To accept this money?

[LastGoodbye]

My cars been playing up and I could really do with something newer. Me and Dd have just moved house, so don't have loads in savings at the moment but can afford to be putting some away each month.
I get on ok with Dd’s dad and I’d asked him about my car, he knows cars and said he thinks I’m best trading in now.
I don’t have enough to buy out right so was considering finance but he’s said he’ll lend me the money and just give me a bit less in maintenance while I pay it back. He pays more than he should anyway and said if I’m struggling I can always say and he won’t reduce that month.

It will save me money as no interest and I’m not sure I’d even get finance as I only work part time. But he is my ex and when I mentioned it to a friend who said “no way, should I borrow from him and that he will in effect own my car”. But he’s also Dd’s Dad and me having a reliable car effects her.

But now I’m not sure if I’m unreasonable to say yes and if he only offered because he’s DD’s Dad and feels he should.

You would be taking advantage of him if you accept and things can turn sour very quickly you're friend is absolutely right.

No way, 3k is plenty to get a decent car. Buy it outright and don't owe anyone.

If he lost his job he couldn't pay you as much maintenance and of course you already owe him £50 a week. If he got a new gf he might not be able to afford as much as he gives now. If he got sick or hurt and couldn't earn....

So many bad possibilities, but your own 3k car.

I’m only looking at fiesta/Ibiza size type. So small is fine, but I do quite a lot of miles and ex thinks I should go for pretty much new, so still have some warranty etc.

My worry with finance is if he then stops the extra money and I’m paying that out, I might struggle a bit.

He knows I don’t want to get back together and us separating was his fault/choice at the time.

I think it's clear he's doing it because he's still soft for you.
If he's taking off £50 a week/ £200 a month, how much cm is he paying?!

I think he feels guilty as he bought my current car (when we were together) and it’s been a pain! Plus I drive a lot and on lots of country roads etc, with dd in the car and I think he just wants us in something safe and reliable.

He’s offered me his, until I’m sorted with one and he loves that car almost as much as dd.

I personally would worry that after the 2 years he would say, well you have managed without this £50 a week for this long, I am not putting it back up.

I also don't think you need to borrow so much. Get a cheaper car and get finance for the difference.

I think I’d look at a £5k zone car in that case - a nice little Toyota Yaris or Auris or a Seat Ibiza or a Skoda fabia. All nice and reliable and in the zone where you will be able to find one 5years old, with around 50k miles on it. You’d have paid it back within a year.

I think that you should do it, he wants his daughter to be safe and in a reliable car, so it is also in his interest to lend you the money. Plus he saves money monthly by giving you £200 less, which may also be advantageous if his circumstances change.

You can get a new Dacia Sandero for £6k!!!!!

TBH if you are that hard up for cash, get a cheap one, my best mate has a 700 quid one she bought about 3 years ago and it works fine. Similar to me, I had 2 bangers during uni a few yrs ago and both cost under a grand [1 around 600quid, the other around 800] and they both lasted me years. An expensive car is a luxury, not a necessity.

My current car is only 6 years old Etymology. My worry is I’ll end up with one like this and it will start having problems.

In two years, I’ll be fine Dextro I’m currently studying, so only working very part time but I’ll be finished and able to work full time by then. So if he stops extra, it will be fine.

I just don’t know

I wouldn't borrow money from an ex. I'm sure it's a well meaning offer, but these things can quickly sour. I wonder if he'd still be so accommodating if you met someone new? And (and I mean this in the nicest possible way) stop replying on him for car advice. If you don't want to be with him, and he wants to get together, all this will just give him false hope!

I would use the £3k as a deposit and get a loan for the rest.

Could you borrow less? I just bought a very good reliable car for less than 4K. Maybe borrow 1k instead or 2k max.
I don't think it sounds like he is doing it for leverage so wouldn't be concerned about that.

I’m not really hard up boywith. But I’ve just bought a house which used most of my savings and I like to be cautious. I’m thinking I could probably easily pay him back more than he’s planning and could still manage the £200, if he reduced maintenance. But I don’t like not having a cushion and if I borrow from him, I can build my savings up and if need be pay him back early.

He’s not fussed on the paying back, initially he said he’d get me one. I insisted it had to be a loan.

I’m really not sure I trust a older car, breaking down on a country lane with dd was pretty scary. Didn’t even have phone reception, so had to walk till I got signal. At least it wasn’t dark, but I don’t want to be risking it in winter!

I would, but me and my ex are best friends and help each other out anyway. It depends on the relationship and how he is I suppose

I would look at Ford and see if they are still doing the £2000 scrappage deal.

That gets you £2000 off a new Ford.
Put the £3000 down as a deposit.

Pay £99 a month until you own it.

If there is a final payment due in 3 years, start putting that away now by standing order.

No MOTs for 3 years.

He knows I’m seeing someone VioletCharlotte and so is he.

Japanese cars v reliable and cheap. Diesel cheap now.
British cars cheap to repair but always going wrong

My £3000 is with what I expect to get for mine not as well. I’ll look at the Ford thing, but think when I looked at low finance options like £99 I’d end up owing a lot on a car that then wouldn’t be worth that! Which seems silly when he’s got the money and he’s willing.

Well it's sounds like you've pretty much made up your mind so go for it, if that's what you think is best.

However if it was me, I'd be wanting to cut ties with an ex as much as possible.

''I’m really not sure I trust a older car, breaking down on a country lane with dd was pretty scary. ''

my two bangers rarely gave me problems, i had both for 2 years each and until they fell apart they really saw me through. I was paying 400 quid a year each for them around when I balance the figures.

I had a banger before this one and that was even worse. If I don’t take the ex up on his offer, I think I’ll fix mine and hope that’s it for now.
I’ve only been driving a few years so I’m feeling a bit nervous now about breaking down, again!
I think it must just be me and cars.

I’m really not sure VioletCharlotte I’m 50/50 at the moment.

we recently bought a 5 door Citroen c1 from motorpoint for about 5.5k so you would need finance with them for about 2.5k a lot less than you would be borrowing from your ex. it is 2 yrs old so has 1 yr left on warranty. That's not much smaller than a fiesta. I would shop around and if you are borrowing from him borrow less but if you can I would get a loan for the amount and not owe him.

I think a lot of people on here are speaking from a place of having had difficulties with ex’s. I would have no problem with borrowing money from my ex and father of my first. He is a decent bloke and I know it would be without strings. Only you know your ex. It sounds fine to me!