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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would it be petty to refuse new neighbour’s request?

295 replies

isthispetty · 12/05/2018 19:40

I live in a cul de sac - the houses are in a semi circle and my house is on the one of the ends.

A few years ago, our next door neighbours knocked down their detached house and replaced it with two semi-detached houses. They live in one of the houses and sold the other.

Consequently, they live in number 9, the other house is 9A and my house is number 10.

The people in 9A have recently moved, and we have some new next door neighbours.

This morning, the woman from 9A came round and asked if we would be willing to change our house number to 11, so they could be number 10. She says that loads of their post and deliveries keep getting sent to number 9, and she just thinks it would be easier.

Would it be unreasonable to say no? I’m used to living at ‘number 10’ - we’ve lived here for years! And I’d have to go through the effort of changing our address, and contacting everyone we know and getting it changed officially and legally.

Or should I just be neighbourly and agree?

OP posts:
randomchatter · 13/05/2018 18:15

I'd say no. It's good to be friendly with neighbours but there are lots of 9a's in the country with similar issues. Why ask you to change your number and suffer a similar inconvenience !

No. 9a should contact the Post Office in the first instance to complain about mislaid post or the postie getting things wrong... It's just a matter of time.

Also your changing your number could have knock on effects for Number 11, 12 etc!

browneyes77 · 13/05/2018 18:21

Tell her no.

Your house was there as No 10 before her house even existed as 9A so it’s not your problem. She knew the house number when she moved in. Tough titties.

shadypines · 13/05/2018 18:22

OP, no way would it be petty...this is one of the cheekiest things I have ever heard!! How can they dream of asking you to do that??!!

When they moved into 9a they should have considered the post situation, it's their problem not yours.

NewPapaGuinea · 13/05/2018 18:23

They can either be “11” (loads of roads have numbers out of sequence) or change their number to a name.

troodiedoo · 13/05/2018 18:27

Flaming cheek of it! How can people have the gall to even ask stuff like this!

Ditzyitzy · 13/05/2018 18:31

Surely it’s easier for number 9 to put a sign on the door saying they keep getting 9A’s post? Changing your house number will be a massive PITA!

PeachyPeachTrees · 13/05/2018 18:35

I am 20a and in the 10 years I've lived here my mail has gone to 20 or 21 maybe 5 times and I have had their mail a handful of times. Not only is it rare but also, I don't have to go far to sort it out as they are only next door!
Just politely tell her that a number can be added but not changed. End of.

biscuitmillionaire · 13/05/2018 18:35

Changing the number would cause HUUUUGE complications with property deeds, mortgage, council tax register, voting register, credit references.... It's not just about getting mail.

DrinkYourGreenTea · 13/05/2018 18:37

No way. I would never change my house number. There will be loads of work involved legally changing your number and not to mention, with banking.

They should have thought of that before they bought the house. But if I was them, I wouldn't mind if the neighbours at 9 got my post and put it through my letter box and vice versa.

SuperSuperSuper · 13/05/2018 18:37

It would inconvenience you significantly.

She needs better signage and a word with the postie.

paxillin · 13/05/2018 18:38

My parents' house changed number 15 years ago. The whole street did, quite dramatically (something like used to be 235 and is now 12). It's still not sorted, post still gets lost 15 years on. I would say no.

Let 9 got 9A and 9B.

FaveNumberIs2 · 13/05/2018 18:38

No. Absolutely not. Tell her if she didn’t want to live at 9a, she shouldn’t have bought 9a

Or tell her to name her house.

Donebitchin is a good one.

PeachyPeachTrees · 13/05/2018 18:40

My friends live on a cul de sac of only 10 houses. They are the first house, number 1. The plot of land next to them had 2 houses built on them 20 years after the original houses. They are 11 and 12. So as you enter the cul de sac it goes 11, 12, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. My friends have a clear number sign and no issues.

OJZJ · 13/05/2018 18:43

Not read all posts so probably duplicating but NO you are not BU .....and what about all your future post being delivered to them as they are now number 10 and your are number 11 but people forgetting and putting 10....

PeachyPeachTrees · 13/05/2018 18:45

Agree with others, it's not like changing address and redirecting mail and telling people. It's changing the house number given to the plot of land. It could cause significant big problems for years, not just a bit of annoying paperwork.

troodiedoo · 13/05/2018 18:52

Donebitchin is a good one.

Grin

CF Cottage

AtypicalMan · 13/05/2018 18:53

I know it would make the numbers out of sequence but why doesn't just her remember from 9a to 11 ??

pollymere · 13/05/2018 18:54

House numbering is a fire station/land registry/post office issue. Most deeds say you own the plot known as 10 Cul de Sac. I would suggest they give their house a name so as to separate it from number 9. The Willows, 9a Cul de Sac, Yourtown.

celticprincess · 13/05/2018 18:56

We have postal issues. I’ve no front door. It was take out for French doors so no letterbox. Post comes to the back. It’s an old terrace type house and most people use the back as it has the road. I had trouble not receiving the free newspaper - jobcentre insisted I referenced it for job searches. So I asked the paper boy who refused to deliver round the back. We also had trouble with post going missing and getting loads a few days later than expected. I contacted the post office and asked if I should put up a box at the front but they told me not to bother as it would confuse the postmen more and that lots of post is delivered to the back on our streets. So I never bothered.

You are joy being unreasonable not to change. It won’t help the situation. Not sure if there could be land registry costs but likely costs in other areas such as mortgage etc.

SeamusMacDubh · 13/05/2018 18:57

I can’t believe the brass neck on people, I think I would have laughed in her face. How ridiculous to ask you to change your house number to convenience themselves (and really inconvenience you!)

LifeBeginsAtGin · 13/05/2018 18:58

Does she think you can just pop down to B and Q to buy new door numbers? I think this has to be done legally.

ChocolateWombat · 13/05/2018 19:03

You can say 'no' in a friendly way. There's loads involved in doing what she's asking and she probably just hasn't realised all the stuff about the deeds, mortgage, council knowing, land registry etc.

Personally I would drop her a friendly note and just point out how much complicated stuff is involved in what she's asking and that you have years worth of contacts both personal and business that know you as no. Whatever you are. Say that perhaps she hasn't realised the huge amount of complicated stuff involved, so although you understand why she's asking you're going to regretfully say 'no'. Suggest that perhaps a larger or couple of extra number signs will help with the issues she's been having. And then also say you're looking forward to being neighbours and hope she will let you know her mob no and you'll text her and invite her round for a coffee.

People aren't always the CFs people seem to think...somethings they are just a bit unthinking and don't realise the full implications of their request. You can say 'no' in a friendly way - which isn't what a lot of people seem to be suggesting.

anonymousbird · 13/05/2018 19:15

NO WAY!!!!! I live at an "A" which is a fill in house and that's just how it is! I occasionally (very) get a wrong letter or parcel and vice versa to my NDN but it's no biggie and I quite like the "A"!

Ugh, you'd have to change so much stuff and it would end up causing more confusion that it was solving.

NO NO NO, YANBU at all.

salsah · 13/05/2018 19:16

Suggest that she hangs hers to number 11 - so it would be 9, 11, 10 - easily explainable as odds on one side, evens on the other and just happens to be at the end.

Newsofas · 13/05/2018 19:18

I would imagine she thinks she can increase the value of her house:-) supposedly full numbers sell at a higher price than an 8a for example. The letter issue sounds like a white lie.