salt - themselves. Realize this school sees parents as people to squeeze money out of, and nothing more. This deters me from making any efforts to help them raise money by other means. At the school I was a governor of we had a very tight budget but we still went out of our way to make sure uniforms were cheap and that parents didn't have to pay for any of the school's IT equipment, other than through voluntary fund-raising activities.

1. Busybodies. The trouble with any kind of communal effort like this is that some of the people who get involved will do so purely to recruit more mums (nearly always mums, with the occasional grandma or grandad) to their exclusive social network, so they have more foot-soldiers to bitch about everyone else, criticize the organizers and support them in their opinions of how they would do things. These people never, ever, actually do any work: they just undermine everyone else. And they are impossible to get rid of.

Im on our school PTA and it can be like pulling teeth to get people to show interest. I've found that showing people what you are raising money for helps - print out a picture of the whiteboard, bike racks, or guinea pig hutches and the prices involved gives them an idea of where the money is going.
Also get the children excited. If the child wants to attend, the parents usually take them and wait around, thus spend . School discos, BBQs with games, family quiz nights, talent shows, its a knock out.
Try and add value to school events which you know people are going to attend, serve cream teas at sports days and hot chocolate at natives.

I am treasurer on the preschool committee and a parent governor. I have four DC and work 30hours a week. BUT I do it because that is how I choose to spend my spare time (well sparish time). I like volunteering and contributing to the school. I enjoy the governor part, I go on training in the evenings and fit in monitoring visits around shifts. I like seeing how the school works. Also the school have been incredible with my SEN son and I wanted to give something back! I quite enjoy the preschool committee, because we have a laugh at meetings and eat cake. Also it is committee run and would have to close without a committee! Three of my children have gone there, it is a lovely village run preschool. I want to keep it going! (Difficult at the moment because of the thirty hour thing, but that's another thread!)

However, I made the choice to do these things. It means there are other things, that other people may feel are important, that I don't do! For example I never go on school trips, because I have two preschoolers. I feel that the choice not to do this sort of stuff is equally valid. You only have one life and you have to prioritise accordingly! I don't think anyone should feel guilty for not volunteering! I think it is really mean to just consign all non-volunteers as "takers" and volunteers as "givers".

What I would say though, is if you choose not to volunteer (perfectly valid) please try hard not to criticise events etc. They don't always come off exactly as planned but usually are a lot of hard work! Also with regards to the 'clique' factor, I try really hard not to be cliquey. However, especially with preschool it can be difficult. When you see other members at drop off you often end up chatting to them - firstly because you end up knowing them really well (seeing them at meetings and events) and also because you have to chat about upcoming stuff! However, we run coffee mornings for new members and try to be really friendly! Our meetings are all at seven thirty in the evening, so hopefully can be fitted around the work day!

I do little bits for the PTA in school. DH is on the PTA....but inevitably I do the baking bits!

For me it's because they are cliquey. When I attend meetings I don't feel welcome or included.

I don’t have the time to go to meetings which are when I’m working in a neighbouring school. Nor in the evenings as I’m knackered after work.

In the case of my daughters school Also because it is cliquey, nothing they have bought with funds (which they rarely seem to do, money just sits in the bank) helped either of my children in the 7 years they were there as they were not on the football team.
Also if you are on the pta you get front row seats at all assemblies, Christmas shows, p7 leavers show etc. Which I think is rediculous and discriminative to those who aren’t able to be part of the pta due to home/family circumstances.

Also because as a single parent evening meetings aren't possible.

I don't go to PTA meetings and organise things because they are in the pub ( I don't drink) in the evening (I'm not paying for a baby sitter) and because I don't have time to be fully involved.

I don't actually work well in a team so if people are spending hours of effort on something unimportant like bunting in the hall it gets on my nerves!

I'm a processes and spreadsheet girl and I recognise I haven't got time to set up spreadsheet of what stalls went well and made a good return for minimum effort and no one views that as important anyway.

However I do volunteer for a stall as I feel if I am going to be there and my children enjoy the event then standing taking money for 45 minutes is entirely reasonable for a couple of hours entertainment for the children.

What I would say though, is if you choose not to volunteer (perfectly valid) please try hard not to criticise events etc.

^^This. I once got moaned after an event at because a glittery pencil q child had won had a broken lead in it. Not even in a 'Charlie won this prize but was really disappointed because ... I don't suppose you have any spare' way either.

But you notice that people on here with children at private schools are obviously exempt from feeling they need to spend the time raising funds for the school.

So it’s just guilt for poor people then? Only poor people need to kill themselves working full time, doing life admin and volunteering at every turn?

I do bits to help out. Am not on the PTA but no some volunteering at Christmas or Summer fete as well as other volunteering in school.

Why I don’t do more:

I work part time as a teacher which is quite full on (ie I do work on my days off, evenings and weekends). I am quite sick of the sight of schools!

I have a chronic illness so don’t have much spare energy.

Some of the things the PTA do I disagree with, such as gendered toys at summer fete.

The cliquey or at least not very welcoming to new parents atmosphere when all the main PTA-ers get together.

Weirdly, the fact that the PTA tend to have multiple children. I have one child not by choice and so my time at the school is shorter than theirs - I feel less invested. I also find they want to talk about all their children and their various school experiences a lot.

I don’t have school spirit. Didn’t as a pupil, don’t as a teacher, and don’t as a parent. I try to do ‘my bit’ but I don’t like schools as social/cultural entities.

I have been on various commitees and boards over the years, and organised many events. This is what I have learnt:

• people generally don't want to help, but they often do want to show up

• it is invariably the same people again and again who do help; use them, get them involved, and don't badger people who aren't interested, it is annoying for them and disheartening for you (know your volunteer pool); you can sometimes get someone to do a specific task if you know that they are particularly suited to it (we had a dad run a computer programming workshop even though he had never done as single other thing and never did again)

• if you don't like how things are being done (or think it could be done better, more efficiently etc), SAY SOMETHING

• only hold events which

a) can be organised very easily and with the least no. of volunteers possible and b) you can totally justify holding either because they are super fund-raisers or they are genuinely enjoyable social events

• good planning is everything

• the best meetings are short and to the point

A few years ago I was utterly fed up with one big event which we ran every year, hundreds showed up yet we had to literally beg for volunteers or do everything ourselves. We radically changed the way we did it, organised it, the things we offered...and while we still didn't have more volunteers, it was actually fun to do and we didn't all feel put-upon and depressed afterwards. It made me realise that it's not about motivating everyone to help - that is not going to happen for so many reasons (as this thread shows) - the change had to happen at the other end iyswim.

Sprinklesinmyelbow - I was really surprised to find out that private schools have really active PTAs. The local boys prep has about £90,000 just swilling about!

fontofnoknowledge you are not really telling me that one type of volunteering is a worthier cause than another one

I'm absolutely amazed at your gall. You must be an absolutely perfect human being, who gives to every single charity in existence, and volunteering for every single cause in existence, to feel able to judge others?

How dare you call a school more worthy than the British Heart Foundation - I would never ever feel so morally superior as to call my chosen cause worthier than another's, but I guess it takes all sorts in this world.

i did in the infants, it was nice, however the chair of the juniors is awful as are her henchmen, they invite input and then get really offended if you actually give any.
What they want is people to do as they're told and gush over how wonderful they are.

They can piss off.

So it’s just guilt for poor people then? Only poor people need to kill themselves working full time, doing life admin and volunteering at every turn?

My kids went to a private school when they were younger and we were required to volunteer 10 hours each semester.

Also - we do about 80% of all our planning online now, mainly in private FB groups or WhatsApp. Takes away the problem of meetings as not everyone ahs to come anyway.

Required how Steff? Did the children get kicked out if you didn’t do it? What a little nazi school