to be annoyed at these comments?

[DrowningEveryDay]

I met a friend after many years and I was telling him about my husband's plan for the future.

Conversation went like this:

Me: So we're planning to use this XX visa option to move to the XX.

Friend: But you need a job for that right?

Me: Yes. Well apparently the XX visa does not get a lot of applicants so it's easy since only a quarter or less of the limit gets filled.

Friend: Yes, but he needs to be hired for that right?

---

Me: So I met up with a penpal from childhood who's now living here and she was so weird in person.

Friend: Because she thinks she has a successful husband.

Me: But my husband is also successful.

---

I did not notice the tone until I was home.

Was my friend throwing shade at my husband?

What.?

Think it sounds like he was just asking more detail, wouldn't think anything of it but I do think your post lay out is slightly confusing so maybe I'm wrong

Sorry, these were two different conversation, not right next to each other.

For context, my friend is very successful in his field.

Well the first example sounds like she was right, or at least from what I can make out

The second has nothing to do with your husband at all, it was she "thinks" she has a successful husband i.e. she thinks she does but she doesn't, your husband doesn't feature at all, not from what I can see at least

WTF? Conversation 2 makes zero sense

For conversation 2, it ended with him saying "but she does not know that".

I just thought he was thinking my husband isn't successful that's why he automatically thought/assumed the penfriend was weird because she thinks she has a successful husband (compared to mine).

Not quite sure what your point is.

Conversation 1 sounds factual. So if you said you want to move on a marine biologist visa your friend was clarifying that you need to have a marine biologist job to go to, you can't just get a visa without a job in the relevant field.

The crossed out conversation makes no sense but I see no offence to your DH in it.

I think you worry too much about what people think about your husband and his perceived place in the world.

Still dont understand but maybe im just being dense

I too am dense. This doesn't make sense to me.

Me: So I met up with a penpal from childhood who's now living here and she was so weird in person
Friend: Because she thinks she has a successful husband.
Why does your friend think the penpal is weeks for thinking she boss's a successful husband? There nasty be more to the conversation than that

Me: But my husband is also successful
What the heck has you're husband got to do with it. Does he have to feature in every conversation? I'm getting a coffee, my husband likes coffee. I'm getting a divorce, my husband would never get a divorce etc+

Are you insecure about his work and prospects?

Why is a visa easy if only 1/4 applicants are successful?

Why does your friend think the penpal is weeks for thinking she boss's a successful husband?

I don't know! For context, he's separated from his wife. Just found it weird that his mind went there after I said my penfriend was so weird in person. Like automatically, he thought the penfriend was belittling me?

It’s funny you should mention cheese, my husband likes cheese

Why is a visa easy if only 1/4 applicants are successful?

No, only 1/4 of the limit gets filled. There are not a lot of applicants since the move is to a country with a similar/or some say lower quality of life. That's why it's supposedly easy to get this visa.

But you must have mentioned something about her and her husband??

Like automatically, he thought the penfriend was belittling me? well without knowing what you said that she said, I dont see how his comment suggests he thought she was belittling you. You are massively projecting

What the heck has you're husband got to do with it. Does he have to feature in every conversation? I'm getting a coffee, my husband likes coffee. I'm getting a divorce, my husband would never get a divorce etc+

No, I mentioned that because he said my friend was weird because she has a successful husband. I thought he meant my penfriend was feeling superior. My point was that, my husband is also successful so it could not be the case. In my mind, at least.

Are you insecure about his work and prospects?

Sorry cross post

But you must have mentioned something about her and her husband??

I told her my penfriend moved here because her husband found a job as a professor in a university. That's about it.

Are you insecure about his work and prospects?

No. I'm confident.

Actually, it never even occurred to me that the visa needing a job was a problem because I just automatically assumed my husband will get it. From stories of people he works with, the job isn't that difficult to get, especially since not a lot of people want to move from where we are.

well without knowing what you said that she said, I dont see how his comment suggests he thought she was belittling you. You are massively projecting

I told her my penfriend moved here because her husband found a job as a professor in a university. That's about it.

Ahh ok it was hard to read as its crossed out on your op?

Is it a country visa or a credit visa? Sounds like country?

Even so if you need a job surely she was just stating the facts. Are you insecure as he is out if work at the moment?