Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sick of Facebook pages/threads moaning about being a mum?

98 replies

Hugsythespacecowboy · 13/05/2018 13:32

Like yeah, it's hard, it's tiring, it is shit at times, but there are so many pages and articles and mushy poems being circulated at the moment and I'm absolutely sick of seeing them.

Parenthood is hard. We get it. The childless must be absolutely rolling their eyes.

OP posts:
RedPanda2 · 13/05/2018 19:02

All the mums I know moan incessantly about having kids, and then wonder why I'm childfree!

MonicaGellerHyphenBing · 13/05/2018 19:54

Actually for me I am sick to death of all the sickly-sweet declarations of love made by new mums of newborns and the constant chirping on about how wonderful and amazing and special life is with their new angel miracle 🙄. They post perfectly posed photos and gush about how truly BLESSED they are to be a mum despite the fact they have only been one for about 3 minutes. Ulgh.

OhTheTastyNuts · 13/05/2018 21:17

I agree OP.

By the end of half term/Easter/any random long weekend my Facebook feed was always full of women needing intravenous wine because of spending time with their children.

My kids can be tricky but they can also be wonderful. I enjoy spending time with them.

I've deleted Facebook.

SemperIdem · 13/05/2018 21:22

Yanbu op.

Everyone can have an awful day with their children but some people make me wonder why they ever bothered having any.

Boswellox · 13/05/2018 21:27

"You're not alone" should generate comfort not the opposite, surely?

auditqueen · 13/05/2018 21:32

Another childless person here. For those who think only mothers have it hard, this was mine and my partners' weekend.

  • clean house as it looked as though a bomb had hit it (due to two people who have been busy with other things and haven't had time to clean all week)
-batch cook for us for the week as we won't have time when we get in from work -cook meals for my sick MIL because my partner's sister who has two teenage children and is a SAHM is far too busy with her family to visit her mother -take meals to MIL and do her washing and housework -drive the 30 miles home and remember we haven't done our own washing and partner is out of clean underpants and socks
  • pay some bills but get interrupted by my father who is feeling lonely and wants a chat
  • bills don't get paid
  • do two more loads of washing
  • visit my father 20 miles away - take him shopping and do his housework and washing
  • get home in time for partner to take over on call - gets one, goes out
  • I get a call from his sister complaining about how exhausting her life is
  • bills still not paid and we're both in work at 6am tomorrow
NameChangeCuzImAHorriblePerson · 13/05/2018 21:37

It's attention seeking bullshit. I saw a post today about how hard it is having twins and it's OK to admit it's hard blah blah blah - I don't really find it that hard, does that mean I'm lying because I won't declare it to the world?

dingdongdigeridoo · 13/05/2018 22:44

Yeah I hate the twee ‘I’m such a bad mummy! I need gin!’ type bullshit on there. If you’re so damn busy, how come you’ve got time to type up long essays about how hard your life is? Half of them seem to be passive aggressively posting this stuff because they want their useless partners to see it.

chestylarue52 · 14/05/2018 13:56

no one ever tells you how hard it’s going to be

Except everyone, all the time, ad infinitum

SayCoolNowSayWhip · 14/05/2018 14:10

@auditqueen - now try doing all that whilst bringing up two small humans.

I really am tired of people who don't have children say that they know what it's like. You don't. You have not grown something inside of you and fed it from the moment it was born. You have not been solely responsible for this tiny life that you created. You do not know.

Anyway, back to the thread... That particular blog the OP linked to was horrifically written, plus how can she complain when she doesn't appear to have a full time job like so many of us do - so we have to do everything on that list AND hold down a full time job.

Parenting IS hard. It's also amazing and wonderful. But it's bloody hard. To whomever said upthread about people's levels of tolerance - that is so true. I get constantly "touched out" by my children climbing on me until I physically need to run away and not be touched by anyone or anything.

You don't like it, you don't read it. Personally it makes me feel more normal to hear other people complain, because when I complain I get made to feel guilty, as if I'm not a proper mother, or the classic "Well why did you have kids if you're just going to complain about them?!" as if it's always that simple.

SaucyJack · 14/05/2018 14:16

There are a few that were/are funny a few years back, but I agree the joke has worn very thin.

There's a woman near me who insists on sharing her blog posts to the local parenting group whether anyone is interested or not, and it all just sounds so horribly bitter and nasty.

InThisTogether · 14/05/2018 14:21

Agreed OP- took me over 5 years to have my little one and yes- it is bloody hard sometimes but I said over those years I'd never complain and so far I've stuck to that. Even on the shitty, hard, exhausting days this is still something i spent half a decade dreaming of and I'm so grateful for him.

Goldmonday · 14/05/2018 14:26

It all drives me nuts. I am childless but have sworn to never use social media in such a way. It's humiliating. I don't think people realise that women have given birth and reared children for 1000s of years, in much worse conditions and more difficult times than today.

Obviously it's hard no one is saying that it isn't. But there is such an air that you can't possibly have experienced hard work unless you have been a mother.

auditqueen · 14/05/2018 17:04

I really am tired of people who don't have children say that they know what it's like. You don't. You have not grown something inside of you and fed it from the moment it was born. You have not been solely responsible for this tiny life that you created. You do not know

And I am really sick and tired of mummy martyrs thinking that only they have hard lives, that only they work hard, that only they have responsibilities and, even better only they understand love and life.

auditqueen · 14/05/2018 17:05

And for the record I didn't say I knew what it was like. My defective reproductive system denied me that opportunity

BrutusMcDogface · 14/05/2018 17:24

I really am tired of people who don't have children say that they know what it's like. You don't. You have not grown something inside of you and fed it from the moment it was born. You have not been solely responsible for this tiny life that you created. You do not know

ouch

This is very, very below the belt. Shame on you, @SayCoolNowSayWhip

BrutusMcDogface · 14/05/2018 17:26

FWIW, much as they try my patience and generate so much extra work, I adore my children and I feel so very grateful to have them. Some people aren't as lucky. Flowers

silverpenguin · 14/05/2018 18:07

I find them amusing every now and again. And sometimes I like to have a good moan as well (to my friends/DH, not online!!)

I agree there's too many of these bloggers now though. I'm also really confused by the blog linked by the OP because it just sounds like she had a normal day and I can't work out what is so hard about it?!

Alexkate2468 · 15/05/2018 05:52

@brutus, how is what @saycool said below the belt?

You really can't know what these things are like unless you've experienced them. You can imagine but that's it. Its like I can never really understand what it's like to suffer a chronic illness or experience the death of a loved one. I can imagine it but i will never truly understand until I've been there myself and even then, every experience is unique.

The love of a parent to a child is different. It IS special. That doesn't mean that others don't understand love, just that they don't understand that type of love.

Also, those saying they don't like the newborn full of love posts. Again, I honestly had no idea how intense that feeling for my DD was until I met her. I honestly did feel like the only woman to have given birth (obviously I did know that I wasn't) but after years of infertility I was so happy in my little bubble that I honestly didn't care of anyone thought I was one of those obsessed mummy posters. As it happens, the majority of my FB friends are close RL friends and genuinely care about me and my family so seeing me happy isn't too painful for them, just like I like seeing them happy.

As said before, you can choose not to look if stuff bothers you.

user1493423934 · 15/05/2018 06:57

the one OP Posted looks like an actual page created rather than an actual person? just don't follow pages like that! Simple really.

schnubbins · 15/05/2018 07:08

Seems to me as the mother of two that many mothers seem to think they deserve a nobel prize for having children . As if it was something invented the other day.Drives me nuts and its just not on Facebook , its everywhere.Bla Bla Bla.

Sprinklesinmyelbow · 15/05/2018 07:40

Alexkate id hazard a guess that post is ouchy to adoptive parents

But again, in the same way that people have different levels of being able to cope with the difficulty of parenthood surely it makes sense that people have different levels of emotional intelligence? There was no surprise at all to me how much I loved my children, no surprises. I found it easy to imagine/ understand before I had children. Just because others couldn’t imagine it doesn’t mean it’s impossible

Hiphopster · 15/05/2018 07:44

STFU parents used to be great but then I think the author struggled to get over Trump’s election and it started to get a bit political then appears to have stopped altogether

timeisnotaline · 15/05/2018 07:45

There must be lots of fb pages which would drive me spare. So I don’t read or follow them.

DragonMummy1418 · 15/05/2018 07:45

It helps for people with depression to talk about how their feeling... but hang on - you don't like it so let's all bottle our feelings up.

You don't know how people are feeling and what support they need.

Swipe left for the next trending thread