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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To the woman on the bus...

62 replies

Slitherout · 10/05/2018 16:10

I was on the bus earlier and there were only two older women on besides me (and obvs the driver) - one of my colleagues rang me, I felt I had to answer and talked for literally a couple of minutes then put my phone away again, I wasn't loud, wasn't swearing, there's no phone ban on the bus, I was sat far away from them, nothing I can see to object to. As we were getting off 5 mins later one of the women complained to the bus driver about me being on my phone and then, as I passed her on the street, told me in a very incensed manner how rude and ignorant I was. I didn't say anything to her, which was the best thing I could do at that moment but AIBU to think she was ridiculous to complain, twice at that?

If you were the woman on the bus - thanks. I'm having a hell of a week, I (and my colleagues) work with some incredibly vulnerable people and a whole shitstorm is happening with some of them (not that unusual tbh) and we're trying to prop them up the best we can. Without outing myself, one of them will probably not be alive this time next week and it's really getting to me at the moment but I'm managing to do my job professionally, hold myself together and look after my family so if you could just manage to not be so judgey that would be great.

I fully appreciate you haven't a clue what's going on for me and you may have just as much or more going on in your own life but maybe you wouldn't like it either if someone went out of their way to make life the tiniest bit more unpleasant for you. If you'd just asked me to stop the call or politely told me you thought I was rude I'd have apologised profusely and thought very little more about it. As it is, you're cross, I'm sobbing (was the straw that broke the camel's back tbh) so life is that smidge worse than it needed to be - well done.

Sorry, really needed to vent somewhere - anyone else?

OP posts:
clockworklime · 10/05/2018 16:12

I would have told her to fuck off and mind her own business so she had something genuine to get a cat’s bum mouth about

cheshiremama89 · 10/05/2018 16:13

I would have told her to put an egg in her shoe AND BEAT IT

Squ1ggle · 10/05/2018 16:13

So sorry you're going through all of this. I think she was incredibly rude, nothing wrong with a short phone call at a reasonable volume at all. Please don't let her obnoxious and spiteful behaviour add to your load. You're doing an amazingly hard job by the sounds of things and you should be proud of yourself and what you do for others in need

TheOriginalEmu · 10/05/2018 16:15

there was only one rude person in this situation, and it wasn't you.
hope you are ok OP.

hampsteadholly · 10/05/2018 16:17

Shock the other woman must be an odd bod

ShatnersBassoon · 10/05/2018 16:17

Didn't you assume she wasn't compos mentis, complaining about something completely inoffensive and then haranguing you in the street? She was clearly not having sensible thoughts, and taking it so personally and dwelling on it is an OTT reaction. Forget it.

Slitherout · 10/05/2018 16:24

Thanks for the support - am tempted to think she deserved me then being very rude to her but glad I wasn't Grin

Will try and forget it, people who don't need to make life harder but do anyway are getting to me more and more generally I think.

OP posts:
balsamicbarbara · 10/05/2018 16:47

It's absolutely ridiculous. If they had been talking, you would have had no right to complain about them. I reckon they're just complaining as they heard one side of what may have seemed a "juicy" conversation and were annoyed they didn't get the whole picture.

user1492877024 · 10/05/2018 17:01

She was clearly nuts. Hope you're OK now.

muffyduffster · 10/05/2018 17:09

Big meanies, OP!
Must be the day for public transport gits Grin
I'm quite pregnant and a man on the tram headed for the same empty seat as me, I smiled and indicated my bump when he sat there and he told me I shouldn't have turned down someone's seat earlier in the trip Hmm my back didn't hurt then, douche!

blaaake · 10/05/2018 17:12

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blaaake · 10/05/2018 17:12

Pissing myself that she complained to the bus driver too like telling tales to the teacher

Ifailed · 10/05/2018 17:14

Why is the age and sex of these passengers relevant?

ManifestingPowerhouse · 10/05/2018 17:16

I doubt she'll read this.

Buzzlightyearsbumchin · 10/05/2018 17:18

I had similar a few weeks ago. I was having a shitty week, was walking to work, had my headphones in, then some woman stopped me I took my headphones out and she began to lecture me about being rude as she had said something to me an I couldn't hear her. I just put my headphones back in, ignored her and went off and it made me feel pissed off for the rest of the day.

Hope things get better for you soon op Flowers

Littlechocola · 10/05/2018 17:18

Are you not allowed to use phones on buses anymore?

Shoxfordian · 10/05/2018 17:20

I assume you weren't actually talking about the vulnerable people in an identifiable way? Fine to talk on the bus though

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 10/05/2018 17:22

As long as you weren’t breaching confidence she was being v unreasonable.

imweirdandcool · 10/05/2018 17:25

she is hatign because nobody calls her

Izzywigs · 10/05/2018 17:28

I have come to the conclusion that those big round things at bus stops are not for people to put their rubbish in. They are for people to park their common sense. If it’s not refusing to move over so that someone can sit down or take their bag off the seat it’s parkingthemselves In the exit doorway. Then huff an look surprised if you want to get off.

I so want to be a bus monitor and shout, “if every one of you stands in the narrowest bit at the front of the bus none of us can get on you Tosspots. Now there are those who want a silent bus. I think you were quite right to feel aggrieved and she has been added to my list of people I won’t to kill.

crumble2 · 10/05/2018 17:29

How unpleasant blaaake

OP I hope your day gets better Thanks

Nunya · 10/05/2018 17:30

Today 17:14 ifailed

Why is the age and sex of these passengers relevant?

^FFS!! Seriously?

blaaake · 10/05/2018 17:31

Wink @crumble2

pigmcpigface · 10/05/2018 17:31

Oh for crying out loud, such behaviour is ridiculous.

I'm so sorry you're having a terrible time. I wish you peace and light, OP.

Likejellytots88 · 10/05/2018 17:32

if that were me I'd have told her where to shove it! People have enough shit going on in their own lives without complete randoms making stupid remarks at them!

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