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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would it be petty to refuse new neighbour’s request?

295 replies

isthispetty · 12/05/2018 19:40

I live in a cul de sac - the houses are in a semi circle and my house is on the one of the ends.

A few years ago, our next door neighbours knocked down their detached house and replaced it with two semi-detached houses. They live in one of the houses and sold the other.

Consequently, they live in number 9, the other house is 9A and my house is number 10.

The people in 9A have recently moved, and we have some new next door neighbours.

This morning, the woman from 9A came round and asked if we would be willing to change our house number to 11, so they could be number 10. She says that loads of their post and deliveries keep getting sent to number 9, and she just thinks it would be easier.

Would it be unreasonable to say no? I’m used to living at ‘number 10’ - we’ve lived here for years! And I’d have to go through the effort of changing our address, and contacting everyone we know and getting it changed officially and legally.

Or should I just be neighbourly and agree?

OP posts:
BoomBoomsCousin · 12/05/2018 22:41

You could work out what you think it would cost you (in time, effort, inconvenience, fees, lower credit rating, etc) and offer to do it for a payment of that amount. Enough after expenses for a very nice holiday?

But YANBU to just say no.

AuntyJackiesBrothersSistersBoy · 12/05/2018 22:46

No. They bought the property as 9A. CF.

SleepFreeZone · 12/05/2018 22:53

Errm no, that would get met with a door in the face I’m afraid. I agree with PP that she’d be better off adding a house name to her address and encouraging the other 9 to do the same.

ObiJuanKenobi · 12/05/2018 22:56

What wankers

Cuckooclocks · 12/05/2018 22:58

Tell the neighbour it’s too much hassle for you to change your addres everywhere and they should just be number 11. It’s no big deal if 11 is next to 9 instead of 10

ColdCottage · 12/05/2018 23:01

I'd say no as the problems she has will then be yours and she will still have the same problems. The only person who may be better off of no.9.

I think if you explain your reasons in a nice way then she should understand. She probably thought no harm in asking and there isn't as long as she is happy to accept you saying no then no harm done to either party.

I hope it goes well.

Madonnasmum · 12/05/2018 23:07

I don't think she legally could do it even if you agreed. She's 9a for a reason!

BrendasUmbrella · 12/05/2018 23:18

Very cheeky of her to expect you to take on the time and expense to make her life easier. Advise her to change her house address to a name "Cheeky Fucker Heights", for instance.

Lisapops · 12/05/2018 23:27

Say no! You would just inherit all the problems they currently have now! CF!

Wobblybitts · 12/05/2018 23:38

They’re just having teething problems. Tell her to give it some time

crimsonlake · 12/05/2018 23:59

I think they were really rude to even ask.

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 13/05/2018 00:03

If you change your address won’t they be in the same position? (If you have a regular postie then they would have got used to your number being 10 so will continue to deliver no.10s mail to you

BertrandRussell · 13/05/2018 00:04

I would probably say no because of the hassle.

But the aggressive responses on here are extraordinary. Why react like that to someone just asking?

Pinga · 13/05/2018 00:10

I wouldnt agree to that. Your mail will end up going to them.

violetbunny · 13/05/2018 00:22

She will quite possibly have a whole new set of problems she hasn't anticipated if you both change your house numbers.

We aren't in the UK (but live in a country you'd expect to be relatively organised about these things) and live in a building which was converted to flats. So our address was added just before we moved in. We have been here 4 years but the first couple of years posties, internet providers and even the power company couldn't find our address (as despite being registered it still didn't "exist" on many companies' systems). We had a census this year and no one sent us papers! We have been missed off every single council notification about roadworks in the area (of which there are many).

Loandbeholdagain · 13/05/2018 00:30

I am normally one to agree to neighbours requests for an easy life, but that sounds like it would cause a real headache for you. Say no.

StaplesCorner · 13/05/2018 00:33

What on earth has it got to do with you?! Do you seriously have to post here to ask about it? Just say no and mark their card for future reference - they're either away with the fairies or CFs.

Evangelinee · 13/05/2018 00:51

@StaplesCorner Sounds like you need some sleep.

PickAChew · 13/05/2018 00:56

Tell them to take a running jump

Our row of 1930s semis has 8, 8A and 8B because number 9 is across the road!

StaplesCorner · 13/05/2018 00:59

@Evangelinee - I haven't said anything unusual so you'd probably need to pick out every poster on here who's said they are cheeky fuckers etc., and advise them the same. Or maybe you're tucked up in bed!

Evangelinee · 13/05/2018 01:00

@StaplesCorner You seem to have your back up about the OP posting in AIBU to ask if she is being unreasonable.

MrsCrabbyTree · 13/05/2018 01:09

If your NDN doesn't want the hassle of simply and easily popping mail into the correct letterbox why in the world would they think you're up for alllllll the hassles and problems (and time) associated with a house number change, even if it is at all possible! Talk about making your problems someone else's.

Another big fat NO from me too.

whatwedointheshadows · 13/05/2018 01:37

@violetbunny are you in NZ by any chance? My SIL has had similar issues. Even now they are registered with the post office, but because their new build house isn't on google, she has to have anything she orders online delivered to ours as the computer systems don't recognise it. They built the house over three years ago.

IsItThatTimeAlready131 · 13/05/2018 04:31

I wonder if, when looking at buying the house, your new neighbours weren't sure about being 9A and it came up in conversation with the old owners or estate agent. They were then afraid of losing the potential sale over the number so someone said "Nice people at no. 10 would change their number for you, just ask after you're settled in, they really are lovely people and will agree to anything etc. etc. etc." Simper, simper, butter up, butter up, please buy my house I want to get moved kind of thing.

It might not be all your new neighbours doing and they might not have checked if it can be done or thought of how much of a pain it would be to do, it could be partly down to old owners or estate agents being cheeky.

Of course, it might all be down to your new neighbours and they might just be the cheeky ones here. Maybe they co-own stole a house in Mexico and want their house here to have the same number, or have an Elderly Korean Lady moving into the shed and she's going to be 9A and they want to be 10 rather than 9B.

Either way it would be a big fat "No" from me, and if they don't understand just keep repeating.

violetbunny · 13/05/2018 04:51

@whatwedointheshadows Yes, we are! Haha, maybe NZ is just crap at this then. It's very annoying!